Author Thread: Will i get someone to love me with my kid?
Noellah

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Will i get someone to love me with my kid?
Posted : 16 Feb, 2017 02:38 AM

I have tried severally getting back in a relationship but it just doesn't work. Every time i bring up the issue of my kid the other party seems to get uncomfortable. I feel like giving up. I really want to get into a serious relationship.

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Will i get someone to love me with my kid?
Posted : 16 Feb, 2017 06:03 AM

From personal experience the biggest hurdle to dating a single mother is the mother herself and her inability to seperate her love for her children from her relationship with a potential husband properly.

Usually what happens is the mother picks the children over the boyfirend no matter what the situation because she is scared of neglecting them, this sends a clear signal to the boyfriend that he is not a parent to these children or even beneath them socially from the mothers' regard. The children pick up on this and disrespect the boyfriend whenever it seems to their benefit.

Men know all this beforehand (woman for some reason never seem to see it) and try to preserve their relationship with the feint hope of "it will be better in the future"... rarely actually gets better though which results in men a lot of the time completely giving up on single mothers.



Only advice I can give is never date simply to date and let the children or boyfriend anywhere near each other. Date to marry and only introduce them when seriously considering actually marrying the guy so that he can project proper authority. This way the children get a more stable enviroment and early/fragile love gets a chance to bloom without outside emotional noise/stress.

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CoffeeNJesus

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Will i get someone to love me with my kid?
Posted : 13 Mar, 2017 08:39 AM

I have not dated since splitting from my ex two years ago but from watching others this guy has hit the nail on head so to speak.



My plan that I have decided to do is not introduce my kids to any man until it gets very serious and we decide will not be splitting up. I do not want people in and out of my house. I am raising my kids as Christians. I very much dislike that my kids have already been thru a divorce. But my kids will always show respect.



I also think single parent shouldn't date for atleast a year after coming out of serious relationships or marriages. That their kids have had an attachment to partners because it can be traumatic to them. Just my opinions of course. But I very much agree as soon as guys learn I have kids they run......and IF they do contact me and continue chatting when I tell them I have 5 kids (which I do right away I am a proud momand God has blessed me) they run for the hills or claim they won't but barely contact me then.

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CoffeeNJesus

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Will i get someone to love me with my kid?
Posted : 13 Mar, 2017 09:22 AM

I have not dated since splitting from my ex two years ago but from watching others this guy has hit the nail on head so to speak.



My plan that I have decided to do is not introduce my kids to any man until it gets very serious and we decide will not be splitting up. I do not want people in and out of my house. I am raising my kids as Christians. I very much dislike that my kids have already been thru a divorce. But my kids will always show respect.



I also think single parent shouldn't date for atleast a year after coming out of serious relationships or marriages. That their kids have had an attachment to partners because it can be traumatic to them. Just my opinions of course. But I very much agree as soon as guys learn I have kids they run......and IF they do contact me and continue chatting when I tell them I have 5 kids (which I do right away I am a proud momand God has blessed me) they run for the hills or claim they won't but barely contact me then.

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Will i get someone to love me with my kid?
Posted : 13 Mar, 2017 10:48 AM

From my experiences in communicating with women with children here, I can honestly say that I wasn't concerned with the fact that they had kids. The thing that made me run in every situation is that they were not from the US, and they all said they were looking for an American husband so their kids would be raised in the US. While I appreciated their honesty, I did not want simply to be someone's ticket to a better life for their children. That is no basis for a marriage in my opinion. I would be left wondering if they would leave me once they got what they wanted too.

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Will i get someone to love me with my kid?
Posted : 14 Apr, 2017 12:41 AM

Hi, you are young at 24 and if God is still preparing the man for you whichever part of the world, I believe it will come right on time and will consider your child his own. I think you should be specific with your prayer "Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. " Phil 4:6

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dedicated2U

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Will i get someone to love me with my kid?
Posted : 25 Apr, 2017 05:42 PM

I will pray for you. I also am praying to find someone who has room in his heart for me, my kids and for me, even my cats. You are a gift and deserve to be loved. I will pray for you. It is hard to be brave and reach out especially date even online. I know people who God has helped meet and marry and are so happy and they met on sites like this! God bless you!

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Will i get someone to love me with my kid?
Posted : 3 Jun, 2017 01:27 PM

The issue may not be that you have children! Maybe its your choice in men! Unfortunately I found that some single "christian" guys are bias towards single mothers. Single mothers in general have a bad rep! I found single fathers, divorced and widowed guys are a better match, they tend to be more realistic and experienced! Dont give up sis! You will meet someone who loves you and accept your children!

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Will i get someone to love me with my kid?
Posted : 3 Jun, 2017 01:27 PM

The issue may not be that you have children! Maybe its your choice in men! Unfortunately I found that some single "christian" guys are bias towards single mothers. Single mothers in general have a bad rep! I found single fathers, divorced and widowed guys are a better match, they tend to be more realistic and experienced! Dont give up sis! You will meet someone who loves you and accept your children!

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swampy

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Will i get someone to love me with my kid?
Posted : 1 Aug, 2017 02:51 AM

im a lone parent too and i get called a loser often because of my low income

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Chioniso

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Will i get someone to love me with my kid?
Posted : 19 Aug, 2017 04:08 AM

I think once one has children and single stop focusing on other new relationships. Focus on loving your children and your relationship with God. On partners relationship let it be God's will. Thank God for the children and give love to them. Relationships gives stressed and disappointments. In most cases when those relationships turn sour single moms and their children become victims. Lets praise the Lord and pray for divine direction. We need our minds to be reformed for the better. Single moms lets not jopardise our families by taking those relationships for granted. Lets pray and ask for wisdom from the Lord. Yes we can manage to live with our children without those men. How can one compare children love and partner love. Even married couple with children, mother always put children first. If a man finds a single mom with children he should join the woman to love those children and vice versa. There is no two way about that. Always children first then comes your relationship. There is a saying that says 'if you cant fight them join them'. Learn to love if you want a new partner.

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