How does one define beautiful or attractivenone, what is that thing that draws you to someone and decide that's the one. If one is a few pounds extra, doesn't wear make up or dont do fake hair does that make them them ugly
I think "attraction" is something that is determined based on how well we know someone. Sometimes you can see someone that at first appears as attractive, but they don't hold themselves well with how they treat others, and that beauty you once say starts to fade, and you can meet someone who is so-so to you at first, but their personality makes them shine.
I think it comes down to what we choose to see as attractive. There isn't one rule that's going to determine who is or isn't attractive to everyone.
What do you guys personally think is physically attractive? (I’m just curious about how the majority of guys on here will respond since we just had that long topic about physical looks being important to men).
I would say my #1 thing is to read someone's profile. If they sound unstable or complain a lot, then I tend to avoid those women because I believe that kinda thing is likely to carry over into a relationship. If they talk more about who they are and what interests them, or even just what's important to them, then I find myself more comfortable and like there's a potential starting point.
But if you're talk specific physical attraction, I don't have a special rule I follow. I think you're either attracted to someone or you're not. One thing I tend to notice is tattoos. It's not my thing personally, and it's not necessarily a deal breaker for me, but there's a point where it's too much and I wouldn't adjust well to it. Piercings can be hit or miss too. Is she a "biker babe", well I might think she's a wonderful person, but I wouldn't be a good fit for her.
Each day just be yourself. It's either good enough for someone else or it isn't. If it is, then great. If not, then move on. :)
I think, if someone looks healthy, that's attractive. So, if someone is extremely fat or looks weird like missing an arm and a leg or missing an eye or no hair (on a woman) or limping or acting weird (hint of mental illness) -- those are unattractive. For me, also if someone has a visible tattoo, that's unattractive. I hate tattoos. They're ugly, and they can never be erased. Over time, they become blurry, so you can't see what the original drawing was. All you can see is some dark blurry mess.
I personally think that blue eyes and blonde hair are most attractive. White skin is more attractive than any other color of skin. (I'm not talking about other men. I am just describing what I myself find attractive.) And this is not up to a debate. You can't argue with me about this. You can't tell me, "well, I think, you should think that black skin attractive and black eyes" because this is how I feel. This isn't something that one day I sat down at my desk and decided on what should be attractive to me. I feel like this is how my brain is wired. You can't change it. NONE OF THIS IS UP FOR DEBATE. I didn't decide on these things. It's how I am. Period.
I think, a face becomes unattractive after it becomes too old looking, much older than myself. A face also becomes unattractive to me if it's too fat. And hair color is important too. White and grey hair is most unattractive on young women. Brown and blonde hair is attractive. Makeup makes young women look old, so I don't like that. Red lipstick is not my favorite. I don't like it. Black lipstick is even worse. I like when there's no paint on the lips. Makeup makes old women look younger, so it's okay for them. But I don't like the color black. So, if someone shows up in black skirt, wearing black socks, black nails, black shoes, black eyebrows, black hair, black eye liner, black lips -- that's very unattractive to me. Makes me want to look away. As far as fake hair, wigs, hair extensions and things like that -- I don't know. I usually can't tell what's fake and what's not. I like when there are no fakes. It would be a huge disappointment for me to find out that someone who looked pretty actually had a wig or fake hair. I want real hair, not fake. I don't like short hair. It's unattractive. Hair should be at least neck length, and if it's longer than 3 ft, then that also CAN BE unattractive. Smooth hair, wavy hair, curly hair are all attractive, but when the curls are small, that's unattractive.
Some men like eyeglasses. I don't care. For me, it doesn't make someone more or less attractive at all. I like when someone looks modest. That looks attractive. Immodest clothing makes one unattractive. Red hair is okay. Freckles are okay. If someone looks like a guy, that's unattractive. In other words, no facial hair, no mustache, etc. Any lines on a face that make someone look like a man is unattractive. Pants and shoes are not unattractive.
When someone looks into the distance and saliva drips from the mouth, that's unattractive. Usually people who are not very bright have this dumb look. And those on drugs also look like that. A very wide nose is unattractive. Giant ears, a big jaw, very wide face, small eyes far apart -- those things are all unattractive. When someone has very big bushy eyebrows, that's unattractive. Or when I can see that someone got rid of all their eyebrows and just painted a fake eyebrow there, that's unattractive too. When someone has hair on their legs and under armpits, etc -- those are not attractive, but they are not bad either. It's normal. Just like wearing eyeglasses, they are not positive and not negative.
Sometimes you can read someone's traits from looking at their face. When I see kindness on a face, that's attractive. Smiles are attractive. When you can tell from someone's face that this person is funny and loves to laugh, she is positive and optimistic, those are attractive to me. Sometimes you can tell from a face when you see a big people person who loves to talk all the time -- that to me is unattractive. I would much rather prefer a quiet person, an introvert who likes to stay out of the limelight. Again, that's my preference. I am not talking about what most other men like. These are all what I like.
I've been asking myself this for several years now. A dozen ladies standing in a row, some I find attractive, some I don't, some just less attractive. For me, its a look, its a preference. I don't find over weight attractive. I don't find really skinny attractive either. Some guys like big a chest. I don't. Some like big hips and big curves. I don't.
Just like some people like brussell sprouts. For me its an acquired taste.
And what I'm learning, is those women I find really attractive are usually not the women that would want to marry.
Took me a while to understand it, but on a Murphy's Law poster there was a saying, Beauty is only skin deep. Ugly goes right to the bone. After encountering several women over the years I've learned what it means the hard way.
But all that said. Tommy Nelson did a sermon called 5 Guidelines to Marriage. Faith, Morals, Ministry, Social Life, and Passion. You want to find someone on the same page in these 5 areas. The last, Passion, he referred to asking a young engaged couple how their purity life was progressing. They said they didn't have a problem in that area. He replied, Well then we have a problem! If you aren't attracted enough to your future spouse to burn with desire for them before you are married, you WILL burn with desire for someone AFTER you are married and it won't be your spouse!
So, defn of attraction? Something about a person that draws you mentally or physically to another person,
Reminds me of Tom Sullivan, who was blind, asking Bo Derek why he should think she's a 10! (for any youngsters reading this, Bo Derek was in a movie called "10" and Tom was interviewing her.)
Not at all! As posted before, beauty is really in the eyes of the beholder. I believe everyone has an inherent beauty from God, as we are made in His image. Also, I believe we find different traits 'attractive' in others. For instance, I am rarely attracted to a woman who looks like a stereotypical model. I am more attracted to a woman who is bigger or beefier. That being said, I have been attracted to smaller women or a few model type women who had a great personality, and kindness, expression of compassion, humility on their faces. I find eyes and cheekbones very interesting in women. Why? I'm not sure! But, eyes are expression. Perrsonality is a huge deal, which is hard to gauge on the internet. Some women I would find attractive but I would not even remotely consider them as their personality is too rough or prideful, or selfish in their ways. We are all searching for a spouse, right? That is my opinion, anyway.
Hi Dee. That is a good question. I was attracted to a woman from your area, but in Centurion, and she is white, and never visited her profile. I mention this as in her profile she thought she was not attractive, or (hinted) at it in her profile blurb. I was head-over-heels attracted to her! But, she never knew that as she has never visited her CDFF or Mingles site where she was on. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. I was so shocked that this woman thought she was not beautiful! All I could see was God's beauty, kindness, compassion, a hint of sadness, uniqueness with her green eyes, and I melted for her like butter in a frying pan. Conclusion: Some people will think we are beautiful, some won't. Life goes on.
I follow Christ, so what I find attractive is a woman that follows Him too. Someone who spends time with Jesus starts to act and speak like Him (she is humble, loving, caring, sweet, intelligent and the countless other characteristics of the Holy Spirit).
When it comes to the physical what I can say is this, be the best YOU, you can be. Remember, you are beautiful to God.
If a person can lose a few pounds, why not lose them? Take care of your health, after all, your body is the temple of God and in case you have kids, don't you want to be healthy to take care of them, of course you do.
