Author	Thread: My kids are my #1 priority in life
rainbowian View Profile History	My kids are my #1 priority in life Posted : 20 Nov, 2010 10:16 AM First, I'm not trying to attack or judge anyone in any way. Just looking to gain some insight. With that said: If someone writes on their profile that, "My kids are my #1 priority in life", is it a good idea for that person to be on a dating site? I can't see a somebody wanting to enter into a relationship where they would be at best #2 in the other person's life. If someone wants to have their kids as their #1 priority, I respect that. It just doesn't seem likely to result in a successful dating relationship. Post Reply
View Profile History	My kids are my #1 priority in life Posted : 20 Nov, 2010 10:53 AM To a single parent trying to raise their kids in this world and after a divorce, why wouldn't they be their number 1 priority in life? Would you rather have the profile say their number 1 priority is finding a mate, putting their kids second to that? Would you want to date someone with that mindset? Post Reply
rainbowian View Profile History	My kids are my #1 priority in life Posted : 20 Nov, 2010 11:15 AM I'm not saying that their kids shouldn't be their #1 priority. Just that it likely isn't a good idea to be on a dating site. I can't see somebody wanting to enter into a relationship where they would be at best #2 in the other person's life. Post Reply
View Profile History	My kids are my #1 priority in life Posted : 20 Nov, 2010 11:34 AM My kids are all grown, but if I were in that situation, they would be the number 1 priority in my life as well. I guess in a sense they still are; you never stop being a parent. If only dating, they would remain number 1. However, if dating led to commitment and marriage, then the Biblical order of things would fall into place. I would think it unfair to say a woman who places her children as a priority above others, 'prior' to getting into a serious relationship, should not date. And I would hope a man would understand that these women are to be praised for making their children number 1 in their lives, and that you would be their number 2 until such time as the Lord brings you together. Post Reply
View Profile History	My kids are my #1 priority in life Posted : 23 Nov, 2010 06:14 AM I agree with SavedInChrist. I am a single mom and my kids are my number 1 priority. I can't place some man I haven�t met yet on a pedestal above my children and make him my #1. When finding someone, I have to look at the qualities and flaws that he has to offer and decide whether or not he would be a good man to bring into my girls' life as well as into my own. If I ever meet him, then the priority would change and he would hit the #1 spot. If I were to put in my profile that a man was my number 1 priority and not my children, then why would I even be on a dating site in the first place because I would already have a man.... and then having messed up priorities would be the least of anyone�s concerns... then we would be discussing morals. I don�t know any decent mother who would place her children in second place to a man whom she has not yet met. It would also be messed up to put yourself in the #1 spot if you had children because then it would be clear that you are being selfish and not looking out for the best interest of the little people who depend on you to be the decision maker. Peoples priorities change as their lives change. An unemployed persons main priority is to find a job. Once they find a job, that is not going to be a top priority anymore, something else will be�.like getting caught up on bills. A single parents main priority should be their children. If it isn�t, I personally would be concerned because that would show that person as being selfish and irresponsible. If that single parent were to get married and not be single anymore, then obviously circumstances will dictate the priority list and the man would be the # 1 priority. Post Reply
View Profile History	My kids are my #1 priority in life Posted : 23 Nov, 2010 06:23 AM Here is one more thought.... if we are merely discussing a dating relationship, then how would it be fair to the children involved if their parent put their needs second to the needs of a person who has made no commitment. There is a life-long commitment between a mother and her child and no commitment between a single mom and a guy that she is simply dating. Is she simply supposed to abandon the needs of her children in order to satisfy the needs a man who may not even be around next month? If the dating relationship were to evolve into a real commitment then yes, the priorities would change. But if there is no promise or commitment between the two adults, the children should not suffer because of that. Post Reply
sherehe View Profile History	My kids are my #1 priority in life Posted : 29 Nov, 2010 05:56 AM Hey, its a good idea but i wld say it depends on hw one wld take it. Whn one says the kids are a number one priority its just normal. Post Reply
View Profile History	My kids are my #1 priority in life Posted : 29 Nov, 2010 11:08 AM Maybe another way to view this topic is that we are talking about something being out of sequence. Normallly two people meet, fall in love, get married, have kids. That is a "normal" sequence. In the beginning they can focus on each, there are no kids involved. Once married, they have a foundation on which to build and then have kids. They can shift the focus some from being on each other to being on the kids. Now re-arrange that sequence from a society where the failure rate of marriage is 50% or children are born outside of marriage. The main focus is not on each other, but on the kids by one side of the equation. That means that as two people are trying to get to know each other, they are doing so at a disadvantage compared to the normal sequence. I'm not saying right or wrong, just making an observation about the results of our cultures 50% divorce rate. I think a question like what was posted is based upon seeing that sequence being out of order. Post Reply
Firehawk View Profile History	My kids are my #1 priority in life Posted : 3 Dec, 2010 09:19 PM I can understand why kids are a major focus in ones life, but Scripture is clear that God should be our #1 priority. I am not saying that kids aren't important. If the kids are #1, all other relationships are suffer. That might be a major contributor do the divorce statistics. Post Reply
shi2010 View Profile History	My kids are my #1 priority in life Posted : 11 Dec, 2010 07:45 PM Here's the thing OP. I have a son, and you wouldn't be able to tell it by looking at me profile. Reason: My kid is "My" number one priority, however he is not involved in anything I do or anyone I meet unless they are significant enough to meet him themselves. What I'm trying to say is that you don't have to share your family with a bunch of strange people. Our responsibility is to inform people of our children, not convince them how much we love them by exploiting them. Children shouldn't have to be exposed to people in their parents dating lives unless there are longterm plans involved.:angel: Post Reply
View Profile History	My kids are my #1 priority in life Posted : 3 Apr, 2011 10:57 AM And a related topic: Do we idolise our kids? Answers on a postcard please... Post Reply

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