it's true.looks are everything. they are the soul substance of a person.who cares of a person is funny,intelligent, kind or generous....if they don't have the looks...it means nothing.lol.
I see a face before I see a personality, although sometimes the two come very close together. I have to find the person attractive before I would consider them as a possible future spouse. Once we talk for a while, and their personality comes out, I would equally have to find the person emotionally attractive before I would consider them as a possible future spouse.
If we're talking friends, personality rules without exception. I don't care how physically attractive a person is, if they're a jerk, I just don't want to be around them.
"Both its the physical that gets you interested and the personality that will keep you interested."
I could not agree more. Looks are important for remaining physically attracted in a relationship that has a sexual component (though I've found that even for the visually-driven male, this is not universal, yours truly included -- so I am speaking in general terms here).
The problem with admitting this is that most women (and some men) will become self-righteously defensive and criticize your preoccupation with physical beauty. Wanting someone who looks good and whom you will like to see lying next to you in bed someday (preferable AFTER saying the "I dos"), is not being "preoccupied" with looks, nor is it the same as requiring someone who's a physical "10". It may mean that for you, a certain woman (or man) is a "6", but combined with everything else, that better-than-avg. rating is good enough. This doesn't make you shallow or immature. It just means that you have certain standards/tastes/prefs.
In a relationship with a sexual component, men generally want a woman they find physically attractive. Women and apologist men should not condemn this. Women oftentimes (not always, but often) will blow a guy off simply because he's below 5'8" (I've experienced this more than once), while everything else may be there. And why? Because when they wear heals they don't want to feel stupid standing next to him (I've had two Christian women tell me this to my face and have seen it in women's profiles).
Ladies, sorry, like it or not, most men are visually-driven. Men, if you're not 5'9' or above, you will probably attract less women, all other things being equal.
None of these generalized criteria mean you cannot find a mate, but that some of us need to look harder than others. None of these make you shallow, unless you take it to an extreme -- in my opinion at least. For example, if you're a woman who's 5'0" and MUST have a man no shorter than 6' (I know someone like this), then something's probably wrong with your thinking. Men, if you MUST have a Playboy centerfold, then you need to re-examine yourselves -- again, in my opinion.
As for me, I am willing to make compromises and indeed have, if the overall package is there. I know that out of the 100% I want, if I ever find someone again, she'll likely be 50%-70% of that. But, that's good and can even be great. My late wife was about 60-65% of my total criteria and she was PERFECT.
Have your dreams, tastes, standards, but be willing to compromise for the overall "package".
Wow... sorry for the sermon! I hope it was at least cohesive and consistent? Not sure it is.
