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Author Thread: Your childs dad
chrgentleman

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Your childs dad
Posted : 24 Dec, 2007 06:11 PM

I have a question for any woman who has kids? If you a normal relationship with your ex husband the father of your child. What would be some reasons for staying in touch with your ex mother in law?



Also here is the big question. Why would a woman send their kids pictures to the ex husbands mom and not the ex husband. Seems to me that anything to do with the child would be sent and discussed with the other parent. She asks like my mom is the exhusband. It's almost as if whether its pictures or whatever I am the last one to find out things about my own child. Yet she will call me and ask why don't i ever call her house. She tells me her other daughters dad calls all the time and my daughter wonders why i dont call more often she's 5. I have started calling more and have scheduled a flight to visit in Jan 08. Reason for not calling was not wanting to disrupt my ex's life in anyway. Sorry to be so long winded but i need answers because maybe we should talk about it when i visit if this is unusual. I would like to have the right attitude about this.



Thanks

Rodney

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Your childs dad
Posted : 22 Mar, 2008 09:09 AM

I THINK THERES ALOT OF THINGS GOING ON. FIRST OF ALL I WOULD SAY THAT GOD CREATED WOMEN TO BE INCUBATORS AND MEN TO GIVE SEED. SO WHAT YOU DON'T WANT DON'T GIVE. WOMEN STRUGGLE WITH THE AFTERMATH OF REJECTION, BETRAYAL, AND UNCOMPASSION. MEN ALSO STRUGGLE BUT I THINK MEN APPROACH THEIR STRUUGLE MORE AS A CHALLENGE AND WOMEN STRUGGLE TO TRY FIGURE IT OUT.

FIRST OF ALL I WOULD'NT WORRY ABOUT HER HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MOTHER AS LONG AS SHE IS NOT TALKING NEGECTIVE TO HER ABOUT YOU. I WOULD SAY TO MY MOTHER THAT I WILL NOT DISCUSS MY PERSONAL PROBLEMS WITH MY EX WITH YOU; BECAUSE I DON'T WANT A WALL BEWTEEN ME AND YOU. BUT YOUR EX FEELS LIKE SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO ANSWER TO YOU ANYMORE SO SHE MAY BE PLAYING A MULNIPATING ROLE WITH YOUR MOTHER. THIS YOU HAVE TO LET YOUR MOTHER FIND OUT FOR HERSELF.

I HAVE HAD THIS PROBLEM IN A DIFFERENT WAY AND THE ONLY WAY TO KEEP FROM GOING CRAZY IS TO NOT PUT YOURSELF IN THE MIDDLE. YOU HOLD MORE EMOTIONAL INFLUENCE WITH YOUR MOTHER AND I JUST WOULDN'T DISCUSS ME AND MY EX WITH HER. THAT NEEDS TO BE SEPARATE.

OK MY ADVICE WITH HER COMPARING ME TO ANOTHERS CHILDS DAD.

JUST BE THE BEST DAD YOU CAN BE TO YOUR CHILD. IF YOU ARE BEING THE BEST YOU CAN BE YOU CAN'T BE MORE. STAY PRAYFUL AND HONEST ABOUT YOURSELF AND LET THE LORD TELL YOU WANT TO DO.

DON'T GET CAUGHT UP IN A GAME. IT'S JUST THERE TO FRUSTRATE YOU, BUT BE OPEN TOO, IF SHE'S RIGHT ADMIT IT AND TRY TO BE BETTER. NOT FOR HER SAKE BUT FOR YOUR CHILD.

PEACE TO YOU.

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Your childs dad
Posted : 20 Apr, 2008 04:37 PM

first of all I don't have kids so I can't speak from a direct angle, however if I did have a child and I was divorced, I hope I would not act like she is acting. I can understand still having a relationship with your mom if they have always been close friends, but she should not be cuting you out of the picture, and then complain that you don't call! However, for your child's sake do not take it out on her, no matter how much you think you're disrupting your ex's life, always call you kid!!! It wil mean so much!!! Especially if you don't live close! My goodness! Also, to your ex, you should demand that she send you photos of your child as soon as she gets her copies! Let her know that you want to be involved, obviously she wants to send you a message if she is sending them to your mother! Hope all that made sense!and I hope yo had a nice visit with your child! If you can't stay close pgysically, you've got to try even harder to maintian the emotional closeness! Best of luck to you and God Bless!

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Your childs dad
Posted : 12 Feb, 2009 05:09 PM

have a question for any woman who has kids? If you a normal relationship with your ex husband the father of your child. What would be some reasons for staying in touch with your ex mother in law?



Also here is the big question. Why would a woman send their kids pictures to the ex husbands mom and not the ex husband. Seems to me that anything to do with the child would be sent and discussed with the other parent. She asks like my mom is the exhusband. It's almost as if whether its pictures or whatever I am the last one to find out things about my own child. Yet she will call me and ask why don't i ever call her house. She tells me her other daughters dad calls all the time and my daughter wonders why i dont call more often she's 5. I have started calling more and have scheduled a flight to visit in Jan 08. Reason for not calling was not wanting to disrupt my ex's life in anyway. Sorry to be so long winded but i need answers because maybe we should talk about it when i visit if this is unusual. I would like to have the right attitude about this.



I dont do any of it because photos I buy are what I do for me and if he or my x mother in law wants them they have to find the arrangments to get there own. It keeps my life undisturbed and I dont feel like I should have to do this because to me it is really just like a choice of taking the child to church on the time you have them. It is your own responsiblity and action or choice. I wouldnt read to much in to what your x does with others because it can be unhealthy for yourself to dealing with things that can be taken care of by getting your own photos of your daughter yourself and just making copys of your MOMs you can put them on CD OR scan them. Look on the back and see where she took the photos and buy your own. My thought on the not knowing anything about your own daughter is pretty much a person being unreasonable and not communicating with the right person and she knows it. The right attitude is what she needs to and blameing you for something she can help you with isnt one to me. I will pray for you if you like because its a real battle being divorced and having children and keeping a good attitude all the time. I know its a LARGE pill to swallow.

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