I understand your logic, but I respectfully disagree..
Seeing someone 'at their worst' isn't necessarily a good thing, edifying, or even possible. Much more important would be to ask God for the grace to go through anything and any season that would come.
We cannot effectively know how someone might react during a hurricane, house fire, terrorist attack, etc.... and a host of other, small and large unpleasant challenges.
How could one even conjure up such circumstances as a 'test'?
That is why it is important to seek Gd now, during these smaller challenges, and trust Him for His grace, when the larger ones hit..
If they are aggessively seeking God, as you put it, that is, of course, great.
Everyone should be doing so.
However, if they pray for a wife, there also are some practical steps to take. Asking God for directions, and wisdom, is the beginning..
Many ladies seek God above all else, and I have experienced it scares men off - I have been told that I should speak less of Jesus in order to find a man..!
In short, this book did nothing to help people to form respectful, genuine friendships who might eventually develop into something more.
Very few churches actually know how to foster those healthy enviroments that would encourage such interaction between brothers and sisters.
I am grateful I have known a few Christian men in my life who broke the mould and actually were able to be that brother figure, showing Christ-like love to me.
The author of the book has openly apologised for all the harm, grief, and disappointment that his book (and the ideas it spread) has caused.
He has admitted that he was very young, inexperienced and naive when he acted as if he was in a position to tell others how to conduct their lives.
Meeting someone is already hard enough, and I have heard heartbreaking testimonies how this book finally killed all there hopes of ever forming a healthy relationship with anyone. Knots in the stomach, anxiety and panic, shame and endless fear of making a mistake are just some of the symptoms that people have shared.
My parents and their generations - and generation even after them - knew how to meet and get to know someone without premarital sex. It is normal Christian ethics, no need to add any extra rules and burdens.
I'm from that era, too... so letter-writing is something I was very familiar with. Expecting - and receiving - thick letter was the highlight of any day
Pity that such a skill and talent has become so obsolete these days.. but my guess is that eventually it will be back..
Girl with no (real) photo - emancipated or unfair?
Posted : 14 Dec, 2022 02:16 PM
That's refreshing to hear that not all men are into for that certain look... Plenty of men are, though.
We hear a lot that men are visual, but so are many women.. unless she is blind.
Visual just means so much more than a few pictures, whether successful or less so :-) Many people are absolutely non-photogenic (me included), so trying to get my photo taken or a selfie is a stress.
Agree David... that often the person still was the right one.. but sometimes people change beyond recognition in their beliefs and, actions.
As sad as divorce is, sometimes it is the less of two evils.
It's interesting that even non-believers have had those deep encounters and instinctive inclinations. I believe it is somewhat 'common grace' - recognising the right person should not be rocket science (yes I have met some rocket scientists, who thought relationships are way harder than their field.. and of course they're right in many ways!)
.. Maybe today, we live in such a desensitised society that we have lost the honouring of those instincts.. we are taught to look at the outward person, aka money and status.
I know Christian couples who met in their 'BC' days. They sensed God's presence in a special way even though they weren't believers yet.. all the more, a strong reason to pray it would be the case in our churches as well, and people would meet and connect without endless hurdles.
.. we sure have to be vigilant and discerning, no matter where we meet people.
I would much prefer to meet someone 'in real life', but, a there are no single, marriage minded men around, I believe this is as good as any other tool God has used.
He has used anything - including the donkey in Bileam's case - so He can use a website as well..
