Such a very unique and interesting topic Blonde. Well written and it has full of message.
Flirting is branded indeed as a negative way of showing interest either to a man or woman. A word so disgusting applied for whosoever doing it.
I agree to David saying � Flirting is like sex, in that it�s great when enjoyed within the bounds of marriage�but when taken out of that context it has the potential to lead to some very bad circumstances and lots of heartache!� may I add? shame. indeed it�s true. Who are you flirting at and why flirt is a question. Many are gone wild interpreting this word. Some became insane too of what could possibly a new and better strategy to hook men? �or, let us make it simple like us. A lot are even creating �for cause a movements� to start suggesting it is okay. I mean no offence like a movement of �its okay to wear nothing at least for a day,� while enjoying a train ride? �Like celebrating Independence day?! I agree we are born naked, but haven�t they considered too that they are creating another movement of �lust for free or rape is okay? Is this a new level of awareness that we should buy as it became free in the market?
Note to all. This is a Christian dating site. Yes! Most of us are looking for relationship (whatever you call it) that is why we are here. It say CHRIST + ian. Put not any shame to Christ. If somehow, we did it in the past then, it�s time to be renewed. Start today.
You have a lot of researches there and I agree most are evident now. You might agree or disagree and can even say I am not realistic somehow. But you probably were missing something. Marriage is a union and we all know that. It is just sad that most are getting married by lacking perspectives out of it and yes indeed later on, resulted to divorce or separation. And yes I must admit, I am one of those who got separated from my husband. Though we have different stories or reasons of whys and hows, �a lot of it� but still the bottom line is - couple separate ways.
Again may I say this again marriage is union. A union that not only of body, property, task, mind, and everything are put together as one. but we also all know, it doesn�t stop there. As quoted in your post, elaborating qualities, I agree both have responsibilities. It is just sad that responsibilities are taking individually and not as one, setting boundaries as �men should do this� and �women this�. But of course no one will ever agree with me if I say �men should do birthing too� right?
You ended your post �So remind me, why would a man marry today? And, No, really. What�s in it for him?�
This is not a reminder though but a question to all men too. Why marry and why look to what is it in there? Have you deeply consider that women are seeking same questions to?
I am separated. With 2 kids and after such separation, what is left in me are all the responsibilities being a dad and mom, and on the issue of becoming a man still to my children? So, if I will be allowed to go back from being single anticipating this hardship. I think I should consider too not marrying at all. And, I am not bringing this topic as to be favored by custodial act. I received nothing even a single cent and not filed any for support. You may call it on a contrary as pride. Maybe some may think I got high salary or business running to. Here�s what, not at all�just a teacher who works on private schools whose contract expires every six months.
I think it�s not about responsibilities sir or even an obligations. It is sharing, support, and acknowledgement. Serving one another not in thought of what will I gain out of this but I do this because I am happy doing this. Thus the affection is genuine not a burden. Colossians 3:14 as quoted �And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."
A speaker once i heard it is not even complimentary but supplementary.
From Proverbs 31: 11-30 it enumerated the qualities of a good woman being a wife. 20 beautiful verses but suggest thousands of tasks. For a woman without a lot of strength to do all of these, how men will imagine her? Truly�her beauty shall fade.
Prov 31: 23 � her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land�. What this mean today? Is it literally sitting in the office and yes making money for the family? Is this all about it? Thus, Ephesians 5:25 also says "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and GAVE HIMSELF up for her..." How men love women when most of his priority/time is� work, his pleasure, sport, friends, or his treasure or just being he? Let me not be bias though that woman does the same thing too living in this modern world, setting mountains of standards and rights as you mentioned "feminist" (no one is exempted men, women, single or not)
Ponder with this story too.
There was a couple who claimed they love each. The man has a good work and a very good provider to the family.A wife so supportive to his husband and takes care of the children so well. The husband is an accounting manager. At the office with a lot of works and pressures, running the department as well, he brings his works at home. Good thing the wife knows stuff being an accounting graduate and helps his husband often. In return, whatever the wife asks, shopping, vacation, money, the husband provides so well. It seems so perfect. One time the husband asked the wife, why spends so much? Agitated, the wife responded, �haven�t I working hard? Cutting the story, soon they separate ways.
So what went wrong? Is it being a good provider? is it the wife being greedy? Is it the husband often brings his work at home? Is it about exhaustion?
No! Is it allowing it all to happen. Then, Who�s to blame then?
I saw an article lately too with a title �I will not love again� curious.. so, I start reading it. To my surprise, my heart melts when the writer elaborated the experience (not sure if the writer is man or a woman, stating anonymous) I can�t recall everything but here�s it suggest. Love is so pure and divine just to be corrupted by lust, jealousy, despair, selfishness, etc., and curious still, when righteousness is a part. (Being guided so well by the word of God as they claim, untouchable by sin) at the end the writer suggested to stop loving when you are just turning it to hate.
Reminder to all, not excluding me�Marry for right reasons and not of issues.
Probably� we can all definitely answer the question What�s in it for him or her� all by ourselves.
Good to know that you're planning your life. I agree with you no plans - mission failed! But dear let me advance a little and say this. Don't include love as ur plan...plan how to manage ur ways to love. It is sharing of life. if you find it as a destruction on your part then it is simple as you are not ready to it. Ask your self. what matter most to you now? It is hard to face it though coz if you go as you plan you might lose him right? and that scares you, ur fear grows and soon maybe ...unknowingly... ur in the middle of destruction already.
Your hoping that he may be able to read your post...Honestly? if you are he...what will be your thoughts upon reading the message? how will you feel?
Taking the scenario... if i am that guy, upon reading it, yes i will feel good, coz you do love me too. but the thing is, I am not there yet in your plans. You're making my heart red but tearing it apart.
Talk to him... if you do love him too. include him in your plans.and if, your not ready now, set a time table...still a plan right?
Sorry to ask this but have you asked her whom to take side? I know that, that is a horrible story for you, but i think it is also horrible to her. Having two different people who is both dear to you is devastating. weighing things especially in the emotional area is such a baggage. Letting her go is a good idea, to her think and decide too whom to be with. on the other hand I think you should help her and don't let her hang in there. Wrong as we may think of it but she needs help. bad for you to considered it in knowing her but you know what? Her experience with you maybe one of the treasured thing in her...i don't know how you make ur days, but i imagine ur simple laughs, simple care will remain in her hearts. Don't feel being used, feel that someone in those days became happy. Hold not grudges...
I am glad anyway that you had forgiven her.
Next time - hold this simple verse from revelation.. "Guard your heart with full diligence for there flows the issues of life.
The two of you has its own point. But i agree that you must weigh things not just once, as blonde added "repeatedly". Just like you sir, i also have repeated dreams, there was a time that i couldn't believe that it seems so real. Well, i really don't know what the answer, only that, we should learn to distinguished dreams from reality "on our own to unlock its mystery" coz sometimes the very answer is with in us all along. we just dream about it repeatedly maybe for the reason that for a long time it lives with us, and some specification maybe, just maybe an add-up.
But then, this is my opinion - pay attention to your needs, what do you really want, the needs that need to be addressed in you. The way I see it is your emptiness. we may admit or not but it consumes us, and through the years we thought its ok... to be alone and just doing fine. Detail by detail sir, lake a look of your emotional, physical, mental, social and spiritual needs. No need to really be specific. It might be deceiving. Coz for me sir, Asian or not, as long as if that person loves me without questions ask, accept and mold me as person....and i feel the same way too... I'll go with him.
you just need to be ready...you as an individual to take risk. The answers are all upon you. Just ask guidance, never lose hope and be not be dismayed in faith. the right one shall come...just be right then for her.
