We met, messed up (oops) and she got pregnant. We planned on getting married anyways...and we did. Shortly afterwards she kicked me out and said she wanted a divorce. It's been a long two years, but it should be finalized shortly. I had been pressing for paternity tests, finally got them, and the baby is mine. I'm scared and lost and confused about my role right now.
OKAY! Now. Two questions for all you wise people!
1. Because my ex-wife lives in Alaska, what suggestions would you give me to show my son that I want to be a part of his life? What can I do?
2. How do I work with my son's mother when she is shutting me out and not speaking at all to me?
If there is anyone that has any suggestions, I would appreciate it!
You're in a tuff struggle, my brother; I know I was there. But JESUS did say we would have tribulations and Paul said we are to rejoice in our tribs for it brings us closer to HIM.
That is so tuff, I know.
I'm sure there are laws that allow you to visit your son periodically, no matter what the mom says. That can't be taken from you. I suggest you take advantage of those visits and always keep communication lines open. Let me also suggest paying your child support, on time & in full. Not only is it the law but it will help your child & give you peace of mind that you are a responsible dad.
Now, working with the mom; to put it bluntly, you'll have to eat a lot of crow. We are called, as Christians to be peace makers not peace keepers. So, if things get out of hand, back off & try later to communicate. I don't know all the details but for some reason, she felt scared enough to end the relationship. IF you care not to have all of this posted where all can read it, email me & we can work on this issue.
I pray GOD will soften your heart & hers for HIS glory.
T:goofball:mie
P.S. I would love to help you guys reconcile the marriage
It all depends on the role you want to play. I went through something close to that and ended up fighting in court to get a role in my childs life when she tried to keep me from my child. To make a long story short the court felts she was being childish and not repecting the fact that the child need a father... the court gave me custody. Bad side is she got made and won't have any dealings with me or our child going on 3 years so just pray and do what you are qualified to do.
Do you have joint custody? Have the court "give" you days that you can see your son. A boy needs his father and it is so important to stay in his life NO MATTER what your X thinks. Children need to be loved and cared for. You are his dad so be firm and STAY in your boys life and you and your son will bond. Hang in there and pray to God as he will help you more than court.
All i can say is fight man. I have custody of my two youngest children. There is NO WAY I would allow her to be the custodial parent. these kids will be raised in Christ. Not in the presense of booze and drugs and such.
I wish there was a way to send this privately, I don't see how guys can send eachother messages on here. But I would challenge you to seriously seek God and I mean get down on your face, deal with the circumstances of your childs conception - it's not an (oops). Just because it's a common mistake to men and mankind, it is a serious matter. And intensely ask him to show you the role you should have in your childs life,
Listen, I had to do this. I had to get with the Lord and WRESTLE with him about what I was to do about my babies. I love/loved thier mom to death, but she is destructive. I knew in my heart I HAD to fight and the oddest thing happened, My wife mad so many bad decisions that she basicially ended up giving them to me on a silver platter. All I had to do was sit back, pray, wait, watch, and be ready when the time came to take the apporpriate actions to secure my kids futures.
So, in your circumstances, seek God, really, on your face, Fast and pray. That child's life and life time will be determined by the course of action you take. Parenthood is a priority second to none.
If she is shutting u out then that is not good for the kids. Unless ur a risk or r detremental to her and the kids welfare then I think u must fight on. Children must not be used as pawns. Iam sure there is a legal way to fight for access to your kids and u should act now.I have two kids in the same situ but I have full access to them. The mother wants what is best for her kids and that is to grow up knowing their father.I go to their house to cook 4 them do homework, take them out for play or even keep them company.Though I have finished completely with her and she has moved on but I see them whenever I want to. Infact it gives her time to do other things or have quality time with whoever she may be involved with.She has even told me I can sleep in their bedrooms with them but I draw a line and I will not do that because Iam no longer with her. If a child is ill then I
