Author Thread: Being divorced, a special situation. (Warning tmi!!)
Tj1977^

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Being divorced, a special situation. (Warning tmi!!)
Posted : 2 Jul, 2020 08:12 PM

I do appoligize, but I am dying to know a answer. I have had a crazy life like most people but here's my catch? Years ago at my old church a big group of singles were getting married. I fell victim to peer pressure to get married to a girl i was really good friends with. So I asked her to marry me despite some signs. We were just friends nothing more litterly! So the two of us just up and getting married without any counseling or anything. Turns out she still wanted her independence and do her own thing i was just a room mate that slept in the same bed she always slept in jeans. I admit i was a jerk to her for it so she was a jerk back and all we did was fight. I did try to make it work for three years but failed. (All she wanted was her own home without me) So i guess what I am trying to ask is I'm still kinda a clean slate when it comes to romance and relationships eventho I'm divorced I'm still a virgin and have been single for so long I am one of the independent strong type I need nothing. Even my friends get mad I never ask for help. What do you all think?

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Tj1977^

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Being divorced, a special situation. (Warning tmi!!)
Posted : 6 Jul, 2020 10:33 AM

At the time the church I was at was booming! We had a youth and young adult groups were exploding and couples getting married and having kids. And peer pressure from part of the pastoral staff pressured us to get married because we were good friends. And before we were married and intmacy relationship stuff came up she played the old skool religon card "Save it till were married" card. Then after we were married she rewrote it "I married leave me alone don't touch me"

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Tj1977^

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Being divorced, a special situation. (Warning tmi!!)
Posted : 6 Jul, 2020 10:34 AM

At the time the church I was at was booming! We had a youth and young adult groups were exploding and couples getting married and having kids. And peer pressure from part of the pastoral staff pressured us to get married because we were good friends. And before we were married and intmacy relationship stuff came up she played the old skool religon card "Save it till were married" card. Then after we were married she rewrote it "I married leave me alone don't touch me"

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Tj1977^

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Being divorced, a special situation. (Warning tmi!!)
Posted : 6 Jul, 2020 10:34 AM

We were pushed in to marrage by peer pressure

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Moonlight7

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Being divorced, a special situation. (Warning tmi!!)
Posted : 6 Jul, 2020 11:29 AM

Couples who are married need to be sexually compatible.



Sometimes that takes Work, especially if they wait until marriage to have sexual activity.



Compatible in marriage is Very important.



I do believe that a Christian couple Should wait.



Some couples don't.

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Tj1977^

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Being divorced, a special situation. (Warning tmi!!)
Posted : 6 Jul, 2020 04:28 PM

Moonlight7 I tottaly agree! Beside it being biblical. But should it at least be talked about?

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Being divorced, a special situation. (Warning tmi!!)
Posted : 6 Jul, 2020 05:29 PM

Moonlight, how would you suggest going about ascertaining that you are sexually compatible with someone?

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LittleDavid

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Being divorced, a special situation. (Warning tmi!!)
Posted : 6 Jul, 2020 10:38 PM

Tj1977, do I understand correctly that you discussed with your lady friend about the possibility of committing fornication with her outside of marriage?

If I’ve misunderstood, I apologize but that’s what it sounds like when you said, to the effect, (not an exact quote) “she was old school and wanted to wait til marriage...”

If it’s true you wanted to commit fornication with your friend, that’s a serious sin and if you’ve never confessed that sinful intention to God or your friend, I would seriously doubt your salvation.

I’m not trying to rude but those are the biblical facts.

I encourage you to find a biblical church and get right with God first. Seek counsel from someone who is well acquainted with the Bible and truly loves God and you. Being proudly independent is not a spiritual virtue, we all need good sound biblical leadership. It doesn’t sound like you had access to Godly leadership where you attended. Very sorry for the predicament you walked into and for the tragic lack of spiritual guidance available to you.

Hopefully things will work out for you.

Maybe you can reconnect with the woman friend if she’s not already attached. But seek competent spiritual counsel first.

If you're not sure where to seek a true pastor, I would be more than happy to send you information about a possible pastor in your area. I know about a reliable and well qualified “Pastor of the Day” service that’s available by phone. I’ve used that service myself and found it very helpful.

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Tj1977^

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Being divorced, a special situation. (Warning tmi!!)
Posted : 7 Jul, 2020 11:03 AM

Iron sharpens Iron and a wise man embrases correction? Never apologize! How to be clean about this yes fornication is a sin so is lying. Hindsight is 20/20 thats why they don't make glasses to fit yer butt. What I'm trying to get at is ho big of a turn off being a devorced virgin is?

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fathersonholyspirit

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Being divorced, a special situation. (Warning tmi!!)
Posted : 9 Jul, 2020 01:06 AM

Im not sure what marriage means to you but it might be worth researching the the bible says what love is and what marriage is defined by God and the teachings in the bible.







Marriage is a life long commitment between a man and a woman, who is in love, and a love that has matured enough to sustain that life long commitment, through sickness and health till death do you part. In my church it is a sacrament, meaning it is bound and sealed by God. And no man or woman can separate the seal of God, as He is the witness during your marriage ceremony. You are promising to God this commitment and when you break that marriage you break that covenant with not just your ex-wife but with God. Jesus says he condemns the notion of divorce. He says the God in old times allowed for their ancestors being that God the Father felt sorry for them, but then Jesus affirms in the New Testament that each time one divorces or separates from their wife or husband they are committing adultery and breaching the commandment Law of God. Its not a question if you are a virgin or not or if you had sexual actions with your wife or not. Its a matter of moral consciousness, and potentially may considered be evaluation in your afterlife. The second is to know real love. Corinthians has a line that is a textbook Christian definition of Love. It is often read during weddings. I suggest read that verse. Also ask yourself if you tried to append the marriage by making sacrifices or recognize areas of compromise, looking for professional and spiritual help for marriage council before you divorced. The special circumstance is death aka widowed. Jesus also replies to others that marriage on earth and husbands on earth, assuming you had 3 widows, that once you reach heaven, Are you married to 3 ex wives or 3 ex husbands? The truth is that since everyone in heaven is united with Christ, everyone is like your brother and sister in Christ in heaven. Interestingly enough as many say WWJD. Jesus was never married in the human conventional way. Jesus never preformed sexual intercourse as God doesn't need a human to create life because God is already parent of all. In an apostle letter, we are urged how to love our wives and how to love our husbands....As Christ loves the church, As Christ loves us. That is the deepest unconditional love. Jesus urges us to love with purity, and to love with passion, and with commitment and promise and unselfishly kindly and without seeking ones own reward. Marriage is a vocation. It is not to be taken lightly and must be discerned upon. Meaning you need to put God into the equation, and you need to put all in when you say Yes at an alter before God. Or say No if you do not have the intention and full consent to an agreement with God. If you are looking to have multiple wives please refrain from this course and seek repentance immediately. Ultimately in the end Jesus will be your Lawyer, Friend, teacher, Judge, and bridge and door to Heaven, but He will respect your decisions to make your own choices in life. So remember marriage is not just a legal contract by the state, Its under Gods bounded domain.

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Tj1977^

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Being divorced, a special situation. (Warning tmi!!)
Posted : 9 Jul, 2020 09:06 AM

FatherSonHolySprit, I may not act or sound like it but your post I have been ripping myself apart over for the last 15 years. Because I didn't take marrage seriously enough and at the time I married out of peer pressure thinking I could make it all workout? Well it didn't. What am I suppost to do? I did the repent and move on as far as getting back together with her she never wanted to be married in the first place she just wanted a house and I was a patsy. So to make good on my marrage covent with God by the way your talking is to ask for her forgiveness take her house shopping, buy the house, and pay her bills, while I live on my own somplace else and not contact her?

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