WhittlesJr
A faithful provider
- Gender
- Male | 34
- Country
- United States
- City
- NEWARK
- State
- Ohio
- Height
- 6'6"
- Last Login Date
- Click here to learn more
- Age
- 34
- Eye Color
- Green
- Body Type
- Athletic
- Hair Color
- Brown
- Ethnicity
- Caucasian
- Denomination
- Catholic
- Looking For
- A Marriage Partner
- Church Name
- St. Francis de Sales Catholic Church
- Church Attendance
- Every week
- Church Raised In
- Evangelical
- Do you drink?
- Socially
- Smoker
- No
- Willing to relocate?
- No way
- Marital Status
- Divorced
- Do you have children?
- Yes
- Do you want children?
- Want Children
- Education Level
- 4 Yr College Degree
- My Profession
- Programmer
- Interests
- Theology, philosophy, history, literature, Japanese language, biking, computers, 3D modelling and printing, MTG, board games, video games, anime
- About Me
-
My name is Alex. I believe that I have a lot to offer as a man, but there are also so many caveats that I feel it necessary first to make the case that, probably, you emphatically should _not_ date me. I also have a quantity of non-negotiable filters that dramatically reduce the potential candidate pool. If you can make it to the end of these lists without flinching, then you are a special person indeed.
Filters
• First off, I am acutely and terminally Catholic. I couldn't bring myself to hazard an interfaith marriage, even with the most wonderful person imaginable. If you're at least theoretically open to considering reception into the Catholic Church, we can talk.
• I put the highest value on the virtue and practice of chastity. I'm looking for someone who, like me, has reserved sex for marriage.
• We likewise must agree on the permanence of marriage. If we marry, and if (when!) you eventually grow unhappy with me, I need to trust that you will still uphold your vows, "for better or for worse."
• I am exceptionally traditional. For example, my preferences in women's clothing are straight out of the 19th century. I am mightily attracted to women who dress modestly, in defiance of the undignified and salacious fashions of our times.
• I am committed to building my family with the traditional structure and gender roles. I want to beget a hefty quiver-full of children, and want them to be raised by their mother at home, not by daycare workers.
• I am careful with money, and I believe in combined finances with mutual oversight in marriage. We would be able to have nice things, but we would also both need financial discipline, else we are bound to quarrel over spending.
Caveats
• I was unwillingly subjected to a no-fault divorce. After she filed, I did everything within my power to reconcile, resist the divorce, and keep my vows. I recently received a decree of nullity.
• I have three young children, ages 4, 4, and 9, with 50/50 custody.
• The divorce left me emotionally wounded. If I am to learn how to trust again, we would unfortunately need to build that trust from the ground up, with openness and evidence of sincerity, selflessness, and fidelity.
• While processing my grief and loneliness, I used coping mechanisms that, while not sinful, you may yet find to be icky in the highest possible degree. Though I've now reached a place of emotional stability and moved on, you may (or may not!) want to know about that period in my life.
• Even aside from the trauma, I'm also an oddball in almost every other appreciable way. As for standard fare, I'm into things like MTG[1] and board games and video games and sci-fi and fantasy, and the rare wholesome anime. But what if I told you I'm also into _fashion dolls_[2] and _EDC_[3] and _Legos_ and _Linux[4]_ and _ergonomics_ and _primary historical sources_ and all kinds of wacky stuff like that?
• One particular eccentricity of mine that is likely to prove contentious is my very narrow "animal-based" diet[5]. There are certain kinds of foods and drinks we won't be able to share. Also, while you wouldn't have to adopt this diet yourself, you would at least need to be open to some kind of mostly-whole-foods-y ethos in the household.
• I cannot move away from this city (Newark, Ohio, USA), for custody reasons.
• I have some biological flaws, namely mild scoliosis and myopia. I have a few fixable issues, too, like a chipped tooth.
• Politically, I'd say I'm a "Crunchy Conservative"[6], likely to have discordant opinions among both liberals and conservatives alike.
• If ye can't love me bairns, ye can't love me. You would need to have ample stores of energy for them, because they live only for rambunction. Your challenge would be to win them over, as they are naturally wary of me finding a new spouse.
What I have to offer
What's this? Some blessed, saintly woman made it all the way through the gauntlet of bad news and prickly opinions? If you got this far then there should be nothing holding you back. Here is a sampling of what I can offer you, in no particular order:
• I'm fanatically faithful, and I have comprehensively saved myself for my future spouse (if there is such a person.)
• I follow a regular daily rule of prayer and penance.
• I can count on one hand the number of men I've met that are taller than me.
• Consistent investment in my health and fitness has payed off, giving me a figure I can be proud of.
• I have a very comfortable income and no consumer debt.
• I own a nice home in a classy neighborhood, backing to woods, with access to a beautiful wooded bike trail. I use the trail regularly to bike around town.
• I work from home as a programmer, so you would have me all day every day. (Wait is that actually a con for you?)
• I cook...! (...Meat!) My kids tell me it's even kinda good!
• My extended family is close-knit, mostly intact, of ample means, and we all support each other.
• My kids (who are very intelligent) tell me I'm not just a _good_ papa but the very _best_ papa in the _entire world._ I think this is borne out in their reasonably good discipline and their happiness when they're with me, despite everything they've been through.
• I am always learning, expanding my knowledge, and honing my mental acuity
• I dress classy almost all the time. Family and friends can attest. (Blazers have so many important POCKETS and I NEED THEM)
• I'm tidy and organized.
• I'm handy with DIY home and auto repair.
• I'm pretty crafty, and dabble in 3D modelling, 3D printing, graphic design, woodworking, and more.
• I send my kids to an excellent classical Catholic school. Any children we have together will also get to go there too (unless you would rather homeschool them?)
• Although my libido is dizzyingly high, I have long mastered my sexual desires and live in continence. So while I yearn for a partner who can match my drive, I can do without.
There's more, but I'll let you find out the rest as we get to know each other. These are only my objective strengths. You'll have to subjectively judge my character and personality for yourself.
What I'm looking for
The most important things are the virtues, theological and cardinal. But I want the whole package: virtue, intelligence, health, beauty, shapeliness, youth, skill, charm, elegance, and a good strategic match for the family.
"Chemistry" and "feelings" and "shared interests" are awesome and so much fun, but are not anywhere near as important to me as those hard stats, and can grow with time. The closer we are geographically, the better, but I can tolerate any distance. If your family lives far away, that just means we'll travel often.
Foreign language
Though not necessary, I would really, really, really love to have a bilingual partner and raise bilingual kids. I have intermediate conversational ability in Japanese, and I expect to achieve relative fluency by 2028-2029. I love everything about that language, and it's a long-held fantasy of mine to hear my spouse speak it to me every day... But there are a total of like 6 pious Japanese Catholics in the world, so basically fml.
Fantasy aside, language learning is my #1 hobby, so I'll learn any language for the right gal. (I have some Spanish as well, but it needs a ton of work to be serviceable.)
You need to have a reasonable mastery of English, or need to be able to get to that point in a couple of years. I'm happy to learn a foreign language for you, but my kids and family are another matter.
Conclusion
My standards are high, and if I never find anyone that meets them and is willing to accept my downsides, that's OK. I have more than half a mind to enter the priesthood after my kids are grown, so if I can't find anyone in the next 13 years, I'll take it as a sign that I have a different vocation to pursue.
Footnotes
[1] Magic the Gathering - Nerdy trading card game
[2] Fashion dolls - Imported, fine quality, 1/3 scale ball-jointed dolls, for display.
[3] "Every Day Carry" - Think tools and gadgets that guys like to carry on their person, like pocket knives and such, except I go big crazy.
[4] A computer operating system exclusively for smart and attractive people.
[5] The "Animal Based Diet," pioneered by Dr. Paul Saladino, excludes almost everything that is not meat, animal products (like eggs and dairy), fruit, and honey. I also occasionally eat certain very low toxicity plant foods like white rice or fermented stuff. This is what I believe to be ancestrally consistent with human biology and best optimized for health, and it has been outrageously successful for me.
[6] So-called "crunchy conservatism" embraces traditional conservative family and philosophical values. It carries, however, a decidedly non-Republican emphasis on environmentalism, frugal living, and community-orientation over unfettered materialistic consumerism or libertarianism. I'm fiscally a classic small-government conservative, but I'm primarily for localism and a return to simpler, more sustainable ways of living. I'd be very happy on a homestead.
- First Date
- Anything that facilitates long conversation. I want to get a feel for our overall compatibility as quickly as possible. I'd be happy with a video call for starters. After that, we can go on whatever adventures present themselves.
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