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Author Thread: Dating site etiquette: Responding to those who message you
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Dating site etiquette: Responding to those who message you
Posted : 24 Sep, 2017 04:31 PM

One pet peeve I have are all these self-described christian ladies, their profiles laced with Christian language and Biblical verses, along with self-descriptions that highlight their warm and generous personalities, who do not even have the courtesy to acknowledge a CLEAN and complimentary message sent to them.

In my own experience on this site alone, I have contacted approximately 85 women since I joined in March of 2017. I have had ONE respond, and it was a positive response. So, I wrote back, asking her to tell me a little more about herself (naturally, stuff her profile did not already reveal), and she never wrote back a second time. I have had two women (not scammers) message me (not talking winks here), and I answered both, politely letting both down. Why did I do that?

Because I have committed myself to answer any message that comes my way WHETHER OR NOT I am interested in the messenger. Why? Because it's considerate to the woman who flattered and honored me with the time she took to express her interest.

I've heard women say "Why should I respond if I'm not interested?" My answer is, "Why SHOULDN'T you? The man is (likely) your brother in Christ, and unless his message was lewd, his expression of interest in you deserves a polite response, negatively or otherwise. He opened up to you, but you handle his kind words with haughtiness (or is it cowardice?). How is that consistent with the nice little christian picture you paint of yourself?"

But, I've heard that men do the same thing. Why? I hold my fellow males to the same standard. You're just as bad, just as rude.

Now, if someone's getting 20 messages a day, I can understand their not responding to every one. It might be overwhelming. Otherwise, it's cowardice or haughtiness or some combination thereof. And, those traits are made easy to display in a medium such as this, where it is all too easy to dismiss another human being.

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Jayzeee

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Dating site etiquette: Responding to those who message you
Posted : 24 Sep, 2017 11:48 PM

That's so true Kiethipoo manners cost nothing and a polite thanks but no thanks is preferable to ignoring a message because your not interested in getting to know the writer.

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Dating site etiquette: Responding to those who message you
Posted : 25 Sep, 2017 01:49 AM

Thank you for that, Ms. Zee.

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Dating site etiquette: Responding to those who message you
Posted : 26 Sep, 2017 05:00 AM

Even if it's just a generic rejection it's better than submissive silence. Personally I find it hard to reject people but you have to at least formally do so. Winks can be safely ignored though.

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Dating site etiquette: Responding to those who message you
Posted : 27 Sep, 2017 07:41 PM

Wow! Thanks for this Keithiepoo. I am rebuked. I try to respond to messages as much as I can, but not all (yay!) Sometimes I find it hard to say I'm not interested and reject them. One time, the guy just didn't stop though I said we don't match. I just had to keep my silence.

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Dating site etiquette: Responding to those who message you
Posted : 28 Sep, 2017 03:29 PM

My opinion? One rejection is all that's necessary. The guy or gal needs to move on then. If they cannot accept your gentle rejection, you shouldn't have to keep doing it. I'd just block them.

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TRUUST

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Dating site etiquette: Responding to those who message you
Posted : 30 Sep, 2017 09:04 PM

i agree with you both brother and sister ...i do the same if somebody write to me no metter if i do not like them ,even some asked me than if I'M not interested IN THEM why you WROTE BACK TO me...i tald them just i respect their time used to write to me...GOD BLESS YOU ALL ,THAT'S THE EASIER WAY TO FIND REALLY TRUE CHRISTIAN PARTNER,IN HIS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE,VANI

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Dating site etiquette: Responding to those who message you
Posted : 1 Oct, 2017 03:15 AM

Nicely put. Thank you for that.

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Dating site etiquette: Responding to those who message you
Posted : 1 Nov, 2017 04:02 AM

I used to respond to all messages. But then someone told me silence is better than a negative response. To be honest, I am afraid to write back to some of the guys who message me....

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Dating site etiquette: Responding to those who message you
Posted : 10 Nov, 2017 06:30 PM

Here is why I don't reply to those that don't fit my criteria...because JESUS (our Father God) gave us this instruction :Do Unto others as you'd have them do unto you'

I asked myself what would I prefer...and I would prefer a non-response over a kind rejection...because when you get the notification in the email that you got a reply, it builds your hopes up...and then to read a REJECTION when you open it, that is cruel to me. So I don't do that. Kinda like sending an email to an employer and they reply back with 'sorry, we chose someone else'...I'd prefer they didn't waste my time having to open a stupid rejection email. SOOOO that's why I don't reply.

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Dating site etiquette: Responding to those who message you
Posted : 11 Feb, 2018 09:50 AM

Thank you for this. Quite helpful.

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