I can't think of another way to phrase it, I'm not suggesting compromise, mediocrity, or luke-warmness.
But I just seem to keep meeting Christian Women on the extremes. (Maybe that is the reason they are still single?)
They seem to fall into one of three categories:
1) They're Christian, and frequenting Christian Dating, but they really don't give a rats whether I'm a Christian or not. Far more important that a man is good looking, successful, wants to travel, eats at fancy restaurants, and is the right age.
For me, its not just top of the list, its all on its own on a list of one. If a women is not a committed Christian with strong Christian values then I don't even look further.
2) Their life is set in stone, and they have carved out a tiny man-shaped niche, into which they believe God will miraculously drop their perfect husband.
Logically, I don't understand why they are involved in Christian Dating???
3) They're still in the phase of "I'm gonna go to Bible College to learn everything about Christianity, and become a Missionary, and a Pastor, and an Evangelist, and a Prophet, and start my own church, and I must have a husband who's gonna do that also.
Don't get me wrong, Zeal is a good thing, and I've done more than my fair share of Bible-Bashing. But I've also seen the harm done by "sending forth" 19yr old goobers armed with nothing but two years of Bible College and arrogance.
Is it possible to find somebody who values my faith, but wants to get to know ME? And doesn't expect me to be Paul the Apostle?
More than a happy balance I think what you want is simply the right attitude, since a happy balance of these wrong ideas would be pretty bad too.
I think where people don't care whether you are a Christian, or they want you to be a missionary, comes from the attitude that so many people have: if you care about what is right, you should be a pastor, or if you're not a pastor then you do not have to care. I think it comes from the Catholics, who are all too happy to have such a steep line between the laymen and clergy. I think there needs to be more morally passionate business men and reporters and mayors, etcetera.
It matters. I married a man who I thought was a baptized Christian, but later found out he wasn't. His first marriage had lasted two years and ended in divorce. He claimed she was mental. The first 6 years we were together, he seemed to be kind, loving, unselfish, hard-working, etc...Then he began to change. He lied, cheated, mentally/verbally/physically abused me, had 5 severe addictions, became extremely self-centered and lazy, and suffered from mental illness. He had no guidelines for making moral or ethical decisions. In fact, he was unable to make logical or practical decisions because his choices were always based on what felt good to him at the moment - depending on what kind of mood he was in at the time. He had no understanding of his purpose in life. He had no concept of authentic love or theology of the body.
His entire family disliked me and my faith. All of their relationships were dysfunctional because they were manipulative and controlling and narcissistic. Eventually I found out that none of them were baptized Christians. I could see the choke-hold that evil had on their lives and how they began to blame everyone else and hate on those who were Christians and lived happy, peaceful lives. Evil was eating them alive.
Almost every non-Christian person I know pretends like their life is good, but in reality they are struggling horribly. For those who turn to God, their lives improve beyond measure.
So for me, it does matter. I am seeking a man who is not too proud to admit there is someone greater than him, someone who created him. Having biblical knowledge gives a person a perspective that a non-Christian just doesn't understand. It is a moral and ethical compass. It provides a clear meaning of life.
I'm not here to argue about whether or not God exists....just answered your question: does it matter. Yes.
Patrick, I'm Catholic. You may want to rethink criticizing or making derogatory comments about Catholics or Christian denominations. It's really not a good way to build relationships and honestly, when someone make a derogatory comment toward a group or other person, it is really just a poor reflection on themselves. How about just stating your opinion on the question and leaving out the other stuff?
Ma'am. Buidling on Dazz's reply, I would say that what he mentioned is not far from the truth.
The point he is trying to make is not about people who seek a perfect Christian man/woman. An unrealistic person too ideal to be true.
Yes we as believers, those who have professed their faith in Lord Jesus Christ, irrespective of their denominational affiliation on both Catholic and Born again Protestant stream, are suppose to grow in Him in faith and action and there are times when we stagnate but overall we must have to keep moving on. That is a fair assessment I suppose.
When those expectations met with the ideal expectation of an individual it leads to chaos. And there are number of people in here, I think Dazz will agree on it, that falls on either one side of spectrum or another, quite haphazzardly, I must say.
Either they are hyper Christians or those who are name sake. Then there is one kind who think they are but their actions speak too liberal. Good for them. :-)
To answer on your state as you shared in a post to Patrick.
I would not judge you because I have seen believers in Catholicism as well. But I must add this, quite non-judgementally if I may so. Did you prayed on your hands and knees in tear and with fasting in all ferventness, to come to the decision on marriage. Or was it merely based on feelings, emotions, fast heart rates or be consumed by the thought of the person. You should not answer me. It is between you and the Lord.
I have seen up close (though not personal), the effects of bad decision. One person I know got seperated from her so called Chrisitan hubby in 3 months of their marriage. When people do not know the cost they end up in disaster. When the marriage is not sorted in the Will of God to whom we say we are your bondservant, life leads to such disaster.Sadly.
I apologise if in anyways my words hurt you but I tried to write as softly as possible. Again I did not meant to judge you but answer. Thank you.
Oh it is acceptable indeed to " criticizing or making derogatory comments " or call them out for their hypocrisy , idol worship , false doctrine , for there are not only commands to do that in scripture , but examples of disciples doing so .
Would anyone care to have those scriptures posted ?
Or are we too afraid to " Offend " someone in order to " content for the Word of God " ?
