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FaithfulPilgrim

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Guy Expressing His Love Within A Month.. Red Flag?
Posted : 7 Nov, 2021 07:12 PM

Leave the guy or gal alone. Sounds like a "catfish" to me or a 419 scam. I was on a dating app a while back and this "girl" quickly said "she" loved me within a month like you said and of course pretty picture, etc and I was really hesitant but then I searched online and found out it was a scam before they could ask for money so I told them I knew they were a scammer and surprisingly they confessed and sent me another picture. It was weird. I also had a friend who was not quite so lucky and he fell for the "I love you trick" and the supposed girl said she was in the US but had to go back to her home country for an emergency visit but would be back but said they were poor and there was a medical emergency. He actually sent this person some money and then they sent him some money orders asking him to cash them and take a portion for himself and send the rest back - I think he sent about a couple of grand. I looked it up and there was and may still be a process where they buy low cost money orders for $5 or less and then erase the actual amount and then put a higher amount on the money order and request someone to cash them for them. Since its a real money order, banks won't catch it until a few days later but when they do, they'll ask the person who cashed the money order for their money back. I also had a friend of mine who cashed a check for someone she knew and then gave them the money and it was a fake check so the back later asked for all of their money back. If anyone says they love you so quickly, be weary and consider its likely a scam especially if you have not seen them. The tale tell sign is usually when they ask for money or for you to cash money orders or checks or any other number of weird tricks these scammers have. Be careful Sis - there is safety in the multitude of counselors.
FaithfulPilgrim

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defination of attractive
Posted : 7 Nov, 2021 06:55 PM

For me, I also find it extremely attractive if a lady walks in the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. I am attracted by a woman who displays femininity and has not let the world harden her and who is kind and loving towards others and who has a great personality. Rudeness, arguing, and hostility are all unattractive to me. As far as body type, I think there just has to be an attraction so if a lady's personality shines that brightly, it is definitely attractive but I guess there has to be a balance. It can't be all about outward appearance nor just about inner appearance but I do think that what's on the inside outshines what is on the outside any day.
FaithfulPilgrim

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defination of attractive
Posted : 7 Nov, 2021 06:39 PM

Amen
FaithfulPilgrim

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Interracial Dating
Posted : 7 Nov, 2021 06:37 PM

I am a black man and I personally have gone out with women from different races mainly because they were Christians and we had things in common. I think it should be a concern if anyone wants to date or marry anyone based on skin color. If the perfect Christian match happened to be a skin color that you don't prefer, would you walk away. Just my opinion that some heart searching may need to be done. I know I've had my share of heart break from relationships with women of my own skin color but that does not mean that I won't date another woman of that color. Nevertheless if it is true love in Christ, the skin color should not matter. Like the Lord said in 1 Samuel 16:7, But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.
FaithfulPilgrim

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Why "Christian" man think sex before marriage is OK?
Posted : 7 Nov, 2021 06:20 PM

I agree with what many others have said. A man should not request sex before marriage. I will also say that a couple should avoid situations that may lead to wanting to have sex. I heard a Pastor once say that you have to know yourself and if holding hands or kissing leads moves you wanting to have sex or anything else then you should avoid doing those things. To me kissing will cause most people problems so it should be avoided or limited until after marriage. I really think that marriage is far more beyond sex and more based on friendship so if a relationship seems to be just about wanting to have sex before marriage it may be better to just move on and find someone who enjoys your company without trying to pressure you to have sex before marriage
FaithfulPilgrim

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Should I just let this flow naturally
Posted : 7 Nov, 2021 07:00 AM

Hi HazelEyesSparkle,

Here's my 2 cents :) - I agree with most of what everyone else said. The first and most important question is if he's a Christian. If he is indeed from another culture, the way women are treated in that culture may be different than the way women in the US are treated. One of the women in my family once dated an Islamic guy and his whole family was Islamic and he wanted to marry her and since she's a Christian, I asked if she was planning to convert to Islam if they married and she said no so decided to end the relationship. Some good questions could be where he's from and if he's Islamic and just do some basic investigation - these days google can be a good tool to use to find out some things, criminal record, etc. Having a different faith outside of Christianity should be a "deal breaker" because we see serious conflict in countries all over the world between those who don't follow the Lord Jesus and those who do and I don't think anyone wants a marriage with that kind of conflict. Also a big point like others have said is if he's married or in another relationship. There are "fatal attractions" that can lead to very horrible experiences. Like the Apostle Paul said in 2 Corinthians 6:14, "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?" I remember a conversation I had with Christian brothers and we came to to the conclusion that some things necessary for a successful relationship are common faith "Christianity", inner attraction (attraction to personality leading to friendship), outward attraction. We said that it had to be a healthy balance of those and I'm sure other qualities. If is all outward without the others, that can cause serious problems long term - if something happens to cause that person to not be able to maintain that outward appearance, will the relationship end? It should not if that inner attraction and faith were also there. I pray that the Lord blesses you to find that right person for you.
FaithfulPilgrim

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I got a question for men
Posted : 6 Nov, 2021 11:26 AM

Hi Michellestrebe1024,

Here's my take on your question. Its kind of hard to say why anyone likes or understands anyone because people are all raised in different parts of the country and sometimes of the world with different expectations, beliefs, values... Nevertheless from things I've seen in my corner of the world, most guys are influenced by outward appearance - sometimes it might be the way a lady dresses, the way she does her hair, sometimes body type ... Some are influenced by personality - they want a lady that's really sweet and feminine and quiet. I think some guys want a lady who stays at home and will make a good Mother for children and who will respect and love them. As far as understanding, I think it helps to get out and do those things you like for instance as a Christian, going to church and getting involved in different types of outreaches, prayer and bible studies and fellowship meetings and just getting to know those around you. Like Proverbs 18:24 says, "A man who has friends [a]must himself be friendly,..." So I would encourage anyone who wants someone who understands them to get out and fellowship with those Christians who enjoy the things you do and the more you do that, it can increase your chances of meeting someone compatible. May the Lord bless you to find that perfect match for you.
FaithfulPilgrim

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World keeps and I keep wanting to go home
Posted : 3 Nov, 2021 06:41 PM

Amen. The happiest I've ever been in my life is when I totally focused on God and did not think about dating. Being single and totally focused on Him is a good thing because in that day we will see the Lord and there is great joy in knowing and loving Him. Be encouraged Bro - a close relationship with the Lord can be enough. God bless you.
FaithfulPilgrim

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is this site worth while?
Posted : 3 Nov, 2021 06:36 PM

I heard someone say that Eharmony is good and maybe better because most people there are seriously interested in getting married - maybe because you pay a little more for it and also I think they try to narrow down matches based on answers you give to a number of questions and also salary, education, etc. It's more expensive if you pay the full price but they send out 60% discounts regularly so wait for that if anyone does sign up. You can't really see pictures there unless you pay and there may be limits to communication also on the site. The advantage to this site is that its free to see pictures and communicate but there may be a lot more casual daters instead of those really interested in getting married. Nevertheless like with all relationships got to be careful and take time to get to know each other if you do find someone here or anywhere for that matter. I pray that God directs your step to that right perfect match for you.
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