Hello sisters. I'd like some answers to this question that has bothered me for some time because it causes me to be confused about the dating process...
Why SHOULD MEN PURSUE if it's up to the Lady to choose the man she wants?
Why not just the ladies choose the man by messaging him, and the guy pursue her from that point after? What say you? (and yes I already know the biblical example of Christ pursuing his bride, but online dating is tooootally different and coupled with our feministic culture, it sets up a double-work effort for most men; the cuties have it easy)
If this was a stupid topic, then why is it picking up speed with so many viewers tuning in? I'm just addressing the elephant in the room concerning an imbalance I see in our Christian cultural mindset "ONLINE". I would definitely get wayyy more success finding a lady in person, thing is, finding her in America these days is like finding a needle in a haystack since more and more people are forming social relationships via Facebook, dating sites, social media. Cyber-buddies is fine for awhile but its not the same as the REAL THING IN REAL LIFE. Now, you aren't afraid of SHOWING YOUR INTEREST to guys, I think, because you're older, probably more wiser (maturer) and are done with the traditional mindset. I agree with the previous commentator here that the christian pattern of men pursuing and the women waiting for the guy IS OVER...it's been over since Dating went ONLINE. This is why I ask initially in my OP (original post) above: why are so many christian women not going after the men? Why assume a gospel (Men pursue the lady) thing since online dating takes the "RISK of Rejection factor" out of the equation for MEN ? What used to separate the Men from the boys in REAL LIFE WAS HIS COURAGE to initiate contact with the women and his presentation within social circles or social settings. I think Men are neutered online ---MAKING cuteness/ handsomeness and financial status/social status what separates us from each other. I don't believe men can demonstrate courage online because it can only be seen with the eyes/ heard with our ears. They can't demonstrate integrity or chivalry/ masculinity/ actions online. Also, so much is missed online: tonality of voice, facial expressions, odor (lol), speech, attitude, demeanor, THE WHOLE PERSON virtually. Anyone can hide behind a screen and not be a real person. I think online dating has cheapened the search process for SOMEONE TO MARRY --VERY, VERY MUCH. And I get that there's a trade-off when using online dating. I'm just saddened to see so many more folks choosing this mode of dating over real life interaction.
I believe the SOLUTION to this unfair, imbalance in ONLINE DATING is just for 80%-90% of Men to just walk away from All Dating Sites. And that should end any double benefit to the ladies and balance out the Dating Field for most men.
What say you fellow neighbors !!?
Because in general a great majority of women tend to go after the BEST of the BEST Men on the site [which is probably 5% of the men here. When I say 'the creme of the crop of men' I mean, according to what Most women want in a guy (which is the FULL PACKAGE DEAL, the perceived perfection]. Ever heard of 'Hypergamy'? Hypergamy (colloquially referred to as "dating up" or "marrying up") is a term used in social science for the act or practice of a person dating or marrying a spouse of higher social status or sexual capital than themselves.
That will just shift the burden not change anything.
The only reason online dating even exists is that apart from it's use for promiscuity it's the last method a lot of people have left in the modern world for social interaction with the opposite sex.
It's a solution to a problem, not a problem in itself. It's a symptom not a cause. The only way to fix this imbalance is for people to start speaking the truth to the deluded about the real nature of the sexes instead of feeding the currently socially acceptable fantasies.
Woman are natural orthodoxy enforcers, they never create new orthodoxies. The current feminist orthodoxy ironically was invented by men for the benefit of their political long term goals... woman just think that it was woman that did it because it feeds their ego's but the current generation only believes all the nonsense it does because of revolutionary activity that brainwashed the past generations with beautiful lies.
The problem is even conservative woman are infected with extremist feminist ideologies like woman must never under any circumstance let men make the rules for woman..... but it's perfectly fine in their eyes for woman to make the rules for men. A lot of the time it's so subtle no one notices until it goes wrong and someone loses and eye.
Ironically the only cure for a majority of woman afflicted this way is to get married and get children forcing them into reality which works like a massive spanking that resets their brains to default settings. You see this constantly, in youth a radical feminist and when the drivel starts to negatively affect her children suddenly its a massive crisis.
Online Dating does have it's benefits, but also it's defects. There's a TRADE-OFF when using online dating sites as compared to the old fashion way of meeting people (IN PERSON). I just think that people ought to return back to the old fashion way of doing things because the online dating has only worsened people, not bless or improve them (generally speaking). There will always be exceptions to the rule or those who are exceptions to the norm.
Do you recommend I marry a FEMINIST WOMAN who wants to lead and run the family, in hopes of 'converting her back to traditional ways' by having children? The Bible teaches to avoid those kinds of women.
Most men on free sites aren't willing to travel to meet unless they are seeking a mate/ spouse from overseas. Many foreign relationships are formed on CDFF.
When it comes to traveling to meet a date I think s msn should come to the Lady.
Brightknight146 one of the things that online dating and social media has done is open up access for most women to men from all over the world. It also means that most women get inundated with messages from dirt farmers to top tiered men.
What that has done to most women is given them an extremely overinflated ego which translates into a false impression of their value in the dating world.
Because of that most have fallen victim to that ego and believe just because some wealthy or famous man has messaged them that they are someone very special and deserve only top notch men.
But what they fail to realize is that most if not all of these top notch men are looking to just hit it and quit it. And even if women do know it, most want to believe that if they're out there long enough their tall wealthy Knight in Shinning Armor is going to come along and sweep them off their feet.
The problem with that thinking is there's millions of other women just like them doing the same thing. But there's only a few thousand tall wealthy men in their age range and those men have their pick of "millions of women".
So the chances of a "Knight in Shinning Armor" showing up is less then 1% and even if it's pointed out how small the chance is most still won't waiver from their worthless pursuit.
That highlights one of the differences between the genders. Men deal in probabilities and women deal in possibilities so as long as there's even a remote chance most women will stick to their guns.
So where does that leave most average men? Completely out of luck in western societies. Which is why many men are moving to other countries to meet & marry women who still appreciate an average man.
Also women look at photo first...We cannot know a person by just attracted to photo or by just reading a profile, scammers can also put an attracted profile info and attracted photos...Talk to the person...
