Author	Thread: Is anybody making "matches" on this site?
gamegal View Profile History	Is anybody making "matches" on this site? Posted : 19 Jun, 2009 06:10 PM I am haviing a really hard time getting any sort of concersation with anyone! I admit I don't "write" 1st (oldfashioned) but I checked today and 24 people had viewed my profile but all I ha was 2 messages and 1 of those was from a friend I talk to on here. I'm really confused. My friends love me and say I'm alot of fun and love to laugh. I've changed my profile. To be quite honest, this site is giving me a major inferiority complex! My husband left me 2 years ago for his secretary (18 years younger) and now I finally get the nerve to go on a web site and even tho some guys look 4-6 times and still never drop me a note. I don't want PITY just maybe some constructive critism. Thank you, Debi:ROFL: Post Reply
ian777 View Profile History	Is anybody making "matches" on this site? Posted : 19 Jun, 2009 07:18 PM Hi Debi, First of all, this site does have quite a bit less traffic and population compared to other sites - which is a crying shame, because this really is one of the better sites out there. I'm sorry to hear you're getting discouraged - I know there's lots of people here who are, but try to keep your chin up. Got lots to say about your profile. 1) Your main photo is excellent - don't change that. The dress, the background, the blaring colours; it's very attention getting - it made me want to look! the other photos are good too - you might want to throw some more up there; the more the merrier, remembering that a picture is worth a thousand words, well with -what, six pictures we're allowed? thassa a lotta words! Make use of it. 2) Actually, I would throw in some of what you wrote here into your profile (I've copied some of the good points here, obviously you might want to change up the wording, or leave it as is; I'd encourage you to put these on your profile): "I admit I don't "write" 1st (oldfashioned)" "My friends love me and say I'm alot of fun and love to laugh." "My husband left me 2 years ago for his secretary (18 years younger) and now I finally get the nerve to go on a web site" I know a number of divorcees always felt flustered because they always wound up recounting their "story" of why they were divorced; well, if you put it in your profile, there's no recounting needed, right? And it'll put a number of guys at ease perhaps when they see what happened. It's not a pity thing, it's just that a lot of guys will wonder what happened? Were you the problem? etc... So I say put it up there! 3) There's not a lot written there - I know you say you're overhauling your profile, so I don't know how long you've had those words up there - but ditch'em. Spend time talking about: a] your spiritual walk - where are you at? What's your relationship with Christ like? You're on a christian dating site, so remember, most of the guys will be looking for that b] Pay close attention to what you've got in the first couple of sentences, as that's what's going to make people read more. c] make your "interests" shorter - WAY shorter - that'll get viewers to the "About me" part quicker. The interests are good - but I say put'em down in the lower portion of the "About me" section. d] You said a few things really good in your profile: "I am a loyal, honest,caring and romantic person. Little things like notes, private jokes, holding hands,etc.. " "I have a variety of interests. Love to travel, garden, beach and my choc. lab! ...I have a wonderful family that mean the world to me but someone special to hang out with, talk, laugh and worship together would be really nice. " Ditch everything related to talking about how the whole online dating thing hasn't been working for you; i.e., "I am completely re-writing my profile. I have been on website for about 6 months and altho I don't go "on line" every day, I do ck in several times a week....I haven't initiated a conversation but have sent a few winks and I see where people "view" me but no one is talking to me." e] I really like what you wrote under "first date" f] You might want to throw in a couple of things that you're looking for; obviously not going overboard, lest you make the guy feel like he has to fit or he doesn't count, but there's nothing wrong with something like "Seeking a man of God" or whatever is the first thing that comes to your mind. g] remember to break up your text into paragraphs to give people a breather, because you are going to make your text a whole lot longer... right? :excited: h] Throw in a conversation starter: Mention a funny story or something with "...but you'll have to ask me about the rest of the story." or something like that. i] what kinda music do you like? Mention it - favourite bands, whatever (this is all just conversation starter/relationship builder). What places have you traveled to that you really liked, or would like to travel to? Again - just conversation starter. Now as for views; don't let the views be your guide. People will be viewing for a variety of reasons that have nothing to do with interest. Plus, a lot of people have it set so that when they visit your profile, it doesn't register that they viewed - so that number isn't really accurate. Furthermore, there is very little traffic here, sadly. The vast majority of views, and even contact that you make (sending a wink, or an email) will get no response. Everyone here has the same problem, so it's not just you, it's just part for the course. you're also doing something right in posting here to the boards; this is something a friend of mine pointed out to me. You get to know others, and be known - and "lurkers" on the boards will see your posts, see something you wrote that catches their attention, and they wind up looking at your profile. They may not find you in a search - so the forums are a great place to hang out, not to mention, CDFF forums are some of the best fellowship out there. Hack at your profile and let us know when you've updated it, we'll maybe get some more feedback for you. Ian Post Reply
gamegal View Profile History	Is anybody making "matches" on this site? Posted : 19 Jun, 2009 08:04 PM Thank you Ian! Yeah, I kinda write like I talk (alot). I will work on my profile and come back for more advice. Yours was great. Debi Post Reply
View Profile History	Is anybody making "matches" on this site? Posted : 19 Jun, 2009 11:04 PM i agree the photo is catchy. i'd have one with you and dog... men love dogs and to visualize taking for a walk. good luck:glow: Post Reply
tessa330 View Profile History	Is anybody making "matches" on this site? Posted : 20 Jun, 2009 02:15 PM Honestly I think that even though were all Christians on this site as well as others, everyone is so busy with there own idea of Mr. or Ms. perfect, or what we want or expect from another that we never give anyone a chance to get to know us or visa versa! Which is ashamed cause if we keep hanging on and holding out for that perfect one theres going to be a lot more lonely old people out there! Let's face it people the only perfect one is in heaven, so if that's what were waiting on it could be a long wait for some of us!:excited: Post Reply
gamegal View Profile History	Is anybody making "matches" on this site? Posted : 21 Jun, 2009 07:46 PM What a great idea! Besides, love me, love my dog so they'd have to love him too! Post Reply
ian777 View Profile History	Is anybody making "matches" on this site? Posted : 22 Jun, 2009 08:04 PM I agree Tessa, however, there's also the communication factor. I said this elsewhere, so I won't go repeating long details. In fact, it's been humbling that I've had several ladies go out of their way to tell me they thought I was a sweet, funny guy. Yet, here I am 40 years old, never been married though I wanted to be - why did I strike out? Mostly my horrible communication skills. by that I mean how I presented myself in word and body language - it scared ladies off, making them think I was "unreachable" or "not interested," etc... So here, we have profiles. Getting feedback on the profiles helps us to c-o-m-m-u-n-i-c-a-t-e and present ourselves better, more accurately. I really appreciated the feedback I got on my profile, it helped me a lot. Even my photos, I blew it on those; the brutal honesty from others here was really helpful, because (once again) my PHOTOS conveyed messages that I didn't even think were there. Anyway, random thoughts for now. Ian Post Reply
View Profile History	Is anybody making "matches" on this site? Posted : 23 Jun, 2009 12:25 PM dear folks, i feel like ive been makin some very good friends here so far.. and thats how it all starts lots of times. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	Is anybody making "matches" on this site? Posted : 23 Jun, 2009 03:24 PM here's another idea.... switch your main photo profile every couple of months. Maybe someone who passed one up will see a different photo to intrigue him.... or after viewing 200+ profiles, runs across yours thinking its a new profile. It's a thought. i just started doing that. But honestly after a few months i haven't gotten any serious leads. I mostly do this for the distraction since i dont go to bars, etc., and the possibility of MAYBE. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is anybody making "matches" on this site? Posted : 28 Jun, 2009 05:55 PM Gamegal -- I think Ian pretty much covered it all. Above all, Put God First and To Thine Own Self Be True. Janet Post Reply
View Profile History	Is anybody making "matches" on this site? Posted : 30 Jun, 2009 10:03 PM Hang in there!!!! God has the perfect man for you....just have faith and sprinkle in some patience. You never know where you will meet him. It could be the grocery store, church, Starbucks......or it could be here. Leave the timing up to the Creator. I've only been on here about a week, I have enjoyed the site for what it is. This is my first time experimenting ona internet dating site. If I find Mrs. Right.....great. If i met new God loving friends from all over.....Great:goofball: Post Reply

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