This question was asked on the Ask a guy section so I would like some perspective from females on the opposite end. What stop you from contacting a guy after you read the profile? Also after you begin communication... what ends the conversation? Lack of interest, second thoughts etc.?
Things that would stop me contacting a guy would be him living outside the uk, having a profile that has little content, being married & having young children (mine are teens & 20s) I did stop communicating with someone after receiving a few 2/3 line emails I felt like it was a waste of time.
I have and will contact a man that I am interesting in.
What makes me stop contacting him may be the following:
#1. His lack of communication. Answering with just a basic yes or no despite having no profile completed that leads to questions to ask that will open various conversations. Therefore leaving me with nothing to base our compatibility upon.
#2. Lack of conversation leads to him being a scammer because he may revert to short words and use words I have in my profile to respond.
#3. After awhile I can tell whether or not I may be wasting my time based on #1 or #2. I hate being asked things that are on my profile that are very obvious such as height, age, I have left enough information on my profile so that a person can have start a conversation with me. I was very thoughtful and look for the same character traits when I am trying to get to know someone.
After all, at this stage in our lives IMHO we should be more through in what we want and need when seeking relationships.
Written words that are not using English words correctly, leads me to think that he is not from this country.
It's more important to me that you are already interested therefore not wasting both of our time and energy. When I contact back it is because you showed interest first.
Possible previous triggers from a bad past with the way the gent presents himself. (controlling attitude, narcissistic profile, bad vibes by the profile.)
I don't have time to just plunk the keys on the PC, I need a stirring of the HS within me to contact someone I don't know.
Too many ideals that aren't filled (I'm talking about ladies thoughts here), thus someone is too tall, too short, or too far away to try to be involved.
All is in God's hand, He will fulfill the desires of our heart, He is the One Who put them there. So we contact no one:)
Things that would stop communication after it has begun are:
1. You didn't ask me a questions and I feel like I am holding the conversation all on my own.
2. Your reply was too long to read and I just didn't have the time to get through it all in one setting.
3. Your replies seem to be a copy and paste event that are not connected with the previous communication link.
4. You responded too many times before I could respond and I am lost. I don't know where to start so I just don't.
5. The time of day/night you are responding. If it is not during the normal daytime without the explanation of working nights, it's too creepy. You must be hiding something.
6. You went to a sexual topic and got blocked.
7. You didn't ask me out after three-five messages. Not looking for a pen-pal. Moving on to someone who will ask me out.
8. You didn't use punctuation and I couldn't figure out
what you were saying.
9. You spoke about your old girlfriend/wife. Period.
10. Life got in the way. Work, family, weddings, funerals, illness, house work, social life, etc.
Now these reasons were given for stopping communicating after it started. They could also apply to not beginning contact if these things were stated in your profile as well.
The thing that ends the conversation for me most often is when a man starts focusing on my appearance more than on getting to know me as a person.
Recently I was talking with a man for a few days, and I cut him off when he suddenly started wanting me to get dressed up in a skirt and stockings and send him pictures, when he made comments about how a woman in high heels turns him on, and nonstop comments about how beautiful I am and how attracted he was to me. Uhm... no. A compliment or two is nice, but when that's the entire basis of his interest, I walk.
A man telling me his sexual preferences, or bragging about his bedroom skills, is another deal-breaker.
I don't want my appearance to be all he sees... I want someone to fall in love with the funny, intelligent, warm, compassionate woman I am, and appreciate my appearance as a bonus.
