Inthewake

Gender
Male | 44
Country
United States
City
Smyrna
State
Tennessee
Height
6'4"
Last Login Date
Click here to learn more
Age
44
Eye Color
Brown
Body Type
Average
Hair Color
Brown
Ethnicity
Caucasian
Denomination
Baptist
Looking For
A Marriage Partner
Church Name
Ask me
Church Attendance
Every week
Church Raised In
Southern Baptist
Do you drink?
No
Smoker
No
Willing to relocate?
No way
Marital Status
Divorced
Do you have children?
Yes
Do you want children?
Undecided/Open
Education Level
4 Yr College Degree
My Profession
Former High school teacher
Interests
Basketball, building things, game nights with friends, camping, , working out
About Me
Who I am & The relationship I'm looking for & My Faith:
I am thoughtful. This plays out in a variety of ways. I like to observe people. I am constantly evaluating my interactions with people and running scenarios through my head of how I would handle a situation or what I would say/should say. I am intentional with my words and actions. I am a problem solver. I try to see my failures and fix them. This does tend to lead me to getting fixated on things, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. Which leads into my organizational obsession. I like to organize, clean, and have a place for everything (it frustrates me when I need something and can't find it).

I am kind hearted. I make it a point to compliment others. I try to lift up and encourage those around me. I am 'gentle in spirit'. I am generally even tempered. I apologize when I wrong others. I try to help others anytime I can. I check in on my friends. I pray with those who ask. I was raised to be polite, well mannered. I am not combative with those I disagree with, but I try to rationally discuss issues and then if there is no progress in the conversation I respectfully move on. I want to make people happy and feel good when they're around me. Do not mistake this for being a pushover. If truth needs to be said and it will offend someone, I side with truth and try to say things as gentle as possible.

I am talkative. Sometimes this is good, because I think I can be funny. However when you mix this with the thoughtful part of me it means if not corralled I can talk forever. On the positive side, I will talk to anyone/everyone. I like to. So, you might say I'm an extrovert in that sense. No one has ever called me shy. However I do get intimidated easily, so if I feel unwelcomed or unliked by a group I will shut down quickly. I prefer smaller groups of friends, large groups wear me out (this goes back to point 2 where I am intentionally trying please those around me). So, I really enjoy my quiet times. I find that my sweet spot is in situations where someone else is leading the conversation and I get to play off their lead. Sadly, it turns out amongst my friends, I am usually having to initiate the conversation.

I am disciplined. This one is a more recent development. This came out of necessity I guess. After my divorce I was responsible for everything myself. So I disciplined myself so I could get done all that needed to get done in a way that I could do it. At this same time, I wanted/needed to get healthy. So I disciplined my body. I went on a healthy plan and lost over 100 pounds in a year. I'm now almost 3 years on plan and I am 130 pounds down and still loosing. During this time, I found I could really take care of a lot of the issues in my life, and I became more disciplined in my bible study, my prayer life, how I used my free time, etc.

I am romantic. I know everybody says this, but this is what others would say about me. I like doing the little things. I observe and like to please, and that's a winning combination to becoming romantic. I like to be affectionate, I like to make people feel special. I want to be an encourager, a helper in your success, a partner in building your dreams. I like to share in the life of my partner....

This is a tricky section because a trait that might be seen as positive to one person might seem horrible to the next. I'll give you one of my examples. I never grow tired of things I like. I still listen to songs I've listened to for 20 years. I still like my 14 year old car. I still watch old tv shows with my daughter that I grew up on. Now, yes I do listen to new songs too, and watch new shows, and I wouldn't mind a new car, but the point is I've not grown tired of these old things and I'm not striving after the latest and greatest to be satisfied. Now to some that is a negative. They'd say I'm boring, and they'd want new stuff. I think of this as a positive because if I like you, I'm not going to grow tired of you either.

I wasn't sure where to add this so I'll put it here. Yes I am in a wheelchair. I was in a car accident when I was 16. The results of that accident left me paralyzed and an amputee below the knee on my right side. I have been in a wheelchair now longer than I could walk before the accident. It is my normal. I have full and complete use of my arms and hands. I am completely independent, taking care of my home, and raising my daughter all by myself. Now, I obviously have some limitations. I don't like to dance (except with my daughter), I can't reach high up things (so my fan blades don't get cleaned as often as they should), and I can not win a game of hopscotch :o)

THE RELATIONSHIP I'M LOOKING FOR:
You'll notice there isn't a lot said about God in this but that's because I'm assuming all that part is a given. I'm assuming your relationship with Jesus is 1st priority in your life, and you want it to be 1st priority in your relationships. I'm assuming that you would be focused on the things of God and that you would want me focusing on them as well. I see it as a given that in a relationship I would pray with, dig in to the word with, serve with, etc. my partner. So, please read this section with the understanding that first and foremost I desire a Christian/Biblical/faith strengthened/Spirit guided relationship. That part is the assumed given starting point. That's why we're all on this site right.

1. I want a relationship where I feel I bring value to the other person�s life - If I am of no value to you, then why would you keep me around, right?

2. I cannot be your source of completeness - If you are not completed in Christ, then what chance do I have? I do not NEED you to make me happy, or fulfilled, or complete, or loved. I hope that with you, I would feel these things, but I'm not relying on you to provide those things. If you are NEEDING/RELYING on me to give you this, at some point I'm going to fail and you're going to be miserable. I will do my best to give you my best all the time. I will not ask you to be perfect, you don't ask me to be perfect. It sounds like this contradicts Point 1, but I don't see it that way. I can add value without being everything. I think the addition of another person in my life will be like going from a black and white life to a life in color.

3. I want a partner - I will contribute and you will also. I understand the roles God gave to the Man and the Woman within a relationship. I'm ready to step up and fulfill my role (This is hopefully where I would add value to your life- Point 1). I want to be a leader, a helper, a comforter, and encourager, a cheerleader, a source of truth, and strength, and humor. Are you ready for that in your life? Will you allow someone, trust someone, encourage someone to be that in your life? And, I want you to fulfill your roles in the relationship. I want a second voice in my life. I believe in two becoming one.

4. Honesty is key - Really I see 3 thing working together in this area. Communication, Honesty, and Trust. If you aren't honest, you won't be trusted, and it won't matter what is being communicated. If I trust that you are being honest I will listen to you. I value honesty a great deal because in my experience I can see how so many problems could/would have been solved if we would have just been honest with one another. I am honest to a fault some times, but I would rather feeling be expressed and addressed than to have then suppressed and they grow into a root of bitterness.

5. Lead by example - If my words and actions don't match up, I'm doing it wrong. As partners we would each be leaders over our roles in the relationship. I should not ask you to do something I am not willing to do myself. I will show you how I value you in action. You will know my heart toward you in my words, and deeds, and affections, and attention. I will earn a place of leadership through my actions and my example. Likewise, your actions will elicit the same response in me.

Side note : 5b - being that I have a young daughter I would include in this section the desire to have a strong Christian female leader in my daughters life. I treasure and protect my daughter and her heart. If you are not a good example through your words, actions, jokes, attitude, etc. that would make for a big problem.

I'll say it again, I'm not perfect (far from it), but I'm not looking for perfect either. My desire would be to find someone to share this life with. I value in others (Christ-likeness of course) honesty, communication, loyalty, sense of humor (including the ability to laugh at oneself), modesty, gentleness, positivity, curiosity, a servants heart, non-materialistic, and an attitude of gratitude. These are also the characteristics I'm developing in myself.

MY FAITH:
"Justification by grace alone, on the basis of Christ alone, through faith alone, to the glory of God alone, as laid out with final authority in Scripture alone." Living my life for Christ in words and action. Glorifying Him in everything I do and spreading the love of Christ to everyone I come into contact with. Love Him, love others....in a nutshell.

I'm daily in the word, daily in prayer (trying but failing sometimes), and at peace in worship and teaching and learning about God. I struggle to trust him with everything, but I'm struggling because I'm trying to be better every day. That's the main focus of my faith to grow and trust in Christ more and more every day.

I came to know and trust in Jesus Christ my Lord in middle school. I have been following Him, studying Him, serving Him, and hanging onto His love and mercy and grace ever since. I have served in almost all areas of the church. I have been on the cleaning brigade, an usher, worked audio/video, ran a food and clothing pantry for the poor, worked in an after school program for kids, intern youth pastor, even got a chance to guest preach a couple times.

I know my faults and failures, the list is long. I know He knows them as well. My heart breaks for breaking His heart. And while I know I can never earn what He has given I try to show my appreciation through a changed life of obedience and service.
First Date
Anything that provides the opportunity to chat and get to know one another
Account Settings (To message Inthewake you must meet the following criteria.)

Any Age.
Appears on 9 members favorites lists

Send an abuse report regarding Inthewake's Language, Images or other account details

If you suspect this member is a SCAMMER or is being deceitful PLEASE CLICK HERE and let us know so that we can check them out