I know there's more out there on this topic to check me a horse but I wanted to throw out my read from the bible and get some feedback. This is maybe half of what I believe applies but I'll initially condense it to get the discussion going without branching off in too many directions from the get-go.
I believe that divorce is tolerated by God (allowing for remarriage) as the lesser of evils in the event of an extremely unpleasant and chronically sinful martial environment which also conforms to, literally, "the nakedness of a/the thing." (Duet 24). The precise meaning of this has been debated by Jews for thousands of years but the English phrase that I believe best describes it is "objectively obscene."
Objective:
b : a phenomenon or condition in the realm of sensible experience independent of individual thought and perceptible by all observers
c : perceptible to persons other than the affected individual
Obscene:
1 disgusting to the senses : repulsive
a : abhorrent to morality or virtue
c : repulsive by reason of crass disregard of moral or ethical principles
Since the obscene attitude and associated behavior would be severe enough as to be impossible to hide, there should be a major consensus as to the magnitude of the sinfulness among mature Christians involved in the life of the married couple in question. Jesus, when questioned by the Pharisees (Matt. 19), gave justification for the "sending away" (not legal divorce) of ones wife only for adultery. This, the most liberal school of Jewish thought (Hillel) was probably asked to drive a wedge between Jesus and his female followers since like OT law, Jesus' teachings and practices empowered them. The prescription for sending ones wife away was because under the Mosaic law, adultery was punishable by death, not divorce. Hence, a divorce certificate was a pointless endeavor. Either she was convicted and executed or exonerated and returned to the marriage. The Pharisees next question then addresses legal divorce as referenced in the law in Duet. Jesus de facto acknowledged the justifiable law with distain for the root cause, hardness of heart. I see this as callousness toward God which results in the martial environment covered above.
The NT then adds willful, causeless, and incurable desertion to the list of justifiable divorce and eligibility for remarriage (1 Cor. 7:15). Ultimately summarized and stated therein, "God has called us to live in peace." The Prince of Peace apparently sees peace for our lives as the greater good over and above moral chaos or undeserved abandonment. Amen? I hate divorce as God does but even He exercised it through the prophet Jeremiah toward his then bride, Israel (chapter 3), demonstrating this principle of the greater good - lesser of evils. Could it be that the NT church is a picture of God's remarriage?
Here is a plain reading of the event as combined, cut, and pasted from Matt 19 & Mark 10 since it is accepted as the same event. The KJV for 'divorce' that should be translated 'put away' is correctly in place.
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, �Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for any and every reason?�
�Haven�t you read,� he replied, �But at the beginning of creation God �made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.�
�Why then,� they asked, �did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?�
Jesus replied, �Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who puts away his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.�
When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, �Anyone who puts away his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she puts away her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.�
I don't think it can be any clearer than that. God allowed for divorce, as referenced in Duet 24 along with the attitude/expression of this hardness of heart, for the good of all. Granted, a lesser good than the ideal for marriage.
