Author Thread: How should love in a marriage really work?
Melissam871

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How should love in a marriage really work?
Posted : 28 Jul, 2017 05:38 PM

Hey all, so I was just wondering, i read somewhere that whole falling in love concept is a load of rubbish and that Christians can actually make a marriage work by choosing to love someone, rather than meeting the one. What's the deal please?

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PastTheEdges

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How should love in a marriage really work?
Posted : 8 Jan, 2018 02:58 PM

You've received a lot of good advice. For what it's worth, I'd like to add a little more. Sometimes it's easy to forget that a Biblical Marriage takes three people and we have to allow all of them to be active participants and appreciate what each one brings to it--the husband, the wife and God. The others have already offered good insight concerning not being unequally yoked--that's straight out of God's word. Also, they've spoken of the merits of having a list of qualities you seek in a potential life partner, perhaps not fully developed, but showing promise to develop with nurturing love. One thing more I'd like to add is that you don't fall into the trap of believing that person will complete you. You (any of us) are made complete in Christ. Our Heavenly Father knows not only our earthly needs(as individuals) and is faithful to provide them, He also knows our Spiritual needs(as individuals) and is faithful to provide them also. So when we confess our sins, proclaim that Jesus is the Son of God and accept the gift of salvation He offers and submit to his Lordship over our lives, God will perfect us as we run the race and we can begin to learn what a loving relationship is and how beautiful it can be and what is so wonderful about it. We don't Need anything more (even though we desire more). But then He does something amazing--He offers us more! He offers to enter into a covenant with a man and a woman and to show them how with his power, love, grace and mercy and so much more of who He is and with the promise(choice) of the man and the woman to Love one another and forsake all others(even the others that are more attractive, more desirable, that have more in common with you, that appear to be more spiritual than your betrothed, that are more...fill in the blank), He will bless them and show them a kind of loving relationship they couldn't imagine. We live in a fallen world. He knows that. We all have a sin(flesh) nature. He knows that. We sin. Love covers a multitude of sins! We come up short. His Grace is sufficient! We are still tempted by sin, but we are not longer bound by sin or under the penalty of death! Sometimes we lose our way and we just can't see any way forward together. He Is the way and He is always with us thanks to the gracious gift of the indwelling Holy Spirit! If you'll allow me to redeem a line from an old Leonard Cohen song, "If your life is leaf that the seasons tear off and condemn, He will bind you with Love that is graceful and green as a stem."

Too often we forget that God is not only part of the marriage relationship, but we don't understand that He is the most important and most powerful participant in it. But if we don't practice the presence of God(consciously recognize Him and engage with Him in the relationship) we cut ourselves and one another off from much of what He has to give to the marriage. I'm sorry to say I didn't fully understand that 'til after two marriages. I sincerely hope you are able to benefit from God's contributions to your marriage when it happens. God bless you and keep you well in his hands.

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PastTheEdges

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How should love in a marriage really work?
Posted : 8 Jan, 2018 03:08 PM

P.S. Short answer to: How should love in a marriage really work? Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind soul and strength. It is equally important to Love your spouse as yourself because you and your spouse are made in the very image of God--male and female He made you. All the laws are summed up in those two commands and they apply perfectly to marriage. If you do those two things, you will honor God and one another and not dishonor God or one another.

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