Author	Thread: When is the 'right' time to start dating again?
HonestyAlways89 View Profile History	When is the 'right' time to start dating again? Posted : 15 Sep, 2019 03:43 PM After 23 years of marriage my wife told me that she wanted to feel free of family 'responsibilities' and travel the world and feel "independent", even though we had a deep and profound love, not to mention our youngest (11 year old daughter) was still at home. It knocked me to my knees, and that's when I first reached for Jesus and felt his presence. This happened 2 years ago, but after changing her mind a couple of times she finally moved out this past summer and the clock was started on our legal separation. I have lived for the last 2 years knowing that she had one foot out the door. I took my vows seriously and hoped that she was my life partner and we could accommodate her draw to be independent. But I accept that her path is now going in a different direction, and trust fully in the Lord to direct me and I pray that he will guide me to the right Christian woman. But I'm unsure when I should start actively seeking her. I haven't dated in a very long time, and wasn't much good at it even back then. So as my ad indicates, I am separated. Do women prefer a man to have the divorce finalized before they will start a friendship? Does it make a difference that I feel my separation started 2 years ago? I am nervous about starting, but I want someone in my life that I can cherish and adore, and share special times with. Sorry, I tend to babble on when I think out loud. Post Reply
HonestyAlways89 View Profile History	When is the 'right' time to start dating again? Posted : 9 Oct, 2019 01:33 AM Wow, thank you all for your advice and prayers. I think I agree with most of your comments. Except maybe for needsafriend7 who seems to be angry and judgmental - I thought this was a Christian website. needsafriend7, I will pray that you find that friend. KJVonly I had considered the 'catch 22' you mentioned, but she was very adamant about wanting to be "free and independent" and didn't believe in being married for life anymore. And its funny that you said be patient and pray for God's guidance because I have and I keep getting a message from Him- to be patient. Chionoso, thank you for your comments and advice. I will say though that me wanting to meet someone isn't motivated by physical desires but rather my desire to want to love someone. It feels unnatural to me to not have someone to take care of and love (yes I do have my kids, but that's not what I mean). But I do also recognize that these things do happen for a reason, and it is probably in my best interest to focus on me and Him or should I say Him and me during this 'transition' time. It is through these hardships that He brings us closer to Him and gets us back on to the path we were intended to follow. Sweetlybroken1, thank you for sharing your story. Something that I have learned through this process is that so many people seem to have had their hearts broken in so many different ways, but the result seems to be similar - a whole lot of pain must be endured for varying time frames, and there are no real short cuts through the process. Perhaps that's what I was hoping for by meeting someone new. Falling in love again could be that 'quick fix', but that really is just a recipe for disaster. Oh and thanks for the info on our sad judiciary system. Somehow it doesn't surprise me though. For what its worth, I have to say that creating this profile on here has been somewhat therapeutic. Going through this separation/divorce process is a very lonely experience. She was also my best friend, the only person who really knows me. But coming on a site like this has shown me that there are lots of amazing women (some with similar experiences) but all seeking a life partner and love too. And some even go that extra distance and share stories, advice, and prayers. Thanks again to you all. Post Reply
View Profile History	When is the 'right' time to start dating again? Posted : 10 Oct, 2019 08:06 AM In this same vein, what if they're a foreign woman? As they clearly have different customs, in their own countries about marriage/separation/divorce. How do you deal with that, especially on here where the majority are foreign and list themselves as "separated"? Post Reply

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