Do you think Christian people have less desire for relationships to divorced/single parents?
Posted : 2 Dec, 2012 12:31 PM
I ask because despite my sending winks to people, I don't seem to get more than profile views from those people, and other people. I seem to rarely get messages or winks back. I don't feel I'm unattractive or undesirable, so my assumption is that being divorced and a single mother is undesirable/ unappealing. Thoughts?
Do you think Christian people have less desire for relationships to divorced/single parents?
Posted : 3 Dec, 2012 12:22 AM
I too feel the same way because i've tried some other site's and i only got some veiws and even those veiws were out of arm's reach because they are eighter from towns away or countries away so my question is what are the true requirements to meeting new and decent men who really do want or should i say desire to be love and inlove wiht that woman who awaites her mate
Do you think Christian people have less desire for relationships to divorced/single parents?
Posted : 3 Dec, 2012 05:43 AM
Maybe and maybe not. But what is most important at this time is to focus on what plan God has for you. Sometimes, when we run about looking hard and spent for that "one", we may be missing out on who or what God want us to see. Usually, as a new comer around here, i found you might land yourself in such a state you are wondering if you are in the "right place at all". But relax. Give God the fight and the hurts. Ask any member what their experiences were like the first few days they came here...Maybe many will tell you in a sum.
But along the line, when you let Go, then you let God, you will see an amazing thing that will happen. Please do not think its a disadvantage. Some of the men on this site, dont forget were trained and raised by single mom! Let that be your consolation. None should look down on you. None should see your status as such. Do not feel rejected.
In same vein, do not feel bad towards anyone who look past you for that reason or any other. Someone eventually will come. Who will see you worth enough to die for! Someone will come along sent by God to you and equipped with all powers and provisions to bear your state. And it will never be an issue with him or her if you were divorced and single mom!
Do you think Christian people have less desire for relationships to divorced/single parents?
Posted : 5 Dec, 2012 04:34 AM
On another line, I must tell you, as a man, while some may not fancy that idea of a date with a single mom, I want you to believe there are guys out there and even here who don't see single mom as a curse! Trust me. Its funny how individually we had come on. Its amazing.
One reason among many, why a single guy may not consider a single mom/divorced is he may be considering the impact the "added mix" will have on his plan as well as the woman. He may consider himself not prepared enough for such. Think like this, a decision between a single man/woman is easy to contain and execute because they appear both free and independent, but where there are dependencies from one of the parties, such dependencies must be considered by the other party before entering into commitment. It swings both ways single mom or otherwise. A man may think, for a start, he has no such provision for such "encumbrances", hence in order not to break a heart or dabble into what he will not finish, he may just as well outrightly shut off to it. So for 100 winks you sent, you may not get beyond a profile view and good luck wish from him (if you get one though). Its just order of preference and what individual wants. I dont think it has a thing to do with profiling or being branded "unappealing" venture.
But where that exist, we have also some others who have such a heart that can accommodate such dependencies coming from the other party, hence it will not be a problem to find a room for ignition between such single mom and single guy.
One last thing is, for a single Mom, my advise, you are not in a position to be in a rush. You must learn the way of patience and calmness that you will be lucky enough to find such a guy who naturally is endowed with such heart that has that heart that can accommodate you and your dependencies. Trust me again, such men exist. They are here. Maybe you only hadn't got to such.
Annabel_Lee I am happy you admitted you dont think of yourself as been "unattractive" or "undesirable"! Many other reasons abound. This is just one easy to mention around here.
Do you think Christian people have less desire for relationships to divorced/single parents?
Posted : 10 Dec, 2012 08:53 PM
Hello Annabel_Lee :) I don�t think so because I never been married or never been a single mom but as being a single when I first join here on CDFF, my main purpose is to meet a single person like me� Oh I would like to make it clear I am not against of those divorced or single dad/mom. (My mother was a single mom too until now)Just sharing my personal reason� Whenever someone sending me winks and messages my first step was looking out for the status� if that person was divorce/or separated I am not interested to have a relationship (commitment) but I am still polite and willing to offer friendship. The funny thing was �MOST viewing and sending me winks/messages and showing interest are those I personally don�t really desire. I almost give up but I am holding on to the promise of God. (Psalm 37:4) Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desire of your heart. I do Trust Him completely. And after one year of being here, (I�m just waiting patiently) finally he found me. (Matt)
Just want to share this� I have a friend who was a single mom, she never thought that being a single mother would make her that undesirable....but no one wants to go out with her. The one guy she have been seeing has made it clear that they can date, but to never expect anything permanent with him because he didn't want to raise someone else's child. She has experienced rejection like she never thought was possible. But she learned a lot from it and she lives the life the way God intends now. She�s a great mom; she�s involved with a good church that can help her raise her son.
Maybe one day she�ll meet a man who is worthy of her trust� Please don't get discouraged or give up the search for your perfect partner or soul mate. BE PATIENT � we never know just what God has in store for us.
Do you think Christian people have less desire for relationships to divorced/single parents?
Posted : 11 Dec, 2012 07:15 AM
IamGodsPrincess, i must say you offered a great insight with some depth this time again. I think one of the thing we so feel bad about is being in the midst of crowd and still unnoticed! It would make anyone sad. It would read meanings to such an individual concerned, especially if that is not even the intention of those who overlooked. I later found, after days of being on here, that the whole of this site is like a market or supermart place where everyone is rushing to get his/her own gets, and often times because of these scrambling and rush-push, we often overlook what we are looking for cos our gaze and sights are set on some other things we consider more "likeable". But in all and at the end of the day, God didn't make provision for any to be at loss. He make provision for you and I to make GAIN!
Psalms 32:8 - King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.) "I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye."
Psalms 32:8 - GOD'S WORD� Translation (�1995) "[The LORD says,] "I will instruct you. I will teach you the way that you should go. I will advise you as my eyes watch over you."
@Annabel_Lee hold on and hang in there. He has a place for you. Do not be take off guard by the rushing and hustling on the site, everyone has his/her target, you might not be Mr A's target, but do you know you could be "Mr B's target? He may had been looking for you..But all the while your sights had been fixed on Mr "A". At times our desires are not ordered. Sometimes many of us dont know what we exactly wanted. At other times, those who know, dont really know where what they desire can be located, sometimes we are rigid in our desire. Some time they are not aligned with God's desire and however few times though they sync with God;s desire for us. Be not rigid. Allow God. be ready for any "GodSent" that come to you from God. Be sure the end will be peace.
Psalm 37:37 King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)"Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright: for the end of that man is peace." Your primary concern now should be how to be UPRIGHT and PERFECT and guardedly synced with the plan he has for you. Once those conditions are met, we can be sure of your marital peace is what is NEXT for us all to see!
Do you think Christian people have less desire for relationships to divorced/single parents?
Posted : 11 Jan, 2013 02:03 AM
I also have the same problem.I have been trying to get someone in this site but it seems its so hard.Sometimes i ask myself i'm i not attractive enough? I send messages to guys but some don't reply and those who reply say we cannot make a good match.
Do you think Christian people have less desire for relationships to divorced/single parents?
Posted : 1 Apr, 2013 02:04 PM
Don't feel like less because you're not seeing responses. Be thankful that you're not getting a ton of guys responding who haven't thought it out fully or are in it for the wrong things. I have a son...he's amazing. I want the best for him and for me. That means that I'm not going to settle for someone who isn't fully in it for the long haul you know? I don't want some guy responding who isn't sure that he's ok with my son. I work at a home for at-risk kids and you'd be amazed how many times couples get together and then realize the kids aren't their favorite part of the ordeal so the parents dismiss the kids and it causes all kinds of problems. No thanks. Don't want to be there someday.
I don't believe for one minute that we're any less appealing, but that, let's face it, there's alot more committment involved with a pre-packaged family than with one person. We must be honest. Only very strong people can handle the extra loads in life. I want a very strong man, knowing that he'll have to be stong to deal with more than one person to commit to. Guys, don't get all worked up thinking I'm saying those of you who don't respond aren't strong men. I'm not saying that, just that it takes someone special.
The long and short of it is...hang in there and NEVER feel like less because of what others may or may not think or feel for you. You only need to remember who God sees you as. You want to find the guy who fits the puzzle of your life, as I do, and it may take a while...hang in there. :)
Do you think Christian people have less desire for relationships to divorced/single parents?
Posted : 28 Jan, 2014 04:15 PM
Being a divorced mom (I will not ever say that I am Single, because I have been married...Single people have never been married...JMO)...I would have to say it depends on the person. I've been divorced almost 2 years now and I haven't had any problems with someone approaching me, on any dating sites.
I think that most people, Christians included, do not understand what God means when it says in Scripture about divorce. I didn't understand it and one day when I was at a low point my pastor spoke on the subject. It made my heart sing!!!
God doesn't like divorce because the woman is no longer under the protection or cover of the man! Not because it is a SIN!!! God covers us and protects us, but when a man and woman get married, the man in the Christian marriage, covers his wife and family.
I was unequally yoked with my ex-husband. I did not want to divorce because I didn't believe in it. But God's Peace and Mercy and Wisdom gave me the revelation, that this man that I had married, was not the man God had chosen for me.
If you are single and are interested in a man or woman that is divorced or a single parent...why not get to know them and understand why that is. Just don't ASSUME.
Don't ASSUME that because we are single parents that we want you to take on the responsibility of our children. Most of us aren't looking for a replacement parent. Some of us have perfectly good relationships with the other parent.
I have been fortunate enough that the men that I have talked to along my new journey as a divorced mom are not worried about the face that I have small children. They accept me for who I am and my family. I'm a package deal...my children come first before anything in a relationship. They get it.
Do you think Christian people have less desire for relationships to divorced/single parents?
Posted : 11 Mar, 2014 08:41 AM
I have much of the same problem. I find it really annoying when I tell men how many kids I have (four) and they stop talking to me. It is almost as tho I want to make a disclaimer RIGHT AWAY
1. THEY ARE ALL FROM THE SAME DAD
2. They were concieved out of love while I was in what I thought was a FAITHFUL MARRIAGE (at least it was on MY end)
3. I didn't ASK for my husband to walk away
4. I am NOT looking for someone to take care of my kids.. I am doing a find job myself and, their dad is in the picture... :rolleyes:
(long story)
It is annoying. They are happy, healthy, beautiful amazing kids who didn't ask for this ... in fact, neither did I. .. if someone doesn't want to talk to me because I have four kids, it is THEIR loss!
Do you think Christian people have less desire for relationships to divorced/single parents?
Posted : 20 Aug, 2014 06:09 PM
Blessedmom,
I have 5 ... all from the same mom ... all during faithful marriage, etc.
I know I'm not an attractive match for a single woman who is now ready to start a family. I'm hoping to find someone with both a similar situation to mine and a good match in all those other ways ... lifestyle choices, theology, etc.
But I'm sure I'll get a lot of the same reactions you're getting.
