Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself?
Posted : 9 May, 2022 11:50 PM
Hi guys. I don't think it is a huge secret that a lot of single women date with a list at hand with all of her demands, and wants in the man she is dating. I guess some men also have sort of a list they work from when choosing whom to date.
Do you think it is possible or even realistic for people to have demands on their list of traits in a partner that they themselves don't live up to. I am just curious because some women have tendencies to demand that the man have to make a certain amount of money, own a house or a car when they themselves don't. It could also be people of spesific colour being clear they only date other colours. It could also be people being people with sexual relationship(s) in the past demanding only to date virgins.
What are your takes on these kind of lists, and how someones lists don't match up to their own life and behaviour?
Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself?
Posted : 24 May, 2022 01:37 AM
Again I don't think we disagree, I think my third language is not very clear when I try to express myself.
For a man to impress me with his personality, it doesn't take all that much. I need for him to be passionate about something, be able to reflect and talk about his views on topics and "be interesting". Not just agree to everything I say, and ask me if the weather is OK, and if I slept well.
(this is a deep topic, but it comes down to chemistry in the end)
I want to be proud of showing him to my friends is more of a statement that I wouldn't have to "exhause" his behaviour or "hide" stuff about him that I am not proud off when introducing him to my friends and family. It is not about looking for some perfect man, but someone similar to myself. (same kind of level in certain areas.) Someone who works hard and has basic social skills, that is the bare minimum.
I will never dump a husband if he loses his job or happens to get ill and therefore can't work. I just expect him to have some ambitions and goals for himself, and to adjust them if life throws him a curveball. The guy from yesterday was content with the stuff he had now, and didn't plan to change anything in his life, ever, except get a wife. I'm not there in life that I would be willing to enter that with open eyes.
Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself?
Posted : 24 May, 2022 11:53 AM
>> The guy from yesterday was content with the stuff he had now [...]
Based on your description, he seemed to be doing pretty well already, so at least I don't see the problem.
>> and didn't plan to change anything in his life, ever, except get a wife.
I don't think you can know that for a fact; even if he said something to that effect himself, people often change their minds based on new information and/or experiences.
Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself?
Posted : 24 May, 2022 02:58 PM
>> Some woman might be very lucky to have him in the future.
Maybe. Maybe not. I'm not rooting for that particular guy; I'm just viewing certain factors, and your description of them, as objectively as I can, and commenting on it. It could've been any other man in a similar situation. I just wish you the best of luck in your search.
Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself?
Posted : 21 Dec, 2022 09:47 PM
Not Settling,
I get you. You are fine. Your date was a narcissist. He should have stated it was casual and you have every right to be critical. Sounds like a total insensitive jerk who wouldn't let you pet his expensive widdew tiddy tat anyway. i had a guy i work with say i can't be choosy. Um, yeah i can and will.
You're not critical not wanting a lazy man. It's your choice. Who wants a man sitting around getting cheerios and cheetos all over the furniture while playing video games all day? That man is not worthy of you. Heck, that's me! I got orange all over my phone.
As for virgins, i would cut them guys right off as soon as they said it. Bye. Just plain immature kid stuff. But you must be very young yet cuz i certainly ain't gotta worry about that.
Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself?
Posted : 1 Jan, 2023 08:14 AM
hi. I am 34 myself, not that young, and all the men I have dated the last 6 months have had quite a lot of sexual experience outside of marriage, and even outside of relationships. This to me is so weird when they state that they have been christians their entire lives.
I am still only dating high value men, but have expanded my region of dating also to include the UK...not sure if that is smart.
Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself?
Posted : 1 Jan, 2023 11:23 AM
Whether it's "right" or not is in a sense besides the point.... is it realistic?
If you are a high value woman (and it's increasingly common knowledge that woman have a habit of over-valuing themselves more than men do) then you have a foundation to stand on for a long list.... as you value lowers however along with your age you are stupid to not trim the list accordingly.
Men on the other hand are the opposite, they start off with almost nothing on the list and tend to add things as they age and increase in value because they realize they can now afford to be picky. If however you are a man that has not increased with value as you aged your options become either confirmed bachelorhood or rethinking this list business.
Similarly woman who are not as valued as they one were either need to rethink this list business or start collecting cats or something.
Basically... are you actually going to find a partner that meets your requirements and will actually be interested in you or are you not?
On the other hand if you completely ignore the market forces of this persuit.... how fair is this list you have? Is everything you potentially selfishly demand fair on the other person or are you actually being abusive? And furthermore.... are you actually worthy of the person you want to partner with you? Are you REALLY worth what you think you are or are you merely being a hypocrite?
Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself?
Posted : 1 Jan, 2023 11:27 AM
Thinking of an incident recently, had someone look at my profile so I looked at hers.... finally someone has something worth looking at but the more I read it the more I realized speaking with this woman would be a long term PITA even if she was open to it because she revealed a personality open to nuance.... it was all imperious demands and bible verses and made me tired.
This is a pattern I have noticed, a lot of woman that actually has something to read on their profiles instead of pretending to be "mysterious" as if it impresses anyone are basically listing a document of demands with legal citations rather than a proper personal explanation.
