This opposite question was asked to the ladies...so now let's ask the men. And ladies you can chime in if you want to make comments.
(Not being judgemental here, as I know in general, men are known to be more visual,,and it's all a matter of preference also...but thought it was an interesting question, as to how important are looks to the men..?
Since he wrote that he has no control over being attracted to someone, then I'm sure a secular site would serve him better (unless, of course, he has a "fetish").
If a person has so little self esteem that he/she thinks the only way someone would fall in love with them is a shared religion..... I highly doubt even the most literal christian site would be able to help.
Yes people that are here with honest intentions are more likely to date Christians.... that has nothing to do with attraction though.
It does not mean they are any more attracted to Christians than non-Christians only that they are more likely to entertain long term relationships with Christians..... which has nothing to do with attraction.
Looks matter, but they also fade over time as with all people. What also matters is confidence, character, communication, kindness and other such traits.
We are all visual people just as much as we are emotional and spiritual. Being 'hot' doesn't automatically mean attractive any more than 'not' being hot means unattractive. People all have preferences, and things either click with someone or they don't - at least on one level or another. I may look at someone and think "you're really cute", and read their profile and something just really doesn't click or makes me think "this isn't what I'm looking for". Attraction is always multi-layered and it's very difficult to put very many of those layers here other than photos. It also takes time to get to know people, and conversation is a pretty big part of that.
Someone may be one of the most physically attractive people out there, but if they can't hold a conversation, carry immaturity like a cloak, seem manipulative or any number of things then they may be instantly unattractive to anyone.
Just be you. You'll at least filter out (some of) those who aren't taking you serious in the first place, and hopefully left with conversations that are more likely to flourish. Let your heart and soul sing, see what it resonates with.
I’ve been considering whether or not to put this out there or whether it wouldn’t be helpful to the conversation, and I thought, why not? Hopefully it helps. This goes for both men and women, but my experiences have been from reading women's profiles. I can pretty easily tell when someone has been very thoughtful about their profile.
The ones who haven’t been very meticulous all pretty much have the same sorts of things: “I’m a Christian. Family and friends are very important to me. In my free time I love to spend time with them, listen to music, or watch movies. I tend to be quiet until I get to know someone, and then I open up…” and then they say they want some variation of a long term relationship and sometimes what they don’t want (scammers, hookups, people 30 years their senior, etc.) and then a closing with something like, “Anything else you want to know, just ask.” That’s a fine start or framework to build upon. Unfortunately, these things are pretty common to most of the profiles I see. We’re all supposed to be Christian on here, most of us should feel at least pretty close to our families and friends, and most people like listening to some kind of music or watching movies, and none of us like scammers unless we just like to mess with their heads like James Veitch.
In the end, there’s very little detail that makes them stand out from the rest of all the other such profiles. I understand that some folks want to leave something to talk about in conversation, and those folks are right to want to do that, but I have to ask: if someone isn’t putting a few interesting details about what makes them unique, like some specific examples of what they like/don’t like, or throwing in an example of their sense of humor, or describing something concerning their faith that they’re very passionate about (e.g. a particular worship style, overseas missions, or ending human trafficking) are they really relying on anything BUT their looks to find a relationship (at least initially)?
Looks do matter - even if only 10%.. which is why i do not understand why so many people refuse to put up their photo OR put up their high school photo when they are 60 years old.
There is also the phenomena of someone being attractive until he/she speaks..... attraction is not mono-dimensional. As stated above there is no universal ultimate scale of "hotness".
I have seen woman generally considered to be "hot" that I have an absolutely neutral reaction to, others less "hot" that bring out very strong positive reactions..... there is no standard "attraction test" it's all individual.
I have also noticed that taste changes with time, which is good because people change with time, generally people's taste expands to accommodate the general physical changes of potential partners, age being one of these and weight being another. It's an automatic system perfectly in balance, no use fighting it.
