Author Thread: why do guys run away
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why do guys run away
Posted : 25 Jun, 2011 07:38 PM

why do guys run away when they find ou that you have a baby or kids? i hope that i find a good guy thats family oriented and wants to settle down i know theres someone out there for me

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haybayz

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why do guys run away
Posted : 16 Oct, 2011 02:48 PM

tell me about it i have 5 beautiful kids and cant have any more. Most Guys run a mile when i say 5 or think they can try it on and then run when i dont allow it. It does scare people when there is a ready made family esp when i have two with special needs.

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WorkWise

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why do guys run away
Posted : 24 Nov, 2011 11:25 AM

I'll start off by saying that I have a 4 year old and find the same thing with women. And the times I have been involved with a woman who has kids they always seem to favor their own children and resent my son.



Here's the core of the problem. When 2 people are singe, never having been married, and have no children, they can put eachother first. They can focus 100% on the other individual. When they get married and have children it's something they do together and in most cases naturally admust as the chid/children are theirs together...something they created together.



When children are already present from a prior relationship you can't give eachother that 100%. You have to consider the needs of the child. Will this person get along with my child? Will child accept the person or make life miserable? And people tend to be far pickier when they have children because they have to consider the needs of the children.



It's intimidating for a guy or gal to enter a relationship when there are children. It is a reminded that the person was committed to someone else and that some one else will continue to be involved because of the chlidren. Guys don't like their girlfriends/wives to have anything to do with another guy who knows inimitade details about her. Women often feel the same way about guys they date. Who wants someone hanging around who your girlfriend/boyfreind has had sex with and had children with. There is a lot that goes into it and it's not always a selfish decision to avoid people with kids. I've found it easier to date women who do not have kids and/or don't want any of their own. I'm not opposed to dating women with kids, but the moment I feel like I'm going to always play second banana, I'm gone. Spouse comes first, then kids. That's easy when the kids came from your marriage. But when they came from another marriage it's nearly impossible. I don't care what people say. It's nearly impossible to love someone elses kids as much as you love your own.

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why do guys run away
Posted : 27 Dec, 2012 04:39 PM

Let's be frank here.Most guys who don't have kids want to start their own family. I think the older guys get, the less of an issue it is. Most American women do not seem to want a guy over 35, then over 38. This is their loss because these are the ages at which men are willing to marry women with kids.

Most step kids hate their dad. The research supports this. This is for obvious reasons. The kids feel like the guy is taking over they dad's place and resent it. Not all kids are like this, but most. And it is not an ideal situation. This is what happens when men (who are responsible for most divorces,at least historically) don't take their vows seriously. The mother of a somebody I know was widowed and met a guy who married her and he raised her little boy (about 3 years old) as his own. When weens are young enough it works out very well. When they are teenagers it can be rough, especially since teenagers are all crazy half the time anyways due to hormonal changes. My grandmother was divorced (with a Biblical reason) moved to California for work many decades ago, when there was plenty of work there, and she had four kids and met a quiet, shy man in California, who was from Alaska, who married her and was faithful and loving to the end. My grandmother got on her knees and prayed and begged God as did my mother before they met their soul mates. It happens. I thing women are more spiritual and it is easier for them to turn to the Lord.

God can make any situation work out right. It just depends on His plan.

Practically speaking, though, I think women with children should look for guys with kids, because then they are both in the same boat and have the same perspective.

These are just my opinions and observations.

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