I just had to vent..lol..read at your own risk! j/k
Posted : 20 Sep, 2009 04:36 PM
You know, What really helped me was getting to understand the type of person god created me. God says to seek a mate of godly character and to be equally yoked. Well, To me that means compatibility and having a god centered of their life.
If you join Christian mingle, even if you aren't goin to pay; they have a test called "the color code test". In their, They give your specific color type and what your traits are, then they go into details like : what your needs, whats, what makes you hot, what makes you not etc.. Then, They take it a step further and show how compatible you are with the other code personailities. IT shows what the potential hazards and the potential pluses being with each color, in correlation with your personality. SO for example, I scored blue, and it all actuality you can make a relationship work with any color/person; just some take an incredible amount of work and when you have a relationship with god to be concerned about, kind just complicates things anywayz. Anyways, I'm a blue and My natural color type is a yellow.
I've have notice a huge difference, looking for someone that is closer compatible personality wise, than as opposed, to what first appeals to my eyes naturally. IF you look at the dating site success stories, you often see people being end up together that you never would of thought could hit it off but that's just because we've been fed non-sense hollywood matching.
Anyways, I second what the post stated above. God answers are prayers, when we have faith he will and take a step in purseing the step in that direction.
Cindy, i think many others can relate to your situation. As the one poster pointed out above, "Consider yourself lucky'!!" Usually the people that don't attract much attention, end up having the longest and most fullfilling relationship/relationships. It's something about not having alot of something in life, and then finally getting it; when you become totally appreciative of it and cherish it forever.
The guy that will fall for you, will be the one truly in my estimation. Theirs alot of girls on here, that do get asked alot and are constanstly seeked by men; but their usually the ones that either end up pregnant and alone, constanstly letting their hearts being carried of by men, go through multiple divorces, and just end up miserable and keep continueing the cycle. usually, they have these ultra high standards for the men they want in their lifes, based on the type of men that they constantly attract. As oppose, to someone in your situation, where you just want one guy to pay attention to you and your willing to be more forgiving and have high standards on character, rather than attitude persona.
if you end up finding him, you'll end up being together forever (whenever the world ends). Anyways, as far as advice goes: Take care of yourself, develop your christian character/god given gifts..personality, and more importantly your relationship with him. The more you develop your relationship/friendship with God, The less you'll feel lonely and the more hopeful you'll be in finding a mate. Practice all the spiritual disclaplines everyday and be sensitive to the holy spirits leading, don't worry; When your living for god or even doing something outisde of searching, he'll come along.
I'm not blaming hollywood because everyone has a "Choice" in following an influence; Also, hollywood or the world doesn't know any better, so offcourse their going to keep putting out the stuff they do.
I'm just saying take into account christian character, instead of the sensuality. It tough, because women, let alone people today; are just as or close to being as sensual as back in noahs time. I mean sure, i could act all egostical and pretend a fake confidence and lure women that way; It works, i've peak womens interest that way before but its just plain wrong. Usually, it involves some flirtacious, sexual innuedo or the latest gossip or slander about someone else; to even make conversation applealing to the person. It's sad we have gotten to that point today but it's a reality.
I mean think about it, would most gir'sl consider dating one of the DUGGAR Boys, As opposed to someone from the Cast of Jackass or some other mtv reality show. Whats the big difference between the two....."Sensuality" or Attitude..
i was just wondering if any other guy struggles with ego or to "puff" oneself up in attempting to seem more presentable and attractable to women? It's a challenge to remain both Humble and Confident, especially, when we live in a culture infested by media influence constantly defining what is a attractable man's : attitude, body movment, speech patterns, intellect etc.. If people don't believe me when I say this, Just start strolling through the profiles, at all the single teenage, early 20's mothers; Let alone all of the single mothers period. I guranteed with you if a guy was truly in the word, he would to stayed and supported that child. lol sometimes you just want jesus to come down and tell you exactly what the bible means and what is right n wrong exacty lol.
Especially, for those guys who seem to be more people oriented, than task oriented. Lol sometimes you just feel like it's a no win situation. The bible has power in transforming who you are from the inside out and you can't live both in the word and of the world. The bible even states : People will hate my ways; Usually, because it has something to do with taking the "you" out of the equation and putting him..
It's just tough when your talking to a girl and yet, theirs a guy who obviously isn't a believer and is being all sensual and confident in his own abilities and shes drawn to him with His : Cool, Laidback speech and his friendly and inviting advances. Has the world of Hollywood sensuality and dating mentality brainwashed all of us to an extent! The whole hollwood scenes of "Falling in love" or this is what "falling in love or the sequence of falling in love saying you can't be upfront in your intentions and their ast to be this long, drawn out "feeling" whether your right for eachother or not. lol sometimes you just want jesus to come down and tell you exactly what the bible means and what is right n wrong exacty lol.
I appologize of the rant comes on strong, just need to rant and let off some frustrations. I tend to real and upfront, so they make seem unattractive to some of you but thats what happens you experience hardships; you have no choice but to be real.
Miracles has some pretty good insight.. I have only been on this site for less than a month or so and I have definetly felt both extremes coming from women on here.
SOme women are understanding and even though they are not interested, they mail you back anyways with a reply or a thank you, and some are like those chicks in highschool, that will never talk to you; even if you are a christian and show great character. People are People when it comes down to it. We all have our certain perferences and we tend to like what popular or the norm. Sometimes, we let our guards to much around people who are christian, because we hold them to a higher standard and automatically think they are flawless or past the sinful nature; Which, we all know thats just not true. SOme christian are further along in their walk than others and some you can't even tell secular from christian it seems like.
But don't get to down, just look at is as " Shes not the one" and move on the next girl. Winks have their place but it's probably better to not "initially" wink to begin intereaction. Remember, women LIke conversations where they can put their own personal input. SO, make sure your message includes some form of question or a place where they can play a part in roleplaying.
I would message those girls, in which fit what you are looking for or post it in your profile. I myself, have a paticular type aswell and their seems to be alot of success, atleast from a conversation standpoint.
Wow, I was just offering my opinion on the matter. you can either take my advice or you can politely decline. No need to get all defensive becausee I was meaning good by what i was writeing. This information was based how the complaints i've read on multiple sites and what women have said themselves, inregards to a man's profile. you can choose not to believe me and ask a woman for yourself.
It Depends on what you messaging them for; Are you messaging them in being romanticallly interested?
If so, YOu have to realize that you may not be want they are looking for. Glancing over at your profile, You pictures are very similiar and to generic. Many guys have rthese type of pictures in their profile and it won't do them any justice. Women are looking for something "different", something that standouts from the sheer masses of profiles they view on a day to day basis.
Try taking multiple shots displaying each side of your personality. Have SOme pictures with family, some of a hobby, an intererst, a belief you have on something (ex recycling), One at your job, one with some friends/at church, something interesting about you that doesn't fall under what's already been mention.
You have to let people have their perferences and Ideas and pray that if it is true that they do have some prejudices/racism; that god will convict them of it but they have the choice to change.
In the meantime, draw closer to christ and let him change your from the inside. Than, you'll be able to handle rejection alittle bit better and realize that she may not be the one or they're just not as friendly as you would like.
Dude, I understand where you are coming from and I can truly say its a "heart" issue. The truth of the matter is: anyone can be nice. It's not hard, especially if you are a manipulator. The problem is we compare ourselves to much to other people, saying that we're more: Polite, courteous, genuine, responsible than said group of people/person etc.. You can't compare yourself to other people, rather than to god's standard.
As guys, we all can be jerks to some degree to other people. it's just some guys have personalities where it's easily displayed more than others.
Women hate both extremes (passive/desperate, rude/cockyness). The truth of the matter is women want a guy that is worthy to carry their child. What do I mean by that: A woman wants a guy that is able to stand up on his own/have some sort of back bone, a guy that can provide for them financially and make them "Feel" security, Fun, emoutional support, committment etc..
Being nice will get you know where, unless you are established in knowing who you are and where you are going. To many nice guys try to bank on their sensitive nature, to get a woman's attention and they fail miserable. You have to be able to provide some evidence that you do have a life, outside of finding a wife. Their nothing more attractive to a woman, than a Guy than knows where he is going and accepts who is and is not set in his ways
If you have more emoutional baggage in your life, than she does; odds are she will not see you as Husband material. The husband is suppose to be her rock and if you can't provide her basic needs; she will plainly over look you. Women like confidence, whether it be a false confidence in ones abilities or in God, They just like a guy who is optimistic and willing to pull through the storm.
You seem to strike me as a insecure, depressed, hurt, passive person and if that is the case, the women have clued on that tooo.
My advice would be learn more about the person god created you to be and work to perfect that. Understand your strengths and weaknesses and focus on developing your relationship on christ. Once you have confidence in your relationship with christ, the more confident you'll be.
