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Author	Thread: Nine Essential Ingredients of a True Apology
Admin	Nine Essential Ingredients of a True Apology Posted : 13 Jun, 2020 11:24 AM 1. Does not include the word "but". 2. Keeps the focus on your actions and not the other person's response. 3. Includes an offer of reparation that fits the situation. 4. Does not overdo. 5. Doesn't get caught up in who's more to blame or who started it. 6. Requires that you do your best to avoid a repeat performance. 7. Should not serve to silence. 8. Shouldn't be offered to make you feel better if it risks making the other party feel worse. 9. Does not ask the hurt party to do anything, not even forgive. Dr. Harriet Lerner Author of Why Won't You Apologize? Post Reply
Quiznos View Profile History	Nine Essential Ingredients of a True Apology Posted : 23 Jun, 2020 05:27 PM Ivy, I NEVER apologize, i ask to be forgiven after taking responsibilty for my actions and or words. Apology the world says to do this. Post Reply
View Profile History	Nine Essential Ingredients of a True Apology Posted : 6 Jul, 2020 07:26 PM I disagree quiznos. Apologies are admitting you did wrong and taking responsibility for it, which is what we're supposed to do. Post Reply
View Profile History	Nine Essential Ingredients of a True Apology Posted : 6 Jul, 2020 07:34 PM I think only 3 things are needed: Remorse, Regret, Remedy. Remorse is understanding what we did is wrong. Regret is being sorry for the wrong we committed. Remedy is apologizing and fixing your mistake. Forgiveness is a free gift we receive when we fulfill the 3 Rs. If you don't think you did anything wrong, then you don't think you have anything to be forgiven so you won't take forgiveness. If you aren't sorry about what you did wrong, then you won't ask for forgiveness because you don't regret doing it. If you don't want to fix what you did wrong, then you won't take forgiveness because you refuse the responsibility of accepting the consequences of your actions. It's not enough to just say sorry. You must actually be sorry and WANT to fix things and do better next time. When you're wronged, especially really with really big wrongs, it takes longer to forgive because people need time to process the pain and start healing. This is helped when the wrong doer stops doing the wrong, admits their wrong to them, apologizes sincerely for it, and does reparation for it, whether stopping the wrong or fixing it or both. Anyone can say sorry, but that doesn't mean automatic forgiveness because if you say you're sorry and then go back to committing the wrong, you're not really sorry so you don't really want forgiveness. Post Reply

Quiznos View Profile History	Nine Essential Ingredients of a True Apology Posted : 23 Jul, 2020 03:14 AM Hey Purple, This is what the Messuah says. Luke 17 verses 3 - 4 3 Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” Your 3 r's are not mentioned, seems you have the worlds response. Post Reply
View Profile History	Nine Essential Ingredients of a True Apology Posted : 23 Jul, 2020 09:10 AM Very interesting that it only says that you must forgive only if there is repentance. I never noticed that before. People try to tell you that you must forgive unconditionally. But, it seems that is not what the Bible says. Post Reply
Quiznos View Profile History	Nine Essential Ingredients of a True Apology Posted : 23 Jul, 2020 06:57 PM Ivy, The term Brother in Luke 17, is this a believer or just another person. Post Reply