Alison, in case this is of interest to you, I've decided that it is my desire to save even the first kiss til my wedding day! I'm not a legalist and don't dispute those who feel it's fine to kiss after engagement. I just want my contact with whoever I marry to have that li'l extra plus.
I say this to emphasize that I am the opposite of many, even some Christians, who are out to be self-centered "takers", focusing on self-pleasure, rather than edifying one another to the glory of God.
And I think you know I've already "taken a chance" on you. Hope you'll communicate. (And if you wish not to, I hope you'll tell me privately or at least be open to discuss and reconsider, if not.)
Thanks for posting that (that you said the admins said that showing how long ago someone was on violated their privacy). I too agree with you; it would be very helpful in a number of ways. But to CDFF I would say, ChristianMingle.com does it and has for years!
Dunravin, I disagree with your approach to the question of a photo or not. It's true that we shouldn't make a snap judgement or even a marriage decision based on appearance alone or primarily. But it really is a fair requirement for someone to see you, even though few pics do justice.
My reasoning is this: In the non-internet world of meeting, dating, courting and marriage, you almost ALWAYS meet someone face to face some time BEFORE you start a guy-girl relationship. By the time you do start something, you've already LONG known what they looked like. That is, the very first thing (generally) that you know about ANYONE you meet is, what they look like!
Now in the internet world, if we're on a pinterest board or any board where the topic of mutual interest is nothing related to romance, we don't need photos. That's why many forums allow and even ENCOURAGE "avatars"; graphics that are anything but a photo of the person. And just like those boards, we can use "handles" here, to also obfuscate identity if we wish.
But for something as serious as a potential romantic relationship, it's only fair to want to see the person FIRST thing before ANY communication. Didn't God make our appearances, too? So we can trust that there will be someone who likes us AND our appearance.
Maybe in some cases, delaying appearance is justified. But I think it's rare.
I've been on CDFF for awhile, but neither found anyone nor realized this message board was here, so I'm new to it today.
I've been scammed numerous times, both at a couple other places and a bit here. I now know signs to look for. Just today I reported about 5 moderate to highly suspicious "women".
What's surprising to me now is to learn that they target women too. I thought it was always African black males posing as white young females wanting older men. I particular am prone to receive these as I'm a guy who's been single longer than average and am wishing for and praying for a younger wife (so as to have children in His timing).
I'm so sorry they are emotional raping you women, too. I guess their greed knows no bounds.
If I get hit again and it progresses, I will do two things that will help nail "him". Firstly (and I've done it before), I ask them what they think of my testimony that I've published at my own website. (I have that advantage.)
http://www.tomsgoodfiles.com/toms-conversion.htm
When they click, it leaves a log record that I as webmaster can get to. When I see "toms-conversion" being hit in Nigeria or Malaysia, I know it's likely a scam (unless they SAY they're in that country).
But the final thing I would try, which I have gotten far enough along to attempt, is to get them to talk via webcam! Obviously, they will drop out before that point!
Let us accept that a free site like this will attract more of them than other places, and be on the look out. I've talked on phone to another site (not a chr. one; oh a Chr. one also I remember now). They all are very concerned and appreciate our reports. They also have tools to check things, more than just our own suspicions. (Some are like my web log.)
Every good thing can be abused, and these Chr. dating places are no exception.
Before I got saved, I was a scifi bookworm. After being saved, I was a computer nerd and a THEOLOGY bookworm. All along, I eschewed exercise my whole life, being no good at any sport. At 37, health problems were cropping up which were alleged due to sedentary lifestyle. They said I have to exercise. Tried walking, running, but enough of it to work was too boring and discouraging. I hunted and found a sport I could do and enjoy, volleyball. I was so enthralled with it, both as to the fun and to the benefits I did get through it. (But I had a lot of painful unlearning to do as I got started.) Probably less than 10 years after I started (in which I eventually got into beach volleyball, too), I felt like I must write a paper telling "How God changed my life through volleyball". Been too busy with life to write that, but I do want to one day.
But when it comes to weight workouts, that's been tough. Have done so for a few spells. Although my vb game improved each time, i could not keep it going more than a few months. One spell was in a gym. I was glad when the gym folded. Then years later, a friend trained me on some cheap weights and bench I got at home. But still could not keep it up. Last year after years of no weights, I was given a bench and some weights. Just last month, I moved to where I can finally set it up. I am pushing myself to do M, W, F, just 4 exercises from my prog. of earlier years. I think I can stick with this.
As for VB, for years I played 3 times a week (11 hrs total), but lately my circumstances allow only 0 or 1. But I will get back to more frequently eventually.
Have you been CONDEMMNED by others as having an "UNBIBLICAL DIVORCE" ?
Posted : 16 Oct, 2012 05:00 AM
Wow, what a long thread. Took me a half hour just to scroll FAST through most of the 55 pages! (Based on a few smatterings of what I read withing 1st 10 pages -- all in Feb. 2012, I cannot take time to read all this dialog.) I just wanted to throw in something that could help clarify and maybe shed some further light. It's an article I have on my website dealing with this sticky subject of divorce and remarriage.
As for here, I'll only addrress Paul's original long post. I admire you for your humble willingness to backtrack on your former position and be willing to change your belief AND your attitude toward those (women) you had disagreed with. I, too, have had to make changes, both on this subject and others. Here's the relatively short article I wish to share with all:
(Btw, I didn't really know there was a forum here. I mostly only get views from Phillipinas, and my searches turn up almost noone. Never really found anyone. I suspect most folks are on the paying sites only. Guess ya get what ya pay for. Ha!)
But I hope some will enjoy and be enlightened by the article as was i.
