Ladies, Why Do Women Send Subliminal Messages to Men?
Posted : 16 Feb, 2023 08:42 PM
La Mia Veritas: I am at a loss, for real. Almost out of my wits end wondering why most women send subliminal signals taht are beyond the cconscious comprehension of the average joe seeking for true love online. From a woman's point of view, when you're asking those probing, closed, and open-ended questions before you even communicate verbally or meet face to face with the guy, what specifically are you driving at? And should a man be expected to tell all to a "stranger" he may never meet in person? How few or how much is enough to constitute compelling assurance for you?
Ladies, Why Do Women Send Subliminal Messages to Men?
Posted : 21 Feb, 2023 06:18 PM
Dear Professor Prince, your posts are indeed “quote-worthy” and rich! I decided to copy and paste your whole thing. I’m placing your name with your comments followed by my name and my responses
PRINCE: Very nice, 1jon310, but I think that the "religious test" for dating or marital relationship isa false litmus test for real love.
L’DAVID: Prince, just a suggestion, you really ought define your terminology. In that way you can avoid being charged with equivocation. For example, you’ve been confusing the real God of the Bible, who actually created the universe, with false religions, false gods and counterfeit Christianity's.
PRINCE: My point is that love, dating, marriage, friendship and all forms of interpersonal relationships are universal among humans. Pagans, Muslims, Buddhists, Atheists, Christians, the godless, and the godly all respond to, and practice these things. Some are successful, others are not - depending on unique / individual circumstances.
L’DAVID: once again, for some reason you won’t objectively define your terminology or justify your many subjective suppositions. For example: HOW do you know all these forms of false religions that you mentioned even believe in dating⁉️ HOW do you know they are all “universal”. WHAT criteria or who are you using as authoritative sources on which you base your opinions⁉️
PRINCE: Data and most recent surveys on marriages and divorces measured by many indicia, including religion, does not point to better successful love experiences among Christians than among non-Christians. In fact, the converse is true.
L’DAVID: Prince, come now. Surely you don’t just accept any-0-survey result without asking yourself WHO conducted the survey? or WHAT was the original purpose for the survey? or HOW do the surveyors define terminology, for example, how do they define the word “Christian”? Prince, this sort of lackadaisical methodology used for drawing conclusions would be unacceptable even at the junior level‼️But you claim have achieved a PhD‼️
PRINCE: In fact you can see the bitterness, wrath, and chagrin of most so-called "Christians" right here on mere discussion of topics. In my view, religion is NOT the great equalizer in dating, love, or marital relationships. You can be married to a "Walking Bibe Spouse" and experience your worst nightmare from him or her.
L’DAVID: come now Prince, how does all your ad hominem attacks move your case forward⁉️
PRINCE: Opposing views are welcome
L’DAVID: thanks, I do feel the love. 😅 Prince, debate is a tough job. You must learn to adjust to the give and take of debate without hurling accusations and name calling at those who oppose you. But with me, you’re welcome to call me any name you wish and to sport your innuendos. If that’s giving it your best, by all means, have at it. I’m so used to that kind of exchange, in fact, I would be disappointed if it didn’t occur 🤣😇
Ladies, Why Do Women Send Subliminal Messages to Men?
Posted : 21 Feb, 2023 10:01 PM
Hi again. Thanks for the reply!
I've been wondering what kind of extreme these women go to to make you feel like an interrogation or a job-interview. I guess that is the part of meeting people online, you can't get their vibe face to face immediately and have to use conversation and ofter questions to make the conversation flow to get to know someone and their heart and mission in life.
I do have some experience myself with finding out a man is not living the christian life I do expect from a potential partner, and had to terminate our chat before ever meeting up after asking about his church habits and daily walk with the Lord. Many men confess they aren't in any church at all, or never pray, seek the Lord, worship or read the Bible although calling themselves christians.
When it comes to other types of questions I have started to ask what a guy does, not to figure out how much he makes, but to figure out if he has a job at all. If he tells me he has a job I continue with asking what made him choose that kind of job and what he loves abouthis job to make the conversation more insightful.
I also make sure to ask what he is looking for in a woman and what he wants in the future for his everyday life and what his goals and dreams are to see if we are heading somewhat in the same direction. I feel like these areas of questions aren't unnessesary and need to be a part of online dating to figure out if there might be a path forward. Asking him about his favorite colour, favorite movie or what his parents names are could definately be saved for later. Better ask about some of the people that are important to him, and what he is doing or watching if he is in need of a good laugh.
Maybe being more creative with the questions makes them sound less like an interrogation and more like an actual conversation, like the ones we have face to face.
Ladies, Why Do Women Send Subliminal Messages to Men?
Posted : 22 Feb, 2023 05:34 AM
Only a man with something to hide would avoid answering these kinds of questions you’ve posed. They’re polite and no real man would shrink because you asked them‼️ KEEP ASKING‼️Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise ‼️
Ladies, Why Do Women Send Subliminal Messages to Men?
Posted : 22 Feb, 2023 07:53 PM
NotSettllingYet, thank you for your insightful post and recommendations. To enrich the discussion, here's some nuggets I found in my research on this issue. These are so good that I have adopted them into my profile to guide me and any future dating prospect. Like my disclaimer affirmed, I did not author the ideas or words. Happy reading:
Disclaimer: I am not the author of any of the following. The words and ideas were Directly Culled from Public Access Articles that I found very helpful in my personal quest to find a successful marital relationship. The authors and online publisher are fully credited below and at the end.
Online Dating Questions: (by Tessa Petak, 2022).
• What do you do for a living?
• What are some goals or aspirations you have in your career?
• What has been your favorite vacation? ("Asking this question on a first date will open up a conversation about where your date has traveled and if you are both into the same types of vacation destinations," says Sullivan.)
• What's the most interesting fact you know?
• What is your ultimate favorite meal?
• What is your all-time favorite movie/show?
• Do you have any hobbies?
• What's your favorite holiday? ("This question may give you an insight into your date's religion based on the answer, which can be an important part of a relationship," says Sullivan.)
• Are you more of a morning or night person?
• How many siblings do you have?
• What is the level of commitment you are looking for, generally speaking?
Dr. Jenn Mann (2022): Recommended Online First Date Questions -
Travel Questions
A study by psychologist Richard Wiseman found that talking about travel is a very successful dating topic. According to his research, couples who talked about travel wanted a second date 18 percent of the time, whereas those who talked about movies only wanted a second date 9 percent of the time. A few fun questions to ask about travel are:
1. What amazing adventures have you been on?
2. What is the best vacation you’ve ever been on?
3. Where is a place you have always wanted to go to but have never been?
4. What place have you traveled to that was better than you expected?
Passions Question
As Stanger points out, people tend to feel good when they talk about things they are passionate about — and in turn, feel good about their date. Asking questions about the things in their life that spark joy allows you to learn about your date and to see if your interests and values align. Some questions, along these lines, that you could ask are:
1. Are you working on any passion projects right now?
2. What's your favorite way to spend your free time?
3. Who is the most fascinating person you’ve met?
4. What hobbies would you get into if you had unlimited time and money?
5. What new skills have you learned or activities have you done recently?
6. What are you always game to do?
7. What is the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
Entertainment Questions
Entertainment-related topics are always a fun way to connect. They allow you to see if you have the same taste and intellectual interests, and they may even turn you on to something that you hadn't heard about.
1. What was the last book you really got into?
2. What TV series do you keep coming back to you and re-watching?
3. What was the last show you binge-watched?
4. What are your favorite apps on your phone?
5. What are your favorite podcasts?
Career and Lifestyle
Getting a bird’s-eye view of what a day in the life of your date typically looks like can help you figure out if you are compatible. Some simple lifestyle compatibility questions you can ask are:
1. What is a typical workday like for you?
2. What about the weekends?
3. What is the most surprising thing that happened to you in the past week?
4. What drew you to your work?
5. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
6. What is your most important outlet to help you de-stress?
7. How much alone time do you tend to need?
8. Which do you prefer, big parties or small gatherings?
Family, Friends, and Upbringing
We can learn a lot about a person from the company they keep. The atmosphere we grew up in, our parents and siblings leave a lasting impression, so learning about those people in your date's life will give you valuable information. Also, social preferences, comforts, and discomforts can be very telling. Some questions you can ask in this area are:
1. Who are your closest friends and why?
2. What friendships have impacted you the most?
3. What was your relationship like with your parents growing up?
4. How close are you with them today (do you talk on the phone once a day, once a month)?
5. Where did you grow up?
6. How would your friends and family describe you as a kid? In high school?
Relationship Goals and Priorities
When looking for a long-term partner, you want to find out if the person at the table with you is looking for the same. It is also important to find out their views on relationships. In this day and age, you should never assume that person you are on a date with wants monogamy. These are important questions to ask to help you find out about your date's relationship history and get a sense of what they're looking for in the future:
1. What are you looking for in a relationship?
2. What are your thoughts on monogamy?
3. Do you see yourself getting married?
4. If divorced, how did you like being married?
5. How long have you been single?
Religion and Politics
While we always hear that we should avoid talking about politics and religion, if you’re looking to spend your life with someone and these issues are important to you, you are going to want to touch on them during that first date. Instead of pulling Bible verses and doctrines on him / her I recommend asking questions that will give you a sense of how your date feels about issues that are important to you, without getting too intense and argumentative.
1. What religion were you raised in?
2. Is that religion still part of your life?
3. Do you consider yourself to be spiritual?
4. How do you feel about the upcoming election?
5. Have you ever had politics or religion end a relationship that was important to you?
6. Have you ever been to a protest or a rally?
7. What social justice issues are you most passionate about?
First Date Don'ts
Here are a few topics that you should avoid on a first date — plus general tips for making the best impression.
Don’t ignore the red flags.
The two biggest reasons why people ignore red flags are because they are super attracted to their date or because they have already created the fantasy of the marriage they plan to have with this person. Keep your eyes wide open no matter how hot someone is.
Stay away from sex.
Sex is super important in a relationship — after you get to know each other [if mutually acceptable, unless you’re both for post-marriage sex]. Once you're with someone, understanding their preferences (and vice-versa) is super important, but you do not need to find this out on a first date.
If you spend a lot of time talking about sex, you are not going to be getting to know each other intellectually and emotionally, which should be your focus on date one. And if your date pressures you to take things physical before you're comfortable, that is a red flag.
Don’t talk money.
Sure, you want to make sure that the person in front of you is a hard worker or has the same priorities about saving as you do, but there are ways to go about this. Offering to split the bill if you are doing a dinner date, or seeing what they offer/suggest when it's payment time should tell you more about your compatibility than asking how much they're taking home.
Throw away your checklist.
Marriage counseling experts say that they see too many women with a vision of what their future husband will look like on paper — so they rule out great men who don't have everything on the list. For example, you may want to reconsider how much weight you place on a specific college degree or a physical attribute like height or skin color.
Avoid yes or no questions.
Always ask open-ended questions. Yes or no questions tend to hit a brick wall pretty fast, while open-ended ones allow the conversation to keep flowing, even if either of you is nervous.
Skip the pick-up lines.
Stranger says: “Cheesy pick-up lines do not work. This is especially important for men to know. Most women have heard them all, and they’re so generic that they do not make the receiver feel special at all. I once went out on a blind date, way back before social media, and the guy greeted me by telling me that he had dreamt of me all night. The fact that he was wearing a whale tie and a fanny pack did not help his cause. Needless to say, it was a short date.”
De-stress before the date.
Take the time to clear your head and get relaxed before a date. If your boss yelled at you and you’re stressed out, you can’t stop obsessing about the pimple on your cheek, or you just had a fight with your mother, you will bring that energy into the date. Take the time to meditate, do some deep breathing, or whatever it takes for you to let the stress go. If you find that your self-esteem or how you feel about yourself is distracting you on the date, these are issues I'd recommend talking through with a therapist.
Conclusion
At the end of the day, every single person that you go on a date with has something to teach you, enlighten you about, or share with you. Even if they don't turn into your life partner, it’s worth listening closely and paying attention. You could find out about something meaningful that will change your life, or something as small as a great new restaurant recommendation. All you have to do is ask.
Direct Sources:
Dr. Jenn Mann (2022). The Best First Date Questions – Plus What to Avoid Talking About. InStyle. https://www.instyle.com/lifestyle/first-date-questions
Tessa Petak (2022). The Questions You Should Be Asking Romantic Prospects When Online. InStyle. https://www.instyle.com/lifestyle/questions-to-ask-online-dating
