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dance2cedm View Profile	Symphonic Metal Posted : 23 May, 2023 12:14 AM I have albums by Hb, Within Temptation, and Nigthwish, though I haven't listened to them since the '00s. They do have a majestic, intense sound.
dance2cedm View Profile	What are your favorite christian music artists and bands? Posted : 23 May, 2023 12:11 AM Miss Angie, Abigail Duhon, V. Rose, Andy Hunter, DJ Flubbel, DJ Jireh, Regenerator, Ameon, Reyer, The Echoing Green, Charmaine, Tal & Acacia....
dance2cedm View Profile	Single vs. Divorced / Widowed - a New Perspective Posted : 22 May, 2023 10:39 PM Wow, NarnianGirl, your story is heartbreaking. It doesn't make sense to me...as I read it, I have the same questions as you. I mean, I've heard of people being afraid to date never-marrieds ("what's wrong with them that they've never been married?"), but I've never heard of church people treating never-marrieds with such a contrasting difference from divorcees -- unless it was the other way around, where the divorcees are looked down upon. I hope you can find a supportive Christian circle that is caring and sensitive to your struggles.
dance2cedm View Profile	"Any Age"? Posted : 22 May, 2023 10:30 PM I have mine set to "Any Age" because I don't have any arbitrary limits. Chronological age doesn't necessarily correspond with how young or old they seem. But by doing leaving my age range undefined, I certainly would not criticize someone who contacted me because of their age -- that would not be the right thing to do if I said "any age."
dance2cedm View Profile	Should the Church have single events? Posted : 16 Mar, 2022 02:48 AM In the past churches often had singles groups for over 25 (under 25, they still do), but such groups vanished. From what I understand, many churches felt like it became like a meat market and wasn't serving the purposes of the church. It wouldn't be so bad if everything else wasn't so divided by demographic. For example, small groups tend to be limited to married couples, married couples with young children, men, women, youth, 18-25. Your only choice as a single over 25 is a group with all people your own gender. Even if there are groups open to anyone, a small group is typically so small your odds of meeting someone you'd be interested in -- especially after you eliminate the married people -- are close to zero. I understand churches' reticence to have singles outings for the plus-25 crowd, but they need to try harder. I'm sure there are things you can do without it becoming a meat market.

dance2cedm View Profile	Any NF, Demon Hunter, FFaK, or TFK fans ? Posted : 23 Jul, 2021 01:28 AM Last year, I bought NF's album "The Search." I liked it musically okay, but I couldn't relate to the lyrics. I have Demon Hunter's album "Summer Of Darkness," which I really like. I also have "The Triptych" but never got into that one. I definitely like Project 86 -- I have a number of their albums, my most recent being "Sheep Among Wolves." I have greatly liked every Project 86 album I have.
dance2cedm View Profile	Have you ever been ghosted, or has ghosted someone? Posted : 23 Sep, 2020 04:51 AM Regarding #2: Back in the '80s, I had been dating a girl for six weeks when she disappeared. We worked at the same place and she disappeared from her job, too. Once, I finally called her on the phone; she said she was eating with her family and would call me back, but she never did. A few months later I went to her house to return a book that I had borrowed while we were dating. She invited me in and we talked for awhile. I never asked why she left. I figured if she had wanted to tell me, she would have. I never saw her again. I guess that's the way I look at dating situations online -- if someone doesn't want to tell me why they no longer want to interact, I'm okay with that. Yes, I may wonder, "Was it something I said?" but mostly I figure they just realized they weren't feeling the connection but had no words to say so.
dance2cedm View Profile	Can We Respect Women, Please? A New Look at the Church's View on Lust Posted : 9 Aug, 2020 09:59 PM This article mentions the book Every Man's Battle and the "bounce your eyes" concept. I read the book years ago and had a similar reaction as this author -- what a terrible mindset! As this author describes, such a mindset -- all too common in Modesty Culture -- sees women only as sexual objects. So much in Purity Culture is like this, where there are those who even say two married people unmarried to each other should never be in a car alone together, even to ride to work or church together. The underlying assumption of that is that all male/female interactions are inherently sexual, thus reducing others from full humans to sexual objects. Modestly Culture also makes men out to be helpless lustful pigs, so helplessly lustful that women must be the guardians of the lust of men. As this article points out, such an attitude is harmful to women, making them feel ashamed about their God-given bodies. I like this from the article's author: "I don’t recall Jesus saying 'If your right eye causes you to sin, make sure that everything in your environment is adjusted so that nothing that would make you stumble comes into view.' He clearly puts the onus on the one looking rather than the one being looked at, yet strangely that is hardly ever talked about in churches."
dance2cedm View Profile	The Truth About Modesty Culture, And How It Affects Men and Women Posted : 9 Aug, 2020 09:40 PM CountryIvy, this is an EXCELLENT article and goes along with a passion of mine, to dismantle such harmful messages being promulgated in the church. Modesty Culture goes against the psychological concept of healthy boundaries in relationships: In a healthy relationship, you are not responsible for other people's feelings. Unhealthy boundary: "You made me angry!" Healthy boundary: "I feel angry by what you did!" Similarly, it is unhealthy to make women responsible for men's lust; men are responsible for controlling their own lust. This article gives excellent examples of how harmful it is to expect women to be responsible for someone else's lust. I also like that it pointed out the verse in Matthew that is so often misquoted. There is a difference between looking at a woman and enjoying the artistry of God, and looking at a woman and drooling with something like, "Oh man, I'd love to have my hands all over her body." The latter is lust, the former is not. Purity culture has made men feel guilty for having God-given reactions of delight at the beauty of women when no lust is present.
dance2cedm View Profile	From the woman's side Posted : 9 Aug, 2020 09:12 PM Others here have already mentioned the ways you can let someone know of your interest -- wink, message, add to favorites. Everyone has their preferences and what each action means to them. Here are mine. I rarely respond to a message where someone just writes "hi," especially because for so long I specifically stated on my profile that I was looking for messages that were more than a few words. I eventually removed it because it was clear that the people who were just writing "hi" weren't reading my profile anyway. If someone writes to me, I want to have some evidence that they've actually read my profile so that I know that their interest in me is genuine. Even if it's a one-sentence message that reveals there's something I wrote that interests them, that's a good way to start a conversation. I never send winks. I know some women are shy about making the first move (or perhaps even against it), so I may check out their profile if I think there's a possibility I may be interested. I mostly use Favorites for times when I'm browsing and see someone I want to consider but don't have time at the moment. If I still like them after I later read their profile, I'll leave them in Favorites; otherwise I remove them. Another way I use Favorites is for women who have settings that prevent me from writing to them, hoping they'll see that they're on my Favorites and at least be curious enough to check out my profile. For example, I've noticed women whose acceptable age settings are all younger than their current age, so I'm guessing they haven't adjusted their settings as they've gotten older (if they're even on the site anymore). It seems, though, that sometimes CDFF won't even let me add them to my Favorites if I'm not completely within their settings.

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