Author Thread: Do looks matter for Christian men?
Brandyccc

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Do looks matter for Christian men?
Posted : 23 Mar, 2020 05:00 PM

This opposite question was asked to the ladies...so now let's ask the men. And ladies you can chime in if you want to make comments.

(Not being judgemental here, as I know in general, men are known to be more visual,,and it's all a matter of preference also...but thought it was an interesting question, as to how important are looks to the men..?

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NarnianGirl

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Do looks matter for Christian men?
Posted : 25 Mar, 2020 07:00 AM

Just to chime in as a woman.. Not ALL women want a man with wealth .. that is the least important in my eyes.

I could already have married someone who had his own business (and always talked about his successes) .. those things do not matter.



What matters is the whole package. His personality and his relationship with the Lord (which is reflected in his character and how he goes abut in life and how he treats people)

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NarnianGirl

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Do looks matter for Christian men?
Posted : 25 Mar, 2020 07:08 AM

.. But the funny thing is, I see it happen a lot that men seem to prefer to marry women who are not that good looking / feminine.

They may find the feminine girls attractive, but are too scared and intimidated by them.. and of course, the churches often teach that 'attraction fades', so lots of men tend to look for something familiar, comfortable, easy-going, and then settle for that. (and she of course needs to have a steady job and high income, lol)

These buddy type of marriages may be good, BUT at one point, one or both partners may find something missing..



God created attraction and sexual tension between man and woman, just read the Song of Songs and there we have it.

That side of life should not me despised or minimized.



As a relatively feminine looking woman, I have often envied the less feminine boyish looking girls - they are treated much better and guys treat them with friendliness - as human beings - whereas many feminine looking women (generously endowed that is..) are often overlooked and treated with contempt or toyed with, (Yes, I mean Christian men too, sadly)



Have often thought.. no matter if I wear a burqa, someone is still going to see that I am woman lol. Don't wear make up, or revealing tight clothes, but apart from plastic surgery, I cannot change my figure. Neither should I, God created me, and I like being a woman.

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CountryIvy

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Do looks matter for Christian men?
Posted : 25 Mar, 2020 09:48 AM

Maybe they know their worth is not based of looks and stereotypes and so don't settle?

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NarnianGirl

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Do looks matter for Christian men?
Posted : 25 Mar, 2020 11:07 AM

CountryIvy, who do you mean doesn't settle?



No one's worth is based on looks... and no one should 'settle' for anything less than God's best.. no matter what the looks.



I was simply referring that men aren't necessarily treating women better based on looks... I have spoken with many women who experienced the same phenomenon - being cruelly treated in ministries if they happen t look feminine. (and I do not mean flaunting their body or wearing heavy make up)

Men often seem to discriminate against more feminine women - out of their own fears? Guilt? and maybe porn addiction (assuming that women who look more feminine are somehow 'sinful')



Not every attractive looking woman is a temptress!

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Karli^

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Do looks matter for Christian men?
Posted : 25 Mar, 2020 11:35 AM

I am sorry Narnian girl you feel that way...that's a typical sentiment that very beautiful women have...but men are attracted to beauty. Every man wants a beautiful godly woman by his side...the Bible describes Esther, Racheal, Abigael, and Rebecca, Vashti as beautiful women, had lovely forms and good to look at....A good man will see your wholesome beauty and act accordingly....don't worry. Be your Godlike feminine self! Celebrate your beauty.

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NarnianGirl

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Do looks matter for Christian men?
Posted : 25 Mar, 2020 12:31 PM

Thanks Karli - you too! Let's enjoy being women :-)



I am not even particularly stunning, compared to many gorgeous (equally single) women I know..

There is no need for compliments from men, but I do want to be seen as a fellow human, not a target to be gawked and stared at.

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T0TH3M4X

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Do looks matter for Christian men?
Posted : 26 Mar, 2020 07:12 PM

Here are my thoughts on the whole beauty/looks thing.



Of course your average person wants to meet someone they find attractive, but it's all subjective. What I have learned about looks over the years is that a person who instantly seems attractive can turn ugly very quickly if they have a bad attitude or aren't friendly, and a person who may be perceived as "so-so" can shine when they are kind and have other desirable qualities.



So with that being said, just do your best to shine in life, and don't worry about if someone else things you're their cup of tea, because if they don't, there's a good chance the next person will.

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Brandyccc

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Do looks matter for Christian men?
Posted : 26 Mar, 2020 09:23 PM

TOTH: I like that answer. I'm thinking, maybe most quality men aren't looking just for beauty queens. But not many men have answered, so I'm not so sure. Ha!

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T0TH3M4X

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Do looks matter for Christian men?
Posted : 27 Mar, 2020 08:23 AM

Brandy,



When someone passes you up, they weren't the right one anyway. You just have to get to the one that doesn't, and they're more than likely a better choice anyway.

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Brandyccc

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Do looks matter for Christian men?
Posted : 27 Mar, 2020 12:13 PM

Right!

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