Yeah, I agree. I'm planning on going for a second visit not this Sunday, but the one after that. I want to visit more churches and see if the Lord wants me to go a different direction before I make the final decision to attend there regularly.
Either way I am still going to go for it after I get to know her a little better over the next few weeks. The biggest problem I'm having is coming up with ideas to hang out with her in-between church.
Like I've mentioned, I've been gone for seven years and all my close friends now live everywhere, but Jacksonville so getting group activities together to invite her to are hard to come by. I'm putting myself out there, volunteering, going to events, etc. to meet new people but it is going to take some time to get my social life up and running haha. And I don't want to overdo hanging out with her group of friends and come across as needy or desperate with no social life of my own.
We'll see how it plays out, one step at a time. Strategy and tactics haha.
For those of you who saw my last topic (or didn't), this topic is an update of that one. Thanks again to those who posted on my last topic, hearing perspectives from both sides is always very helpful. As an upcoming lawyer and just as part of my personality, I tend to analyze things a lot haha. I am still leaning toward taking a few weeks to month of group activities before asking her out. She rarely dates and is serious about waiting for the right guy so I don't want to scare her off by asking her out too soon.
Things went really well when I saw her on Sunday. Good conversation and chemistry--not awkward at all. We pretty much picked right up from the last time we saw each other. And there was positive body language from her direction so there seems to be at least an opportunity to lay a foundation and ask her out relatively soon (I'm hoping within a month or two at most).
As I mentioned earlier in my last post, I am in the process of looking for a church home now that I have moved (I had previously been attending church in another town). In the past I have dated girls that go to the same church and while church can be a great place to meet new people it can be really awkward if you end up dating someone and it doesn't work out. You can't have that clean break because you will still see that person every week if not more in various church activities. My experiences with this has lead me to have a no dating girls from my church policy.
Objectively, I really like the church that this girl goes to and would probably go there even if this girl weren't in the picture. It is small and traditional with a decent handful of relatively young adults. If I decide to attend there regularly it would be a great way to get to know this girl in preparation for asking her out . On the other hand, if things don't work out I'm left in a very awkward position at the church. In this case, it would be even more awkward because her dad is the pastor and she has married brothers who go to the church as well.
I'm leaning toward forgoing my usual no dating girls I go to church with policy in this case, but I always like to hear other perspectives. Your thoughts?
I've recently graduated from law school and moved back to my hometown for the first time in seven years. I am looking forward to being able to devote a little more time to the for a future partner.
With that in mind, there is a girl back home that I do have my eyes on. We are friends/acquaintances from high school, but don't really know each other that well because frankly I didn't really talk to people back then haha. A lot has changed in seven years though! She stayed in town and went to college while I studied outside the state. Now she is a teacher at a christian school. She rarely dates and has never had a serious boyfriend. We've seen each other a few times over the years at high school get togethers and whatnot. From what I've seen she is an amazing Christian girl and I've heard nothing, but good things about her.
So on a basic level, I am interest in getting to know her better with the purpose of determining whether we would make a good match. Normally I don't consider long standing friends as potential partners because of the "friend zone" dilemma, which has cursed me before. However, in this case I think that being away for seven years and the fact we barely know each other anyway gives me some room to start fresh and make an altering first impression.
Since I just moved back, I am looking for a new church home and it just so happened (or maybe not) that the girl in question invited me to her church this Sunday so I do have this opportunity to assert myself into her social sphere and try to encourage her to view me as a potential partner.
So my question is, how should I approach this? Right now I'm thinking I should get to know her better through friendly group activities (like going to her church) and ease my way into her social circle. Then ask her out on a date and go from there. On one hand I don't want to wait too long and get re-labled as a mere a friend, but on the other hand I don't want to ask her out right away and scare her off.
It is definitely not the intention of the OP to attack someone's character. If anything it was to simply share my experience and ask generally why people do this so often on these dating sites.
I think you're right truefriend, whatever someone's reasons for discontinuing an on-going conversation, it would be nice for that person to at least tell you that they are discontinuing communications and why. It just seems like a small simple act of courtesy towards another person.
Just to be clear I hold nothing against the girl personally, I'm sure she had very legitimate and proper reasons for leaving the site and discontinuing communications. It would just be nice to at least receive a simple message like, "Hey it has been great talking with you, but for x, y, and z I have decided to leave the site and/or stop communicating with you."
Yeah exactly, online dating can be tough! We all struggle with it to one degree or the other. I think it helps talking about it every now and then to let everyone know that they are not in this alone and that we are all pretty much in the same boat.
It is important to remind people to be better and not bitter in their circumstances--to be content with all the things God has given to us that we don't deserve--especially our salvation! Keep our eyes on Jesus and everything will be all right even if life doesn't fit our preconceived notions of what it should be!
Why would a girl send me a message filled with compliments over my profile and say how hard it is to find a guy like me and then after one round of exchanging messages she suddenly stops responding and then deletes her profile altogether?!
Needless to say this happened to me recently haha. It is not the first time something similar has happened and it puzzles me every time. I mean I'm 99% positive it wasn't anything I said unless discussing mutual interests is now blatantly offensive lol. I would hope I'm not capable of shattering an overwhelmingly positive perception of me based on my profile in the span of just a few rounds of exchanging messages! lol
I supposes there are a million reasons why someone could do this and all those reasons just love to race through my mind trying to find the answer haha. I have just come to accept the fact that it will happen more often than not and that is just the nature of meeting people online.
And I know both guys and girls alike do this, so don't think I'm just picking on the girls here haha.
Sigh, another one bites the dust haha. At least that is one more person that I know isn't right for me! Just keep swimming and keep my eyes on Jesus! :)
Speaking of saying nice things to someone . . . it is great to see your name back on the forum Ms. Marvel! The forums have been rather dry for a while now.
And I'll gladly take some of the those true gentleman kudos, thanks. ;) haha
I'm not calling anyone out in particular; it is God that looks at the heart. But anyone who would discount a persion solely or primarily based on the color of their skin/race should take a serious look inward.
Discrimination on the basis of race is racism! Refusing to date someone of a particular race because of their race is racism! Pure and simple. It might not be on the level of the KKK or mob lynchings, but it is racism all the same.
I'm half-Cuban and I've met girls that have refused to date me solely on the basis of my race and my hispanic last name! I don't hold it against them personally. It saved me a whole lot of time from dating the wrong person! I'm not interested in being with anyone that would unjustly discriminate against a person in that way.
Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of reasons to legitimately discriminate against a person. But race certainly isn't one of them!
Remember what happened when Miriam spoke out against Moses for marrying a Cushite woman and questioning his leadership who God had personally appointed? Yeah she was struck with Leprosy! I don't recall God giving Moses a lecture about marrying a darker skinned woman! How about Ruth and Boaz? Ruth was a foreigner in Israel and God used her and Boaz to usher in the line from which our Savoir was born!
