r u athletic & spiritually mature?

Male | 52
United States
North Carolina
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Body Type
Hair Color
Looking For
A Marriage Partner
Church Name
OPC, ARP denominations
Church Attendance
Every week
Church Raised In
Do you drink?
Willing to relocate?
Possibly, who knows
Marital Status
Do you have children?
Do you want children?
Education Level
4 Yr College Degree
My Profession
h.s. math teacher
volleyball, math, coaching, sports, apologetics, ping-pong, pool, pickleball, non-fiction Christian reading, discussing theology
About Me
I've been a christian since early high school. I grew significantly in doctrine and apologetics in college while getting invovled with Campus Crusade for Christ. I've read many books on theology, Christian marriage, the cults, and creationism. You can ask me about them and I'll send you a good list and emails which are detailed summaries of many of these books. This is my online ministry for the past 10+ years. I'm always trying to help others grow in their sanctification process and better prepare themselves to be a godly wife and mother some day and thus more desirable to Christian men for marriage. If interested, just ask for these emails

ONE Christian book that all singles should read on marriage is:
HIS NEEDS, HER NEEDS, by Willard Harley, Jr. This book will distinguish the main differences between men and women and how important it is to satisfy these needs in the other if you want to keep your spouse from cheating on you. Much of it is up to you and your mentality to please the other. About 1/2 of all Christian spouses cheat on the other because they fail to satisfy one or more of the top 5 needs in their spouse, which this books describes with examples of how failing to fulfill them led to an affair in at least one Christian couple. If you would like a detailed summary of this book, just ask for it and send me one of your email addresses. I want all Christians to have a good, lasting marriage. Find out these key areas and discuss them with any potential spouse fairly early on to see if you would like to fulfill his/her needs as he/she needs them for life or not. Otherwise you are setting your marriage up for failure or heartache. Save your marriage before it starts. I also have an email that has many pre-engagement questions, so that you KNOW who you are considering marrying before saying I do. Studies show that most couples don't really know each other prior to marriage, because they don't ask the important questions.

The best book I've read on the meaning of marriage and the theology behind it is: This Momentary Marriage, by John Piper (highly recommended). Another, highly practical one on differences between men and women, and how to affair proof your marriage, is: His Needs, Her Needs, by Willard Harley, Jr. (THIS IS A MUST READ).

You need to believe the following to be a Christian:

The Triune Godhead created everything and that the Triune God has existed for all eternity. He is one God in three persons. There are no other true Gods or gods other than the triune God (Isa 43:10-11). Adam was the first created human and Eve was created from him and for him. Adam sinned as our representative head of the whole human race and that put all humans out of relationship with the Triune God (Romans 5:12-19). This means all were/are spiritually DEAD (Eph 2:1-3). Jesus, the second person of the trinity had to take on flesh and become human in order to complete what Adam failed to do (Phil 2:5-11), which was live a perfect life to make it to heaven for himself and that God the father would give him (John 6:39-45). Jesus came and lived that perfect life for the elect and took on all their sins which deserved eternal punishment (HELL) (romans 3:23), and then rose from the grave on the third day (1 Cor 15). So, now you must also believe in Heaven and Hell; there is not one without the other. You also must believe that Jesus is God and was born by the Holy Spirit (the third person of the Godhead) of the Virgin Mary. He had to be born of the Holy Spirit or else he would have sin on his account through Adam's sin as all the rest of mankind did (romans 5:12-19). If he was not born of the Holy Spirit, he is not sinless and could not satisfy God's law on the elect's behalf. The Holy Spirit then makes the elect born again (spiritually alive from the dead...John 3:1-7, Eph 2:1-5) so that they may be granted eternal life by repentance (Acts 11:18), death and resurrection of the 2nd person of the trinity, Jesus, who lived the perfect life as God requires of everyone (Matt 5:48) and paid the penalty (eternal punishment) by dying on the cross as the sinless God/man. Only God, an eternal being, could purchase the sins of any other human, no man could...which is why Jesus is the ONLY way to the Father, to eternal life (John 14:6). If you do not have this Jesus of the Bible, as there are false Jesus' and false Christs (Matt 24:24), then you will end up in eternal Hell with your father, Satan (John 8:42-48).
Jesus is the way, the truth, and is the life. Apart from a personal relationship with the triune God, you have no spiritual truth, you don't know the way to heaven, and you are spiritually dead. These are the exact opposite of what you just read for those who do have Jesus as their mediator between God and man, by the power of the Holy Spirit (Heb 9:15 and 1 Cor 12:3).

There is absolute moral truth; it is not relative. God is the only truth and we learn about this truth by the power of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 2:14-15) through God's word, the Bible (2 Tim 3:16; Heb 4:12-13; 1 Pet 3:15; 2 Tim 2:25). Jesus will return and there will be a resurrection of the dead, either to eternal life with the Triune God or to eternal Hell with Satan and his demons (Matt 25:31-46)

Here are ways to know that you have the wrong gospel and will end up in Hell if you continue to believe any of the following common heresies (wrong doctrines about God (Titus 1:9) and salvation:
1. There is more than one God/god anywhere.
2. If you believe that God the Son was created (not eternal as God the Father and God the Holy Spirit. You would be denying the Triune Godhead.
3. If you believe that there is only one person who changes between God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit (called Modalism).
4. If you don't believe Jesus was sinless.
5. If you believe that you must be baptized in order to be saved.
6. If you believe that you are a "good person" on your own.
7. If you believe you have done more good than bad in this life.
8. If you believe that there is any other way to the Father, such as other faiths or religions.
9. If you don't believe the Bible is the inerrant Word of God, meaning that you don't think God is strong enough to keep His Word alive for the rest of the world (1 Pet 1:24-25).
10. If you don't believe in the miracles of the Bible.
11. If you don't believe that God is Sovereign and Providential, meaning that He controls/ordains all things that come to pass and nothing is out of His control. (Prov 16:4,9; Eph 1:11; Romans 11:36).
12. If you don't think you need to go to a christian church regularly (weekly) and are able to make it to one (Heb 10:24-25).
13. If you believe you must do anything extra beyond believing in Christ's work on your behalf for salvation. You will do good works as a result of being granted repentance and faith that God prepared in advance for you to do, but these do not help in your justifcation (being made perfect through Christ's imputation to you and your imputation of your sins to Christ). Eph 2:8-10.
14. If you believe you can become a perfect human being this side of heaven. This is different than being considered 'righteous,' which all believers are because of Christ's life, death and resurrection on the their behalf.
15. If you believe premarital sex is OK for Christians.
16. If you believe it is OK to live together before marriage.
17. If you believe it is OK to get drunk, or destroy your body in other ways. Tattoos are not okay, either, but won't keep you out of God's Kingdom.
18. If you believe you need a priest to lead you, or to confess your sins to. Jesus is the final priest in the order of Melchizadek. We confess directly to Jesus, not another priest. We don't need priests like the O.T. needed to point to the final sacrifice, Jesus himself.
You should not be in a church that has a priest as its leader.
19. If your church teaches that it is the only true denomination, then it is a cult.

I'm only interested in a woman (for a spouse) who has lived a fairly disciplined life and is athletic (petite/slender), college educated, frugal, debt-free, never smoked, no tattoos, never done drugs, preferably never been drunk, no piercings besides the ears, never did any MAJOR rebelling in other words. She is a virgin, no kids, no STD's. I've lived a disciplined life in comparison to most and have always thought since junior high "If I want these qualities in a spouse, then I have to keep them myself or have the corresponding male qualities" I'm looking for a similar athletic, spiritually mature person of God. This mentality has kept me from getting involved in the MAJOR worldly sins that end up having lasting effects in any relationship, marriage, and a potential spouse desiring you or not based on your past, chosen lifestyle.

I know that puts this great, godly woman within 1% of American Christian women, but I also believe in the providence and sovereignty of God. If God can do this through me, he can do it through another godly woman, as well. So, if he wants me to be married, he can bring such a woman along, whether directly through here, or through a person reading this profile and knows of such a woman, or brings her across me in my community. In the meantime, I will keep growing in my knowledge of God and serving Him, thus making myself with the help of the Holy Spirit more and more godly and deserving of a great, godly, growing female of the same sort who has long been waiting for me. I know we are very rare in America any longer, but if it is God's will, it will happen.

My personality type on the Meyer Briggs is: ISTJ-a
First Date
Go for a walk; play a sport, such as volleyball or pickleball and then talk. Something that we can do a lot of talking to ask a lot of personal questions to get to know one another.
I've coached volleyball for years and have been playing sports all my life. My main sports now are volleyball and pickleball, both of which I play competitively. I grew up playing soccer, baseball, tennis (in h.s.) and basketball; football for fun only.

Also, I'm not interested in anyone who is in a cult (Catholics, church of Christ, United Pentecostals, Apostolics, Orthodox, KJV only churches, any denomination that teaches theirs is the only true denomination, or you can only receive communion if you are a member of their denomination, 7th Day Adventist, Mormons, JW's, etc.) All these believe in a works oriented gospel...there are others. If you believe baptism is necessary for salvation, or ANYTHING ELSE added to the perfect life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ (the Triune God) on your behalf, then you would be in a cult. Christians do godly works because of our salvation, not to earn salvation. Remember, all our "righteous acts" are as filthy rags in God's sight since they are tainted with sin (Isaiah 64:6). If you'd like to find the best Bible teaching denominations, just email and I'll send you you can truly increase in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (Jn 17:3). Or if you would like a list of doctrines and their verses to support them. I also have them on refuting the major cults in America (Catholicism, Mormonism, and JW's).

Here is a great list of books that I would recommend:

MEN should read several of these as it is YOUR role to TEACH doctrine to your wife and children throughout you better be able to discuss it intelligently from the WORD. Women, look for men who have read on doctrine and can discuss it intelligently. If you are dating a man who hasn't, get him a couple of these books to read and if he doesn't want to then that tells you that he isn't ready for marriage yet...for he doesn't want to be a spiritual leader. I'm tired of reading about married women complaining about their husband not being a spiritual leader. Do something about it. Don't marry men who haven't read much on theology at all and you won't end up with one like that. YOU can control that in who you choose to marry. If you choose to marry one who hasn't then he most likely never will be a spiritual leader and you have no one to blame but yourself. Don't pawn it off on....oh, I just thought he'd grow into one once married...that is illogical. Most people don't change much once married, unless you marry very young. Can you live with his leadership and knowledge as it is now for the rest of your life? If not, don't marry him until you are satisfied with what you see. Women should read a few books on theology, show yourself knowledgeable on doctrine, too. While you are single, NOW is the time. Prove yourself to your future spouse NOW! that you take marriage and God seriously by reading and being able to discuss in depth about God and the Word of God. YOU have NO EXCUSES! Children, by the time they are 18 should have been required to read several off of both of these lists.

The Holy Spirit by Arthur W. Pink ( A must Read)
Today's Gospel: Authentic or Synthetic by William Chantry ( A must read )
All of Grace by Charles Spurgeon
Grace: God's Unmerited Favor by Charles Spurgeon
Dispensationalism: Rightly Dividing the People of God by Keith Mathison ( A must read)
The Reformed Doctrine of Predestination by Lorraine Boettner ( A must read )
Covenants by O Palmer Robertson
Definite Atonement by Gary Long ( A must READ)
Putting Amazing Back into Grace by Michael Horton
Redemption Accomplished and Applied by John Murray ( very good )
The Meaning and Mode of Baptism by Jay Adams
Renewing Your Mind (Basic Christian Beliefs) by R.C. Sproul
Grace Unknown by same
Essential Truths of the Christian Faith by same
Almighty Over All by same
Knowing Scripture by same
The Glory of Christ by same
Willing to Believe by same
Knowing God by J.I. Packer
Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God by same
The Bondage of the Will(Martin Luther) translated by J.I. Packer
The Sovereignty of God by Arthur W. Pink ( A must read )
Comfort for Christians by same
The Gospel According to Jesus by John MacArthur
The Gospel According to the Apostles by same
Charismatic Chaos (refuting tongues, miracles, prophecy)by same
Ashamed of the Gospel by same
The Vanishing Conscience by same
Our Sufficiency in Christ by same
The Silent Shepherd by same
Saved Without A Doubt by same
Why You Should Believe in the Trinity by Robert Bowman
The Forgotten Trinity by James R. White
The Potter's Freedom by same
The God Who Justifies by same
Doctrines that Divide (Prot/ Catholic) by Erwin Lutzer
Protestants and Catholics by Ankerberg/ Weldon
The Resurrection Factor by Josh McDowell
The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel
It's a Young World After All by Paul Ackerman
Astronomy and the Bible by Donald DeYoung
The Collapse of Evolution by Scott Huse
The World that Perished by John Whitcomb
Creation Scientists Answer Their Critics by Duane Gish

Ready with an Answer by John Ankerberg and John Weldon
The Kingdom of the Cults by Walter Martin
Amazing Grace: The History and Theology of Calvinism, by The Apologetics Group (A MUST SEE FOR ALL CHRISTIANS)
Study Bibles recommended: Matthew Henry's Study Bible or The Reformation Study Bible. These are the Best two I have seen. I also have the NIV Study Bible, but not as good as the above two.
Most can be bought through or for good

I find it really interesting that we will study years to get a job to earn money for life, either single or married, and yet we don't study much at all about how to have a godly marriage and keep the marriage strong by understanding much about the opposite sex. As a result, many Christian marriages don't differ too much from non-Christian marriages, even though we have the truth on our side, the bible, and many intelligent Christian authors who have spent the time breaking it down and surveying men and women and their attitudes and desires. So why don't we hear this being preached in our churches? Why don't we incorporate this as a normal part of our youth Sunday school classes and bible studies? Why don't we have discussions between boys and girls about each others likes and dislikes and what God has to say about it? So, where do most of our kids end up getting their beliefs from? From either bad examples they see in the home themselves, or from our public schools which don't do it justice at all, or from TV. There are some good examples in the home, but that is far and few between. If you have that desire to make your future household different from the one you grew up with, God-willing, start studying now. Also, as a result of the above, we end up teaching our kids that it is just fine to go through boyfriend/ girlfriend, one after the other, to try them out and see what we want. What kind of logic is this? We should first figure out what we should be looking for and then look for that type of person through friendship first, and let it grow from there. AGAIN YOU HAVE NO EXCUSES NOW for the type of Godly marriage you can have...All you need to do is to require yourself and any potential spouse to read some of these.
The following is a list of marriage books I own..I have read all but about 2.
B= both men and women M= for men W= for women
No particular order at all..

B The First Five Years, by Bill and Pam Farrel

B This Momentary Marriage, by John Piper

B Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman
B Shepherding a Child's Heart, by Tedd Tripp ( a must read for both singles and married to raise your children correctly )
B The Case for Kids, by Tedd Tripp (video series on parenting)
W Rekindling the Romance: Loving the love of your life by Dennis and Barbara Rainey ( MUST READ: SINGLE AND MARRIED)
B Strengthening your marriage Wayne Mack ( MUST READ!)
W A Woman After God's Own Heart Elizabeth George ( MUST READ!)
B His Needs, Her Needs Willard Harley, Jr.(MUST READ!)
m Disciplines of a Godly Man Kent Hughes
w What Men Want Norman Wright
b Secrets of a Lasting Marriage same
w Questions Women ask in Private same
w What's a Smart Woman Doing in a Place Like This? Dr. Mary Ann Froehlich
b The Spiritually Intimate Marriage Donald Harvey
b Different By Design John MacArthur
b Successful Christian Parenting same
w Creative Counterpart Linda Dillow ( A MUST READ )
B Intimacy Ignited by the Dillows and Pintus
W Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow
b Straight Talk to Men and their Wives James Dobson
b Emotions: Can you trust them? same
b Love for a Lifetime same
b Marriage and Sexuality(sex) same
b Dr. Dobson Answers your Questions same
b Prayer Partners Anrold Prater
w A woman for all Seasons Jeanne Hendricks
b Love Life for Every married Couple(sex) Ed Wheat
b The first years of Forever same
b Secret Choices same
b Intended for Pleasure(sex) same
b Mars and Venus in the Bedroom(sex) John Gray
b Solving Marriage Problems Jay Adams
b Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible same
b The Intimate marriage R.C. Sproul ( MUST READ! )
w What Husbands Wish their Wives Knew About Men Patrick Morely
m The Man in the Mirror same
m the Mark of a Man Elizabeth Elliott
M Standing Tall Steve Farrar
M Point Man same
b The Complete Financial Guide for Young couples Larry Burkett
M The Measure of a Man Gene Getz
b Song of Solomon(sex) Don Anderson
b Engaged: When Love Takes Roots William Coleman
b Christian Marriage Mike and Myrtle Baughen
b The Act of Marriage(sex) Tim LaHaye ( A GOOD READ )
b Sheet Music (sex) Kevin Leman ( A GOOD READ )
b Sexual Happiness in Marriage(sex) Herbert J Miles
w The Gentle ways of the Beautiful Woman Anne Ortlund
( 3 books in One Volume)
w Beautiful in God's Eyes Elizabeth George
w Irresistible Wifestyles Linda Andersen ( VERY GOOD )
B Women Leaving the Workplace(stay at home moms; the TITUS 2 woman) Larry Burkett
B Why Wait? (for sex till marriage, personal testimonies; tons of different types of consequences. A MUST READ FOR ALL TEENS) Josh McDowell

I have detailed summaries of several of the above books if you are interested and I haven't already sent them to you. Just ask for them. You and your friends could use them to help yourselves grow spiritually as they have helped me tremendously to become the mature Christian that I have become by the grace of God through the power of the Holy Spirit.
God bless,
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