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UNC2011 View Profile	I kissed courtship goodbye: christian rock music and legalism don't mix Posted : 15 Mar, 2011 03:25 PM This girl sounds like she believes exactly like I do. I try not to judge anyone that is a fan of that music and I try to not make it a big deal when I first meet someone because more than likely they are going to have the same reaction you did with this girl. I do feel like you should explain your position in a loving manner and try to get the other person to understand where you are coming from. So that's why I usually just avoid the topic all together until a dating relationship develops. Like I said though I do agree with this girl and her family. One thing I think churches do to try and bring in the crowds is take worldly music and put Christian lyrics to them. I don't think the heavy metal is pleasing to the Lord. It doesn't create a worshipful spirit. It appeals to the flesh, as a result in a lot of contemporary services you'll see clapping and the raising of hands, you'll also see a lot of swaying back and forth. Paul tells us I Corinthians 14:33 God is not the author of confusion. In Ephesians 5:19 Paul encourages us to sing spiritual songs and hymns and make melody in your heart unto the Lord. I believe this is telling us to approach music in our worship services from a non carnal perspective. Colossians 3:16 is the verse where I base this conviction off of though.....Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. I believe the purpose of music in the church is to prepare your heart for the message. I don't believe going to church should be like going to a rock concert. We should show reverence in our worship and we should be separate from the rest of the world as Paul teaches in II Corinthians chapter 6. I believe this applies to the music in our churches. I don't believe I'm legalistic and my intention is not to offend anyone that reads this but this is kind of a hot button topic with me and a concern of mine. I feel like too many churches are entertainment based and not there to truly worship the Lord. I'll go as far as to say that if you took the music out of these churches would people still come to hear the word of God preached? I'm afraid the answer would be no. If you have an open mind about this topic I'd encourage you to pick up two books. One is titled 'Why I left the contemporary Christian Music Movement" by Dan Lucarini and the other is titled "This little church went to the market" by Gary Gilley.
UNC2011 View Profile	Xenophobia Posted : 19 Jan, 2011 10:24 AM I've learned it's better if someone doesn't send something back. Not everyone is going to be interested. If people here are serious about finding the person to spend the rest of your life with then why is it so important that someone reply to your messages? I've had a lot of foreigners read my profile, I haven't received a message from any of them yet but if I do I won't send something back because I'm just not going to be interested. It's a personal preference of mine, it doesn't mean they can't be good Christian people. I don't know about anyone else but I'm not here to find internet friendships, I'm here to find the person to spend the rest of my life with. If it doesn't happen that's fine, I can enjoy the message boards but that's my main purpose for being here.
UNC2011 View Profile	Why even on Christian web sites do men think its ok to talk badly to women? Posted : 14 Jan, 2011 11:09 AM I'm really sorry to hear you had that experience, I've often wondered why a nice guy like me keeps getting ignored by women. When I send a woman a message I try to come across as nice as I can and show interests in some things she has in her profile. I hardly ever get a reply back though. Sex is the last thing on my mind and it should be for any Christian man. Sex is a gift from God for a husband and wife to enjoy together. This world has taken something beautiful that God created though and turned it into sin. It's really sad but it's the day in which we live. You just have to take it with a grain of salt and move on to someone else. Just trust that one day you'll meet the man he has for you, obviously this guy wasn't someone the Lord was bringing into your life so try and not worry about it.
UNC2011 View Profile	Short answer replies Posted : 10 Jan, 2011 10:19 AM Well I tried everything I could to get her to open up yesterday and she just wouldn't do it. I tried telling her about myself and asking her questions. Nothing seemed to work, all I get what short answers but she never opened up and started to talk freely. I even asked her to share her story about how she came to to know the Lord and what type of church she goes to. All I got back was that she's saved and doesn't go to church. So I ask her why she doesn't to to church and she tells me it's because she can't find a good one. I think I'm just going to move on to someone else, I don't know what else to say to her.
UNC2011 View Profile	Short answer replies Posted : 9 Jan, 2011 12:47 PM Thanks, I'll try some of those ideas. All I have to go on is she's pretty, doesn't drink, and she's a Baptist so that's why I sent her something initially. Maybe I didn't give her enough to respond to though, thanks.

UNC2011 View Profile	Short answer replies Posted : 9 Jan, 2011 12:12 PM So what do you do when you send a girl a message and all you get back is "Hey how are you doing?"This happened to me today, I don't really know how to reply to messages like this. I'd like for her to give me a little more to work with. I sent her something back telling her I'd like her to tell me a little more about herself (her profile doesn't have much in it to be honest so I didn't know what to say in an initial message) and she asked me what I wanted to know? Should I keep working at it and see if I can bring more out of her or should I just move on to someone else? This just seems harder than it should be.
UNC2011 View Profile	Who's responsability is it too travel ????? Posted : 22 Dec, 2010 08:45 AM "Now obviously I'm talking about traveling LONG distances, distances that might required flying or many hours of driving. If the distance is only a couple hours drive, then I don't think it really matters who does the traveling the first time...maybe they could just meet in the middle and be done with it!" This is the situation I find myself in right now, I've been talking to this girl for about a week and she lives about 90 miles away. I'm thinking about driving to her town, she said she would meet me in the middle but I really want to make the effort to drive there myself. I really like her (as far as you can like someone online I guess) and want this to work. I can't seeing someone in another state, it feels like we are too far apart as it is and it's less than 100 miles. I want her to be like 30 minutes away, not an hour and a half, lol
UNC2011 View Profile	"Message not yet read" Posted : 11 Dec, 2010 09:28 AM I don't think there is anything wrong with my profile, besides that's who I am. I can't force a girl to like me, she either is going to read it and be interested initially or she's not. Besides if we start talking and I put up a front and we end up meeting she's going to find out who I am eventually anyway so I might as well be upfront about it. I really don't think that's a problem though, these girls haven't even viewed my profile (unless they have that option hidden I guess) So if it is a problem then I just have to give that over to the Lord and wait on the person he has for me.
UNC2011 View Profile	"Message not yet read" Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 08:53 PM That's interesting and makes sense because I sent a girl something a week ago and she was "online" for a good 30 minutes after I sent it. I didn't want to IM her without PM'ing her first just out of respect for her. I mean she might not be interested and I didn't want to force myself on her. She still hasn't read the message though and I sent it on Saturday. Maybe she wasn't ever online to begin with? I'm just not having much luck with this site thus far, I guess I need to stay patient.
UNC2011 View Profile	"Message not yet read" Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 09:40 AM I've sent several PM's out but none of them seem to get read. My question, does this site send a email out every time they get a message like some other dating sites do or do you just have to hope they eventually log back on and see it?

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