Christian Forums | CDFF Discussion Forum - CDFF | Online Community of Single Christians

Author	Thread
PastTheEdges View Profile	I'd looooove to know why ( an experience that continues to baffle) Posted : 9 Jan, 2018 12:36 PM P.S. To answer your question, he would Skype you and message you because he thinks you are pretty and because you are kind to him and he wants more of that. This kinda dove tails off of what Keith had to say.
PastTheEdges View Profile	I'd looooove to know why ( an experience that continues to baffle) Posted : 9 Jan, 2018 12:31 PM Your last comment had me ROTFLOL! Keep the faith Sister. God is preparing a man for you and you for him. In the meantime, we win some, we learn some. Don't give in to anything any man (or anyone else) is pressuring you to do. At that moment his interests are self-centered and self-serving. Do something either because you want to do it or because the Holy Spirit leads you to do it. No decision made in love is compulsory, it is free. God bless
PastTheEdges View Profile	Not exactly a dating story, but my experiences on this site to date... Posted : 9 Jan, 2018 12:18 PM Hi Keith. I'm probably not the kind of person you were hoping to hear from as a first response to your post. I'm a guy, after all, and I know you'd like to hear from the ladies. I sincerely hope you do and they are able to offer you God inspired insight and encouragement. The first thing I'd like to say is that I enjoy reading your posts whether you are posing a question or posting a comment on someone else's query. The impression I get from reading them is that you are an intelligent person of integrity with a good sense of humor who has no trouble speaking his mind and saying precisely what he means to say. Also, as one Christian brother who is secure in his manhood to another I have no trouble saying I think you are ruggedly handsome. You are also clearly (and understandably) frustrated concerning the seemingly disproportionate difference between how much effort you have invested in meeting a Christian woman and the comparatively small return on your investment. For what it's worth, I'd like to offer a couple of suggestions. First, I'd like to encourage you to read some of your posts, but try to do it from the perspective of someone looking to meet a Christian man with the hopes of starting a relationship and eventually marriage. Try to identify the statements that draw you in and keep them. Then try to identify the statements about "Christian Women" that as a Christian Woman(Not a perfect woman) you might find offensive or repulsive and consider how you might restate what you mean to say in a way that they would be more receptive (or consider if it is even necessary to say by asking yourself, "What good do I hope to accomplish by sharing this be it encouragement by building up or correction by compassionately showing them how something holds them back or takes them away from God?"). Honesty and speaking the truth are premium qualities in a Christian man. I'm not asking you to be untrue to who you are as a unique and masterfully made portrait of God using words that just aren't a representation of who you are. I'm asking you to find your words(inspired by the Holy Spirit who knows you and can express them in your style) that allow you to speak the truth in love. My only other suggestion is that you offer more pictures in which you smile. You have like five pictures in your profile and you only approach a smile in one of them. I think you're on the right site. Ladies, help me out here. Throw a Brother a life line You know better than any of us what you're looking for and God knows better than all of us what we really need.
PastTheEdges View Profile	How should love in a marriage really work? Posted : 8 Jan, 2018 03:08 PM P.S. Short answer to: How should love in a marriage really work? Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind soul and strength. It is equally important to Love your spouse as yourself because you and your spouse are made in the very image of God--male and female He made you. All the laws are summed up in those two commands and they apply perfectly to marriage. If you do those two things, you will honor God and one another and not dishonor God or one another.

PastTheEdges View Profile	How should love in a marriage really work? Posted : 8 Jan, 2018 02:58 PM You've received a lot of good advice. For what it's worth, I'd like to add a little more. Sometimes it's easy to forget that a Biblical Marriage takes three people and we have to allow all of them to be active participants and appreciate what each one brings to it--the husband, the wife and God. The others have already offered good insight concerning not being unequally yoked--that's straight out of God's word. Also, they've spoken of the merits of having a list of qualities you seek in a potential life partner, perhaps not fully developed, but showing promise to develop with nurturing love. One thing more I'd like to add is that you don't fall into the trap of believing that person will complete you. You (any of us) are made complete in Christ. Our Heavenly Father knows not only our earthly needs(as individuals) and is faithful to provide them, He also knows our Spiritual needs(as individuals) and is faithful to provide them also. So when we confess our sins, proclaim that Jesus is the Son of God and accept the gift of salvation He offers and submit to his Lordship over our lives, God will perfect us as we run the race and we can begin to learn what a loving relationship is and how beautiful it can be and what is so wonderful about it. We don't Need anything more (even though we desire more). But then He does something amazing--He offers us more! He offers to enter into a covenant with a man and a woman and to show them how with his power, love, grace and mercy and so much more of who He is and with the promise(choice) of the man and the woman to Love one another and forsake all others(even the others that are more attractive, more desirable, that have more in common with you, that appear to be more spiritual than your betrothed, that are more...fill in the blank), He will bless them and show them a kind of loving relationship they couldn't imagine. We live in a fallen world. He knows that. We all have a sin(flesh) nature. He knows that. We sin. Love covers a multitude of sins! We come up short. His Grace is sufficient! We are still tempted by sin, but we are not longer bound by sin or under the penalty of death! Sometimes we lose our way and we just can't see any way forward together. He Is the way and He is always with us thanks to the gracious gift of the indwelling Holy Spirit! If you'll allow me to redeem a line from an old Leonard Cohen song, "If your life is leaf that the seasons tear off and condemn, He will bind you with Love that is graceful and green as a stem." Too often we forget that God is not only part of the marriage relationship, but we don't understand that He is the most important and most powerful participant in it. But if we don't practice the presence of God(consciously recognize Him and engage with Him in the relationship) we cut ourselves and one another off from much of what He has to give to the marriage. I'm sorry to say I didn't fully understand that 'til after two marriages. I sincerely hope you are able to benefit from God's contributions to your marriage when it happens. God bless you and keep you well in his hands.
PastTheEdges View Profile	What does masculinity mean to you? Femininity? Posted : 6 Jan, 2018 05:08 PM DaughterofKingJesus, very much enjoyed your post! Truly delightful
PastTheEdges View Profile	It matters what we listen to Posted : 14 Sep, 2017 06:47 AM I hear what you're saying, brother, and while I agree that the risk is there for music to shape minds in such a way as to lead people away from God, I believe that like so many other subjects God can use all things not only for the good of his people, but also to connect with those who don't know Him. If it causes a brother/sister to stumble then leave it. But if it can be used as it is or redeemed for a service that honors God and becomes instrumental(pardon the pun) to leading someone to Christ, well, Amen! I was steeped in Pop/Rock/Metal and enjoyed a few other genres growing up and that had a part in my being far from God and embedded in the world. Eventually, I gave my life to Christ and over the years as the Spirit led me I had to make some choices about what was not good for me to hold on to and to let them go. But eventually, I was able to listen to some of those songs with a new mind and discovered two neat things. First, since so many people enjoy popular music(I know, it's redundant, but bare with me), it provides common ground--a place I can meet with non-believers so we can start building a relationship of mutual honor and respect. Then, when the opportunity comes for me to share Christ with them, they know I'm not just trying to "sell them something even if it's free." They're more likely to listen because they know I really care about them. The other neat thing I discovered is what happens when I can find a secular song I loved so much growing up that I can rededicate or redeem for the glory of God and the good of his people. Concerning secular music, I was most influenced my 80s Pop/rock/metal/old school rap(before Gangsta Rap). So for one example, if you like those genres as well, consider the song I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner. One day during a time in my life when I was seeking a deeper level of love with God and with people and wanted to know what it looked like, this song came on. I was inspired to rededicate the song--not change any of the words really, just the audience. Instead of "I want you to show me", "you" being the earthly object of my affection in mind and heart, I began singing "I want You to show me!", "You" being Jesus in my mind and heart. When I sang that song to Him with the same passion that I had sung it so many years ago, the experience was over the top! Didn't have to change one word, just the audience. Now, if I meet that special someone and I dedicate that song to them, it will come with a whole new level of meaning . Something like Leonard Cohen's Sisters of Mercy takes a bit more work, but the idea is the same. Instead of "The Sisters of Mercy they have not departed or gone..." I can sing, "The Lord shows me mercy. He has not departed or gone. He was waiting for me when I thought that I just can't go on. And He brought me his comfort and later He brought me this song. How I hope you run into Him, you who've been traveling so long. Yes you who must leave everything that you can not control. It begins with your family, but soon it comes 'round to your soul. Well, I've been where you're hanging and I think I can see how you're pinned. When you're not feeling holy your loneliness says that you've sinned. He stays right beside me. I make my confessions to Him. He healed both my eyes, and I touched the jewel on his hem. If your life is a leaf that the seasons tear off and condemn, He will bind you with love that is graceful and green as a stem..." Redeeming the last verse of the song would require the gifts and skills of someone with more talent than I have, but you get the idea. Great topic, brother! Thanks so much for sharing! God bless you !
PastTheEdges View Profile	It matters what we listen to Posted : 14 Sep, 2017 06:42 AM I hear what you're saying, brother, and while I agree that the risk is there for music to shape minds in such a way as to lead people away from God, I believe that like so many other subjects God can use all things not only for the good of his people, but also to connect with those who don't know Him. If it causes a brother/sister to stumble then leave it. But if it can be used as it is or redeemed for a service that honors God and becomes instrumental(pardon the pun) to leading someone to Christ, well, Amen! I was steeped in Pop/Rock/Metal and enjoyed a few other genres growing up and that had a part in my being far from God and embedded in the world. Eventually, I gave my life to Christ and over the years as the Spirit led me I had to make some choices about what was not good for me to hold on to and to let them go. But eventually, I was able to listen to some of those songs with a new mind and discovered two neat things. First, since so many people enjoy popular music(I know, it's redundant, but bare with me), it provides common ground--a place I can meet with non-believers so we can start building a relationship of mutual honor and respect. Then, when the opportunity comes for me to share Christ with them, they know I'm not just trying to "sell them something even if it's free." They're more likely to listen because they know I really care about them. The other neat thing I discovered is what happens when I can find a secular song I loved so much growing up that I can rededicate or redeem for the glory of God and the good of his people. Concerning secular music, I was most influenced my 80s Pop/rock/metal/old school rap(before Gangsta Rap). So for one example, if you like those genres as well, consider the song I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner. One day during a time in my life when I was seeking a deeper level of love with God and with people and wanted to know what it looked like, this song came on. I was inspired to rededicate the song--not change any of the words really, just the audience. Instead of "I want you to show me", "you" being the earthly object of my affection in mind and heart, I began singing "I want You to show me!", "You" being Jesus in my mind and heart. When I sang that song to Him with the same passion that I had sung it so many years ago, the experience was over the top! Didn't have to change one word, just the audience. Now, if I meet that special someone and I dedicate that song to them, it will come with a whole new level of meaning . Something like Leonard Cohen's Sisters of Mercy takes a bit more work, but the idea is the same. Instead of "The Sisters of Mercy they have not departed or gone..." I can sing, "The Lord shows me mercy. He has not departed or gone. He was waiting for me when I thought that I just can't go on. And He brought me his comfort and later He brought me this song. How I hope you run into Him, you who've been traveling so long. Yes you who must leave everything that you can not control. It begins with your family, but soon it comes 'round to your soul. Well, I've been where you're hanging and I think I can see how you're pinned. When you're not feeling holy your loneliness says that you've sinned. He stays right beside me. I make my confessions to Him. He healed both my eyes, and I touched the jewel on his hem. If your life is a leaf that the seasons tear off and condemn, He will bind you with love that is graceful and green as a stem..." Redeeming the last verse of the song would require the gifts and skills of someone with more talent than I have, but you get the idea. Great topic, brother! Thanks so much for sharing! God bless you !
PastTheEdges View Profile	It matters what we listen to Posted : 14 Sep, 2017 05:54 AM Good analysis and insight, brother!