Thread: This isn't the life I expected I'd have (Pretty long post!)
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This isn't the life I expected I'd have (Pretty long post!)
Posted : 18 Aug, 2008 11:35 PM
I wasn't sure whether to put this in this forum or in prayer requests, but here goes.
I just feel as if I've lost my sense of joy in the Lord and in life. I know Christ looks at the heart, but as far as people are concerned, I am a loser. I'm pretty good and trying to keep on an "I'm o.k." face, but it's just a front. I thought my life would look very different than it does now. I was always a great student, the good Christian girl who always did what was expected, and yet, I feel like I have nothing to show for it.
I have a science degree, but haven't been able to get a decent, related or steady job since I graduated 3.5 years ago. I'll be 25 in Sept and I live at home, unemployed. I'm back in school trying to get a teaching degree, but in trying to get a teaching job under a temporary license, I have applied for many positions with not so much as even an interview. I'm super concerned about finances and having to live off of student loans while worrying about mounting student debt. And the family I live with has major relational and financial problems to add, but I can't afford to move out. And I have been single for over a year now from a guy who I thought was possibly the man I'd marry, but who turned out to not be genuine in his alleged acceptance of and submission to Christ as he wanted me to think. Right now, finding a guy is the least of my concerns!!
I don't find joy in much and try to constantly distract myself from anything that makes me sad or worry. I've been looking for a church who's doctrine falls in line with my convictions and that has other people my age for Christian fellowship since the church I go to now is about 95% retirees. The few friends I have are not at all Christians, and I worry about how this will affect me and how I can be a witness to them when I think they see me as the Christian who can't get a break in life and who probably think I'm crazy for hoping that God will turn things around when I've yet to see the results of prayer this far.
Anyone else experienced this seemingly eternal waiting to see just an inkling of God's working in their lives??? I don't even know if I'm painting my concerns in a way that gives understanding of the full weight of it all. I don't need to know how things are going to turn out, but I honestly wonder sometimes if my prayers and tears are falling on deaf ears. I crave just a sign, a hint that God really is working in my life to help me make sense of why I believe.
I feel like this period of trial is going to either seriously prove God's power to work and strengthen my faith to give me an amazing testimony or completely shatter my faith in God. And the latter terrifies me. I could use some prayer warriors lifting up this spiritual sister. I appreciate it. Thanks!!
This isn't the life I expected I'd have (Pretty long post!)
Posted : 19 Aug, 2008 06:46 AM
Beloved Child of God! My heart goes out to you in a big way on these struggles! I don't have the time necessary this morning to respond but be assured I will lift you up to the LORD. Between now and then:
Be not weary in well doing; for in due season you shall reap, if you do not faint. Galatians 6:9
This isn't the life I expected I'd have (Pretty long post!)
Posted : 19 Aug, 2008 10:44 AM
Whew, everybody has money problems. Especially in Florida. Florida is too expensive to live in. A lot of companies disband a lot of people for business purposes.
I heard a few people had that problem. They went to school and cannot find a job for that degree. They spend so much money and its a waste of time.
Even though things feel pretty down. I do feel that God sets a pathway in lives. One thing for sure, God does give people opportunities. The opportunities are kinda hard to see since we value things than opportunities.
The only thing that can stop you is you.
Looking at my Life, I suspected my life to be much much worst. I should be dead already. Then again, is that really a bad thing?
This isn't the life I expected I'd have (Pretty long post!)
Posted : 19 Aug, 2008 10:29 PM
I pray that something I say in this message will encourage you to stay close to God. I have been turned down on many teaching positions, and I finally got to the point of accepting what happens as God's will. I have had so many trials in my life, but God always carried me through and blessed me for remaining faithful to Him. Satan knows our weakness, and he does play on our minds, just as he did with Eve in the Bible. One thing that has helped me in the past year of being disabled and not feeling like teaching has been praying all throughout the day, especially when a negative thought comes to mind. Listening to Christian radio also lifts my spirits. GOD LOVES YOU SO MUCH, AND HE HAS GREAT PLANS FOR YOUR LIFE! KEEP BELIEVING THAT GOD IS IN CONTROL AND THAT HE IS PREPARING A JOB FOR YOU THAT WILL BRING GLORY TO HIS NAME.
My life has been full of disappointments and sickness; I take one day at a time and thank God that things are not any worse. I have no income now, but I trust that God will help me to get my disability soon.
This isn't the life I expected I'd have (Pretty long post!)
Posted : 23 Aug, 2008 12:43 PM
Again, thank you to all who have written words of encouragement or sent up prayers on my behalf. May you be blessed in return!! I'm trying to take it day by day and just learn to fully trust God to be working things out for my good, even when I don't see the effects. That's soooo hard to do! Thank you again all.
This isn't the life I expected I'd have (Pretty long post!)
Posted : 24 Aug, 2008 08:40 PM
Life never is what you expect it to be...It's really what you make it...I will keep you lifted up. I know what you're going through. Truely I do. Please know that when you are in a desert place God always leaves you joy, you just have to focus and find it. There are times that you have to walk by what you know to be right and not necessarily how you feel. God has placed a cactus in the middle of the desert to let us know there is life sustaining elements that guarentee our survivial even though we may not see it for the heat, grit, and thorns we're experiencing. If we keep forcused on Jesus, we will see the blossoms of the cactus in the midst of the thorns and rejoice in it. Remember that the water of life lives within the cactus and all we have to do is drink.
Take Care and Be Blessed...You're lifted up. Robin
This isn't the life I expected I'd have (Pretty long post!)
Posted : 17 Sep, 2008 11:19 PM
My Sistah,
It is not about what you expect...it's about what He expects. You are being tried thru the fire now...so you can come forth and be prepared to walk in your destiny. If God showed us in advance what we would have to go thru to get to our destiny..we would not go...our fear would stop us. So He just propels us forward knowing that He is forever by our side and He will ensure that your needs and some of your wants will be met...and best of all we get to be with Him for eternity....Remember this world is not our home...we are pilgrims heading toward heaven...
