I'd like to get an opinion on what people have for boundaries in regards to internet safety and online etiquette. In this day and age, the internet is accessed by all sorts of people and you just can't know who you're talking to. I'm sure most everyone on this site is a decent person or at the very least, not a serial killer looking for the next victum.
Since this is the internet and I can't know for absolute certain that I'm talking to Bob Bobson just because Bob says he's Bob because Bob could actually be Bobalina Johnson, I prefer to err on the side of caution. As a rule, I don't like to give away my name, exact location, picture, number, email, or easily identifying details online because you just don't know who you're talking to until you meet. I prefer to talk with the person I meet first and get to know them before deciding whether or not I want to share any personal details about myself. When I first created the profile, I didn't want to post a picture, but after a few days I posted one anyway. I took it down after a couple of months because I kept getting messages and wanted to curb them. I also was worried if my image was being used for more "illicit" purposes.
One person messaged me while my profile picture was up and right away wanted to video chat. I told them I would prefer to get to know them better before doing that. That person said they understood, but didn't want to talk to me because I didn't want to "prove I'm who I said I am" by video chatting. I told them why I didn't want to yet, but they just didn't agree so I just let it go.
Another person introduced themself with their real first name and I replied without telling them my name. They wanted to know and I told them I didn't want to share just yet. They said it was common courtesy that you share your name when someone else does. I told that it's the internet and I wanted to be safe because I don't know if they are who they say they are. They still insisted I was essentially obligated to share my name because they did and I pointed out they were never obligated to share their name in the first place. I suggested I give them a place holder, but they just didn't want to do that.
Recently, after my picture had been taken down, someone viewed my profile and I looked at their profile to see what sort of person was looking at mine. They messaged me like a minute later saying I need a picture. I asked if they needed it for something. Very soon after, they said I should have a picture because they had one and they viewed me and I viewed them. And then right after that, they said "since you can't then bye" and blocked me.
Those 3 instances rubbed me a little wrong because all 3 seemed to demand that I do what they wanted even though it would reveal private information that I was not comfortable sharing. Their arguments were common courtesy and everyone else does so why don't you. But sure that doesn't trump online safety, does it? Should I tell everyone online my real name just because it makes one person feel better? Should I just post pictures for the world to see just to make one person want to talk to me?
I'd like to have some opinions on this because I just feel like it was rude to just go and demand personal information right off the bat and get upset when I refused to do so right away. The blocking felt like such a temper tantrum over nothing, as if simply not messaging me wouldn't suffice. Has anyone ever had this happen to them on here?
Playing it safe online is definitely a smart idea. But giving out your frist name is not a problem. If you have a mailing address or phone bill your full name and address is online. (White pages)
As for people needing your photo, just pass on them. There likely very shallow if they need a photo to make up their mind.
On video chats. Yeah im 100% with you. What's wrong with text at first? Or meeting up in person?
Pushy people wanting personal info are likely not the best people to be around. Do you ask for someones personal info you meet in the street or at the store? Maybe a phone number and frist name but thats likey it.
Are for some general safety advice. Scammers will likely try to get you off the site ASAP. They will use anything to convince you you need to talk to them elsewhere. This is because they tend to get banned and if thay have you off the site thay can still try to scamm you.
Never send anyone money, ever. I dont care what they say to you.
Scammers tend to speek like a foreigner, Russian and Indian more often.
Playing it safe online is definitely a smart idea. But giving out your frist name is not a problem. If you have a mailing address or phone bill your full name and address is online. (White pages)
As for people needing your photo, just pass on them. There likely very shallow if they need a photo to make up their mind.
On video chats. Yeah im 100% with you. What's wrong with text at first? Or meeting up in person?
Pushy people wanting personal info are likely not the best people to be around. Do you ask for someones personal info you meet in the street or at the store? Maybe a phone number and frist name but thats likey it.
Are for some general safety advice. Scammers will likely try to get you off the site ASAP. They will use anything to convince you you need to talk to them elsewhere. This is because they tend to get banned and if thay have you off the site thay can still try to scamm you.
Never send anyone money, ever. I dont care what they say to you.
Scammers tend to speek like a foreigner, Russian and Indian more often.
I agree that you need to be cautious when meeting people online, but not so cautious that you are not prepared to tell the person your getting to know your first name. It's a two way street the other person doesn't know if you're who you say you are either, and if your not prepared to share some basic information how are you going to bridge that gap. I can understand not wanting to post your pics on the site, but you have the option to upload them and set them to private, then you can decide who you want to see them & when. You can also buy a basic mobile phone and open an email address solely for dating purposes. I have spoke to several people on here where it's been like pulling teeth and having a conversation shouldn't be that hard ever...
It's not that I won't ever reveal, I just want to talk to them and get to know them a bit before we agree to be on a first name basis. If we seem like we'd get along, I'll open up more. I just don't want to reveal too much too quit and find it definitely won't work. I just don't want to have anything come back to bite me.
Someone like me could likely find who you are rather fast with the info you posted. Withholding your first name doesn't help much if a person is skilled with tracking people down online.
Working in IT forensics I had to track down people by just one spam email or robot phone call.
Like I said most if not all your personal info is online if you have a phone bill or mailing address. Just about every service you sign up for will have a privacy policy and they often state that they will share your info with others.
If your still worried why not a nick name? Like say my friends call me X. or use your middle name?
Also your info is likely in the phone book too. But unless if your Mavin R Johnson I would not worry about it. Not very many people know how to track people down by a name, photo or even a phone number.
Also, if your ever concerned about someone or have a question about your safety online send me a message. Working in IT and information security I have rather extensive experience working with online safty.
Thanks. My full name alone is very common so you have to know more things about me in order to find me. I don't own a residence or have my name on my phone bill so I'm good there. I'm mindful of what I share online and I've looked up myself before, both for school and personal. While it's not impossible to find me, it's more difficult because my name is very common and you have to know more than that to find me. I love the anonymity.
I understood the people wanting to know more, but it just came off as a little rude the way some people seemed to demand it like they were entitled to it. It's a 2 way street and I wasn't making them share anything! They did that on their own.
Having a common name makes little difference and there are better ways of finding someone then a simple google query. if you receive anything in the mail your in the white pages, same if your employer/school has your name/address or if someone in your house hold or family is in the white pages. Also keep in mind your info isn't the only thing that can be used to find you, info from people you know can be used to find you.
This is coming from someone thats had less then a screen name to track someone down. If I were to have to findout where you live or who you are Id have a lot to go by.
Im not trying to scare you or anything, but just being here is enough for someone like myself or a PI to track you down. So withholding your first name is kind of pointless. Not that anyone probably cares or is crazy enough to try. Its not worth it. Nut jobs and scammers go after the easy pray and people that are willing to revel info about themselves.
