How do let go of the anger and hate towards the parent of your child when all that parent does is intentionally try to hurt you and use your child to do it with?
I am in, what I thought was the final area, of my divorce from a very emotional unstable and physically violent woman who is also the mother of my 5 yr old daughter. This woman continues to verbally attack me and does actually use our daughter as a tool for her attacks on me. This is a constantly daily part of my life. I have turned to the legal system for assistance:stop: to get this woman to stop and leave me alone, but the legal system has been of very little help. Even had a restraining order on this woman, but our child custody settlement (which is now in uncertainty) lead to the restraining order being dropped. It will be a legal nightmare to have it reinstated against her. Lawyers and legal aid hasn�t made it any better or resolvable. I have turned to my faith for answers, but I think I lack something in it so that has not seem to helping. This part I have to fault myself on. I have turned to friends, but none seem to understand enough to help me in this. I have no family to turn to so that is not an option. I have a counselor, but they are unable to help as other issues seem to be a priority. Nothing seems to help. The more this woman strikes at me in verbal attacks, the more my anger and hate grows towards her. I don�t want this to happen, but it is. What happens if it grows to much? The answer concerns me and this is why I am asking how do I let the anger and hate go? I honestly don�t know what to do anymore and this woman is not going to stop in her attacks on me. She makes it very clear. So� ?
Pray for her.... I have found the best way to turn anger into love is to start by praying for the one or thing you are angry at or about. Every time you become angry at her or something she has done, pray for her and pray for her. Over time, your anger against her will turn into love for her...... christ love. Don't hate her but hate the sin... the wrongs she performs. Apart from God's grace, we could all be at that level or lower.
me too been angry and cry a lot always but because of my family loving i start to move on . I let God decide and leads my way because i know i wont go wrong and he knows what best for me.. AMEN.. as of now i growing up more with God.
I would recommend the book, "Love is a Choice" written by Dr Minirith, Dr Meier and Dr. Hemfelt. It is a POWERFUL book. It helped to turn my life completely around. It gives practical advice on how to look at the situation and how to overcome. You can only change you, that is the bottom line of what these others are saying, that is true. God will help you to see things differently while He is busy bringing healing to your heart. God bless, it takes a determination to change, some hard work but I promise you on the other side it feels GREAT! Truly the book is life changing.
It is always a tragic situation when either parent chooses to use their child to intentionally control or lash out to hurt the other parent. Children are truly a gift from God.
It is a good thing that you are intune to relize the situation for what it is. The best thing to do is cut off the behavior from your ex before it should carry into a new relationship.
I know you have good reason to feel justified in the anger you are feeling...but maybe you could file for mediation..it is never good if the child constantly feels torn between two parents and has to decide which parent to side with.
Be praying that God guides you in this situation and God allows for forgiveness to flow in both your hearts for the sake of your daughter..and I know forgiveness is easier said than done..but bitterness and hate left unchecked will cause a whole new array of problems if not given to God...just want you to know that I am praying over your situation...many blessings in Christ Jesus....ff
Turn your anger into actions, I mean good actions guided by God in favor of your realtionship with your child.
I agree it is important that you forgive her always and countinously, that you pray for her every day, but only God knows when she will change, and while she changes, you and your daughter deserve respect and a good relationship and you have to strive for it.
In my case after 5 years of waiting changes in the mother of my daughters, I had to go to the legal system as well as assitance from a foundation called "Fathers for ever" (in spanish "Padres por siempre"), in their website there are some useful links http://www.padresporsiempre.com/.
Surely in your country there are also people organized around this, you can look for example Parental Alienation Syndrome http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_alienation_syndrome
Some of the verses in Bible that have helped me are Mathew 18:15-17, Jos 1:9, Psalm 27:10, Isa 54:17.
Of course pray always asking God for His direction and be sensible to His answers (in my case usually around 2:00AM when He awakes me and praying I understand what I have to do).
