That is the real challenge. Usually we parents are judged by the way our children behaved... because maybe it is biblical "you know them by their fruits"... am I right to attribute that verse to parenting?
I am single parent for very long, stayed that way because I have girls and I am afraid they might get molested in a step father relationship. Who am I to risk their lives? But I have no regrets, I was so busy with work and family I could not have time for a mate. All those 18 years of single parenthood and am still counting, I feel the Lord's presence, protection, provision.
I think what keeps us happy in our single parent home is that we've been always grateful to God in whatever situation. There is always a negative & positive side in a situation and it is a choice which side to focus on. Being happy is a matter of attitude.
I think you're right. Badly behaved children are usually either "made" that way by other parents/adults/children, or are allowed to "stay" that way by poorly skilled parents...with exceptions of course. But I know too many good parents whose children are all well behaved little people, not because they were born that way, but because the parents "raised the child in the way that he/she should go". Especially compared to other kids their age.
Well, I think the spiritual fruits are manifest in every area of life, absolutely including parenting.
Regarding who to blame for ill-behaved kiddos: I agree w/ what Mark said. However, children are still responsible for their own actions. Proverbs 20:11 says, "Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right."
but it is only going to be known if shown to them. I think if child is raised by wolves, then the moral christian compass would not exist, because the child would just learn survival instincts from his pack.
I think this generation we live in and the reality... there are many traumas out there, including the broken home that leave emotional scars. Children need to be guided in the way they should go, however as a single parent, no matter how much we try to point our little arrows towards him, there is the daily challenge of what comes into their lives that is sometimes out of our control.
By fruits, are you referring to the children... I think it is too early in a child's life to determine that. Children are meant to explore and test their limits and boundaries. Our job is to hold to them... and get the support to do so if we are growing weary.
Your statement of not wanting your children to be molested by a future partner is a realistic concern, and very valid. Have you done some looking into that as well?
I am a volunteer facilitator for adult education groups for the prevention of the sexual abuse of children. Sadly the statistics in the US are 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will have an unwanted sex act before age 18. The statistics in Canada are the same for boys, but is 1 in 3 girls here. We must also realize those are only out of those reported. Sad, but true. Can understand then why some of us choose to sublime ourselves.
I am happy for you Liza, that even as single parent you take time to volunteer. I believe it helps develop your personality becoming better and better. Yes, sexual abuse is rising. There really are molestations in the home and cases of mothers in denial for fear of hunger/broken family or shame.
I believe it also refers to children. A bad tree cannot bear good fruit.. since there must be 2 parents, a child may take traits from one or the other or both. And I think it is related to Exodus 20 - honor your parents... so that it may go well with you. See the cycle?
Not always - my parents have always been solid Christians, still married to one another after nearly 40 years. We went to church three times a week or more.
I was still a rebellious hellion. Good grades, yes, but rock music and parties and shaved head. Fairly innocuous, I think, compared to some of what's out there today (and what was out there then), but still. For my quiet, reserved parents. . . . I know I caused them many a sleepless night and more than a few gray/lost hairs.
My sister? Always the perfect child. Always home by curfew - when she did go out - taught Children's Church, you name it.
That being said, I am now an excellent example of the proverb: Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.
