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david3by9 View Profile	Im finding it hard.. Posted : 17 Dec, 2009 12:50 PM Getting to know someone on the internet is not like real life. It is just a place where we are introduced to people. True relationship happens only in real life, so the potential for connection is there, you just have to see it as means to an end, not connection itself. It is a tool that can be used for your benefit.
david3by9 View Profile	Outward looking in Posted : 15 Dec, 2009 11:01 AM Everyone has great points. Ultimately if we focus on God. Grow in our relationship with Him, we will have desire for the things that are godly. I don't nor will I spent all my waking hours wondering if I am having evil motives. The Holy Spirit convinces and convicts. He lives within me and keeps me on the right path. I choose instead to focus on those things that as Phil says, praiseworthy. We can try to exam everyone elses motives whether they be men or women, but ONLY God truly sees why people do what they do. If someone is shallow and is a believer, the hardships of life, trials and the like will work on that for sure. Depth comes as we seek Him the the fodder of difficulty, not because we are attractive or unattractive, overweight or thin, beautiful or plain. I have met plain people who were ungodly and I have met beautiful and handsome men and woman who were godly. It is not how we look on the outside that determines our character, it is how we respond to things we face in life. It is not a sin to be beautiful, we are just not to lean on this for our support. Neither riches, nor status, nor fame, nor marital situation. We are to trust in God. All other things can be IDOLS.
david3by9 View Profile	Do you prejudge people online? I do :-( Posted : 14 Dec, 2009 02:51 PM I think we all have a filter that we use when looking at people. Whether this is good or bad, I won't say. I will say that God does give us a sense about some people sometimes, and if indeed it is the Lord, we need to heed those things. That said, we can be wrong. I have had people say things to me that were totally off base, and I knew that it was more of their own thoughts or something that an ex spouse might have done or said and they weren't seeing past their past. We need God to lead and guide our intentions and our heart. For the heart is deceitful and wicked the scriputure says, That is why we need His word to divide between soul and Spirit. And it will, if we allow Him to speak to us through His Holy Spirit. God Bless, David
david3by9 View Profile	Outward looking in Posted : 14 Dec, 2009 02:40 PM I understand what your saying and to a degree I would agree but I would say this: Your making anyone who takes care of how they look inheritantly fleshy and I would totally disagree. We should take care of our bodies, even the scripture says that a husband should love His wife like he takes CARE of his own BODY. That is assuming it is something that is done. My observation has been when women don't take care of themselves, feel unattractive that they feel bad about themselves. To say that men have created this whole problem is nearsighted. Not as a way of blaming no, but by their habit of noticing woman's appearance, is your perspective, but truthfully godly woman would differ from your opinion. Have you had a chance to read the book Captivated? It is an excellent work that addresses this whole subject. I can find no where in scripture that it is wrong to have attractions, in fact Song of Solomon deals very pointedly and poetically with this whole subject. To totally neglect and make the outward of no use is an inbalnace of scripture. Surely external beauty fades, the inward beauty never fades. And no I don't measure from the same standards that I did when I was 18 or 25 or even 35. The beauty of Holiness resting on a woman is much more attractive than the Ho type way of looking that is given in the world. That is an illusion and destructive, but that is not to say that it is evil to like someone who you see as attractive. As you said, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I and you are free in the Lord to pursue what we desire and not have others call that evil, as long as it is not based on worldy lasiviousness and lewd standards. A beautiful woman or a handsome man are to me like a beautiful sunset or sunrise, mountain stream or valley. To say that the city ghetto with it's ugliness is anything like the mountains is to distort God's essense of beauty. We see beauty or else God wouldn't have created us for such ability. By the way your assuming that the woman who was competent didn't get tips because of her looks. Could very well be she was competent but lacked in some other area. Maybe the other gal even though she was pretty, knew how to make people feel at ease, even in her mistakes. People like those who radiate love and kindness, not just abiility. God bless, David
david3by9 View Profile	Outward looking in Posted : 13 Dec, 2009 02:35 PM Tarasye, I do know that many men have the exact problem that you speak of but to blame all of tendencies of woman on men is far from accurate. If we want to look deeper and I hope we do, the scripture says, all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. So if men or woman act indescreetly they cannot stand before God and say, if men or women or my husband or wife would have just not acted differently, I would have been fine. That just doesn't wash. I have often been in the company of woman, and honestly they didn't care how the men viewed them. They were more concerned at how the other woman were viewing them. This has nothing to do with men. As a husband I often complimented my ex wife, encouraged her about how she looked, and accepted and loved her whether she had make up on or not, whether she had gained weight or lost it, when she felt good or felt bad and in every possible way and yet she still felt insecure about how she looked. Wiithin each person we have to know that God sees us and loves us as we are. Too often people are trying to please other so that they feel better about themselves. If a woman or man is not happy about who they are, it is because they have failed to allow God to touch them deeply and resolve the root issue of His love for them. I know of what I speak because at one time another person's rejection caused me to make decisions that weren't me. No longer. I see Jesus Christ as the true source of my joy, peace, and strength. No woman can give that to me. Nor can a man do that for a woman. It only comes from God. Beauty is in knowing who we are in Christ, and the Beauty of Holiness is most awesome. God bless you, David

david3by9 View Profile	Outward looking in Posted : 12 Dec, 2009 09:34 PM That makes sense. We sometime forget to apply what we ourselves believe. Easier to apply it to others than ourselves. Thanks, David
david3by9 View Profile	Outward looking in Posted : 12 Dec, 2009 01:13 PM No doubt people sometimes struggle to be who they should be in Christ, but I would say the struggle is not sin. Disobedience to Christ is the sin. We cannot help that the birds fly over our heads but we don't have to let them nest in our hair. If we never act like a Christian are we? So I agree with you, but there should be growth in people and in our relationships.
david3by9 View Profile	Coming clean. Posted : 11 Dec, 2009 12:10 PM Your desires for a child are God given and from Him. God created woman to want to be mothers. I would encourage you to trust God in this situation. Sometimes His answer to our desire is just around the corner and the enemy satan presents an alternative that seems like it could really be God's will. We are to test the spirit, and take time to see if indeed they are from God. Having a first child is a joy and the greatest joy is to share this with the father of the child. I would hope that you don't miss that joy. I am praying that God send you a husband who will love you and give you the desire of your heart. You are an attractive woman, and I do know that if you trust God, He will give you not only a child but a father that births that child. Trust Him and don't settle for second best. In His love and joy, David
david3by9 View Profile	Outward looking in Posted : 11 Dec, 2009 12:01 PM To follow up what I said, it seems when a woman makes a list of what she is looking for in a man that she is showing her preferences and how she is discerning in what she wants in a man. However if a man has a list a different guideline is presented. Honestly I think as christians although we should have preferences, it is not about what we want, but about who we should be. If we only are about what others should be than we miss the whole point. God's word is to apply to our own hearts first, then we can in gentleness and love help restore others. Not out of anger or because a man or woman wasn't what we wanted or expected. Externals are merely that. We should stop trying to make each other what we want, and let God show us how to love and encourage one another as He WANTS.
david3by9 View Profile	Outward looking in Posted : 10 Dec, 2009 06:25 PM Is there a secret? I thought it was just part of being a woman. I do appreciate your response and I pray God gives you someone that is more than just taking a look at your picture and profile, but honestly cares. God bless, David

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