Thank you all for your responses. It's good to know that this happens to everyone. It's also Bad! I don't believe these ladies are scammers and they are still on the site. My letters have been read and I see them online some times. I kinda figured they just changed their minds or lost interest, maybe met someone else.
Maybe some of you ladies (and men) can shed a little light on this:
On several dating sites (most recently, this one) I'll write to a woman and ask if she'd like to share a few emails to see what we might have in common, see if we hit it off.
Many times I've gotten a response indicating that she'd like that. Naturally, I get my hopes up. I write her a note asking a few questions and sharing a bit about me. Then I wait... and wait...
After a good week or so, I'll write again... "How are things with you?... still like to hear from you", that type of thing. I wait again...
Nothing! Never hear from her again! It's frustrating. I'd prefer a "sorry, I don't think we're a good match" after the first email. How hard is that?
I'd like to think that as Christians, we'd have enough consideration for other's to shoot out a quick email. It kind of makes it hard to be optimistic about writing to someone new.
So ladies, do guys do this a lot too? And guys, have you had this happen much? Or have I just happened across some "wishy-washy" girls? Am I doing something wrong?
For me, beauty is a combination of the inner AND outer aspects of a woman. I have seen many (and known some) outwardly beautiful women who's inner qualities made them very unattractive to me. The reverse is also true. I have known women who were not outwardly very attractive but possesed inner qualities that made them very beautiful!
I think that in general, men are more "visually" wired than women, but don't jump to the conclusion that this is always a bad thing! The different inner qualities that men and women have reveal somethig of God's character. We're both, male and female, created in His image!
"The story of Eve holds such rich treasures for us to discover. The essence and purpose of a woman are unveiled here in the story of her creation. These profound, eternal, mythic themes are written not just here in the coming of Eve, but in the soul of every woman after. Woman is the crown of creation�the most intricate, dazzling creature on earth. She has a crucial role to play, a destiny of her own.
"And she, too, bears the image of God. But in a way that only the feminine can speak. What can we learn from her? God wanted to reveal something about himself, so he gave us Eve. When you are with a woman, ask yourself, What is she telling me about God? It will open up wonders for you.
"First, you�ll discover that God is relational to his core, that he has a heart for romance. Second, that he longs to share adventures with us�adventures we cannot accomplish without him. And finally, that God has a beauty to unveil. A beauty that is captivating and powerfully redemptive."
Our local Christian radio station has a "Saturday Night Alternative" show that runs for about 5 hours every week. You can listen on line and maybe hear lots of bands you might not otherwise be exposed to.
Here is a link: http://www.wwib.com/programmingd.asp?d=7 Just tcruise around the site and you'll find the details!
I listen to some secular music too but I stay away from bad lyrics and music that just sounds nasty, angry or evil. I have heard bands that made "spiritual hair" stand on end! Music is powerful stuff and shouldn't be taken lightly.
My ex and I are 13 years apart. I think the difference in our maturity levels was sometimes a problem, but she was only 18 when we married (we were not Christians at the time). On the other hand, I believe she helped me to be more "young at heart".
I set my age preferences on this site to 33 to 50 (I'm 47 this month). My ex is 33 years old now. While the same age gap would be present if I married a 33 year old, obviously she would be more mature than an 18 year old (hopefully... lol!) and we'd likely have more shared experience due to simply living longer. Maturity levels would likely be more closely matched. I don't believe maturity would be as much an issue as it was during my marriage.
A certain age difference is not going to give you a certain maturity difference. Arguing statistics is pointless... all 33 year olds are not at the same maturity levels. I can be pretty goofy... sometimes, I'm not the most mature 47 year old, but I have fun!
The bottom line IMHO is the two specific people in question. My opinion is that anyting over about a ten year age difference should be more carefully and prayerfully considered before commitment than people much closer in age, just because of the potential differences.
If I felt that a 33 year old was "the one" for me, and I really believed that God meant for us to be together, I wouldn't hesitate to persue her.
So... Shunammite, I think an age range of 44 - 47 is perfectly reasonable for you. As an older man who was married to an younger woman, she kept me young and motivated! As a younger woman considering an older man, think about maturity levels, physical activity levels (some of our joints don't work as well as they used to!) and spiritual levels - being equally yoked.
Hope some of this helps - Good luck and god bless!
