Costly Expectations - What Have You Done for Me Lately?
Posted : 16 Feb, 2010 08:32 PM
Ok ladies, this is for us... but I'm sure the men will view this also. Again, went back into one of my books my Michelle Mckinney Hammond. This one "What to Do Until Love Finds You", she writes about costly expectations. This section called "What Have You done for Me Lately?" I extract from--
"What do you expect from the man in your life? He's not the only one who should gain from the relationship, you know. Partners should consider what they have to offer and what they stand to gain from a relationship - in that order. Christ laid down His life in order to gain us. This doesn't mean that you spill out all of those wonderful gifts in one overwhelming gush, nor does it mean you dole out generous heaps of wonderfulness on those who are not deserving...
God had decreed a list of responsibilities for men. They are responsible for their women spiritually and physically, to the point of being willing to lay down their lives? Once married, they are to care for their wives as if they were taking care of themselves. That means they should provide food and clothes, and take every precaution necessary to make sure she lives a safe and secure existence. But women's expectations, in light of present-day desperation, have been lowered and compromised.
Prospective husbands no longer have to court women, wine and dine them, or behave like gentlemen. Why? Because too many women are willing to fill in the blanks in the relationship themselves in order to have a man, all in the name of validation. It is a pathetic state of affairs. And yet many of these women still end up unfulfilled or repeatedly alone.... Remember, nothing won easily is appreciated for very long. When we have to pay a dear price for something or someone, we treasure it always."
I just wanted to share this because I can appreciate her words from my own life experience and having to evaluate again just who am I, what I really want, and consider my own expectations. Share, vent, express as you like.
Costly Expectations - What Have You Done for Me Lately?
Posted : 16 Feb, 2010 10:18 PM
Hello Miss Grace!!
Thank you for sharing! Your excerpt is exactly correct!! :applause:
Lately I have done a lot of self-reflection and have pondered some of these very things. In the past, I have thought the more independant I am, the better I will be to a future husband. But that didn't work out. I was one of those women that, inadvertently, emasculated men. I didn't know any better. Now that my eyes have been opened, I have focused more on what I need to do to someday be able to be a Biblical wife to a Biblical husband. The hard part is having to balance what has to be done to run a household as a single lady, with staying vulnerable and welcoming (not too independant) so I'll have room for a partner someday.
Costly Expectations - What Have You Done for Me Lately?
Posted : 16 Feb, 2010 10:23 PM
Hello Miss Grace!!
Thank you for sharing! Your excerpt is exactly correct!! :applause:
Lately I have done a lot of self-reflection and have pondered some of these very things. In the past, I have thought the more independant I am, the better I will be to a future husband. But that didn't work out. I was one of those women that, inadvertently, emasculated men. I didn't know any better. Now that my eyes have been opened, I have focused more on what I need to do to someday be able to be a Biblical wife to a Biblical husband. The hard part is having to balance what has to be done to run a household as a single lady, with staying vulnerable and welcoming (not too independant) so I'll have room for a partner someday.
Costly Expectations - What Have You Done for Me Lately?
Posted : 17 Feb, 2010 06:56 AM
browneyedgirlky:
pretty keen of you. proud of your progress.
some self reflection i've been doing is 'why do i not want to be single in the first place?' there've been some interesting honest reasons, and i'm glad to say that as time's gone by they've gotten better.
recommend anybody think about that, if they haven't already.
Costly Expectations - What Have You Done for Me Lately?
Posted : 17 Feb, 2010 08:21 PM
GraceMae That was so nice. Wow you wrote on my post but yours was awesome. I recently experienced something just like she said. Something easily gained I did not value very long and someone did the same to me I gave my heart up quickly to eventually get given back. I am learning to move much more slowly. We men really do want to give everything to our women. Well i do.
Costly Expectations - What Have You Done for Me Lately?
Posted : 18 Feb, 2010 05:18 AM
We do are children an injustice by "giving" them anything they wish for...without showing them the "value" of that "thing". When they are given something with little or no effort on their part...that is the value they "place" on that thing.
God created Man from dust. He created Woman from Man's side (from flesh...that explains a lot). He created her as an equal...to be at his side.
All Life comes from woman. Yes...we men are a necessary part of that equation but it is from women that Life emerges from. You are a Prize...the Rarest of Jewels.
Never bend...never stoop...never lower yourself in order to meet some man's lowered expectation's. BrownEyed... If you are Independent...stay that way. It may "narrow" the field, but there are men who are strong enough to appreciate an independent woman and you will not have to "be" someone that you are not. Be true to yourself!
Women need to...no They HAVE to be Courted. It is only through courting that a man's character and intentions are made known. Just as a Doctor will "stress" your Heart in order to display any potential problems...so too will courting "stress" a relationship and devulge any potential problems.
Ladies...watch how that man reacts to things while dating. Chances are very good that is the way he will "react" once the "honeymoon" is over.
Make him "work" Girls! See how he reacts to frustration? Is he a man of his word?
Work him...check his "grit". Don't "play" or "toy" with him, but do not hand over the "Keys to the store"...that is asking for trouble.
Remember -- "You can lead a horse to water...but Chocolate doesn't grow on trees!"
"Wait a minute...Chocolate dose grow on trees...or dose it?"
