Author Thread: Am I that hideous?
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Am I that hideous?
Posted : 6 Jan, 2018 03:58 AM

This is my second time through on this website, and it's the same old same old. In other words, no matter what I do, I'm basically totally ignored by everyone but fake accounts.



I've written long profiles in which I've thoroughly described who and what I am, and I've shortened them, time and time again, to my current very short description of myself.



I've reached out to other members, and offered to be their friend, and I've also offered prayer support for people who are going through trying situations. I basically have one person here who I'm praying for, and that's it. Before I just delete my account for the second time, I thought that I'd ask for some feedback.



Is it my looks? Granted, I'm not God's gift to women, but I've always had women who were at least interested to talk to me. Am I that hideous?



Is it my age?



Is it that I'm "separated"?



Is it something else?



Hey, I'm asking, so please be as blunt as you need to be. I'd much rather receive some negative or critical feedback than to just be ignored.



I didn't come here expecting to find true love, but I did expect to at least engage some people in conversation. Aside from the dozens of fake accounts who have contacted me, I've pretty much been avoided like a leper.



What gives?



Be as blunt as you need to be.



Thank you.

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Obediencetotheword

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Am I that hideous?
Posted : 6 Jan, 2018 10:43 AM

No passion81, you are not hideous. None of God's creation is hideous. However, people have preferences, comes from different cultures, have different value system & a wide variety of factors that influences their choice of whom to interact with. As for my comment on your question, applying my different variables, I will not reply to you if you messaged. Why? Because I am looking for a marriage partner & your situation as a separated man is not compatible with what I am looking for. I hope this gave you an insight & God bless you for reaching out for an honest feedback.

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Am I that hideous?
Posted : 6 Jan, 2018 11:00 AM

Thanks for your feedback.



My "separated" status is a bit complicated. Without going into all of the gory details, my wife not only has been repeatedly unfaithful, but she's also slandered me for years...to the point where I could literally have her arrested. We basically "separated" 4 years ago, although we lived under the same roof for 3 of those years. Anyhow, she keeps telling me that she's going to file for an official divorce, but she hasn't done so yet. That's the very short story. The long story is much, much worse.

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SophyWisdomFromAbove

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Am I that hideous?
Posted : 6 Jan, 2018 03:05 PM

Hi Passion, I have to say I agree with ObedientToTheWord. Your profile says you're looking for a friend, which is totally fine.

But in all honesty - seeing how most people (myself included) are here because they'd like to date, and you are, well, not a free man - that is a total turn off. I for one would not involve in messaging someone else's husband. Even as 'friends'. And why would I?!

Other factors like age, denomination and church involvement, want/doesn't want children could play a role, too - for some women you just aren't a good match. But you're not hideous! You're a child of God. Just get your situation sorted, and be totally honest with the women you'd like to pursue. And don't get discouraged but learn to be content in all circumstances, like the apostle Paul. God is teaching us to trust in Him with all of our heart, and not to rely on our own understanding.

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Am I that hideous?
Posted : 6 Jan, 2018 04:53 PM

Hi, Sophy.



Thanks for your response.



I have been totally honest...



Anyhow, the whole "separated" thing makes sense. Technically, I am still married. In reality, that ended a long, long time ago. I've been waiting for her to finalize it on paper as she's repeated said that she would. Quite frankly, I'm getting tired of waiting, and I want my life back. In Pennsylvania, if a couple has been "legally separated" for two years or more, then either party can get a divorce without the other party's consent. I think that it's about time that I just went ahead and did the same myself. I'll probably just shut down my account tomorrow, and possibly come back when everything is in order.

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Am I that hideous?
Posted : 16 Jan, 2018 08:54 PM

I wondered what was his age but his account is deleted already....

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Am I that hideous?
Posted : 20 Jan, 2018 01:50 PM

"And don't get discouraged but learn to be content in all circumstances, like the apostle Paul. God is teaching us to trust in Him with all of our heart, and not to rely on our own understanding."

Easier said than done. Agreed, this is our "north" position, but most humans are usually just capable of north-east or west.

I guess what I'm saying is that it's easy to throw Biblical ideals out, but that is not often helpful. That guy's situation sucks and it's not easily tempered by "Just be content in all situations..."

Anyway, I wish him well and yes, I totally agree with you and others here who've said that his marital status was the problem.

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Am I that hideous?
Posted : 30 Mar, 2018 06:55 PM

Why wait for her? If you want a divorce, file for it so you can have your life back. I did and it's one of the best decisions I ever made.

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