I know exactly what you mean, Shicona. I, too, sometimes feel depressed about still being unwed at my age. Albeit, I am only twenty-two years old but in my family, that is ancient! I am the eldest woman ever, in the history of my family to get married. I know that they all mean well but must alllll of my relatives constantly remind my of my ticking biological clock? lol.
My great-grandmothers were both fourteen when they were wed. My grandmothers were fifteen. My mother was sixteen. My sister was eighteen and my sister-in-laws were eighteen and twenty. Not to mention aunts, great-aunts and a bazillion cousins; all married under the age of twenty.
I have dreaded family reunions for about seven years now, for whenever my family is together, all of the older couples swarm around me en masse and the onslaught of questions begins, "How many children do you have, now?" I, of course answer, "I don't have any children." And, as one, they look at one another completely aghast and continue the inquisition with, "Well, don't you and your husband want children?" And I inevitably hang my head in shame as I reply with the forbidden words of a twenty-two year old, "I'm not yet married."
Silence. Long, uneasy silence.
And then it all breaks loose.
"Not married?" "Well, what's wrong with you?" "How old are you now? You must be in your twenties, at least?" "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Are you engaged?" "Oh my! We've gotta get you married off, and soon!"
Then, the dreaded moment as someone shouts, "I know a nice young man that might would take you! What, with your age and all it may take a little convincing but it has promise..." At this news, everyone squeezes together to get a look at said person. I look to find a picture of some fifty-year-old man with a scraggly beard and beer gut. "He's a-lookin' for a woman that ain't afraid of hard work and can cook like nobody's business! If you can manage to do that, we'll have you married off before the Spring!" Everyone then turns to me for confirmation as I seal my fate with, "I'm sorry but I can't cook." Gasping ensues. More silence. Then, "You can't cook? What kind of woman are you anyways?" "Well, what can you do?" as if being unwed at my age is something to be utterly ashamed of and pawning me off on an old lonely man is the key to solving everyone's problems. lol.
So, you're not alone, Shicona. I know how you feel and I've got your back, girl!
I completely agree with lpm10 on this one. I usually don't respond to Winks at all because I would rather receive a message. I want to know, 'What was it about my profile that caught your eye?' That's a conversation starter. Something we can build on but I don't really know what caught said Winkers eye because all I got was a Wink.
Though, I do realize that there are a lot of shy people out there who don't want to be the first one to make a move ( I'm one of them.) but we have to think about this... We are on an online dating site. The only form of communication we have here with one another is through what we write. What we say, no? So if the person doesn't think enough of me to at least say, "Hi. I saw your profile and I really like such and such about it..." etc., etc., Then I'm not going to think enough in return to send an message back. I'm just going to assume he only looked at a picture or two and was like, "Okay, she'll do." Without reading one single word about me. Not cool.
It doesn't have to be some elaborate, philosophical message of how you think we'd click together or anything. Just a simple something like, "Hey Wendy, I saw that you like Rod Stewart and Frank Sinatra. I was always a fan of Harry Connick Jr., myself." That gets the ball rolling. It leaves it in their court.
So, to all of you sweet, shy people out there: I know it's hard to start the conversation but you're here to find someone who could potentially become your spouse. You've got to put yourself out there just a little bit. And if they don't respond, that's okay. You did what you could. On to the next! We're never going to know what a golden gem you truly are unless you allow us get to know you! :D
I must say, besides him being a Christian, a sense of humor is one of the very next things on my list that Mr. Amazing must have!
I want to share my life with a man who can laugh with me, at me and vice versa!
Now, Don't get me wrong; there is a time and place for everything. There will be moments when all humor should be set aside and we will both need to be mature and serious. Do I want him to tease me and be silly every moment of the day? No. I'd go insane! Yet, it has it's place. I personally find the playful banter between a couple very attractive and appealing. See, the thing is; Mr. Amazing should feel free to be himself with me. Always. Whatever that self may be. You know, the best of both worlds.
God gave us life to enjoy FULLY! The joys as well as the sorrows. The laughter and the tears. The fun paired with the not-so-fun. All of it! Life is too wonderful not to find the beauty and joy in it.
What's the most romantic thing you've ever done for a gal or guy ...
Posted : 21 Jun, 2011 05:36 PM
It was mine and my former boyfriend's 1 year anniversary and he was going to come visit me after work so we could share the evening and celebrate. I made all of the preparations before he arrived which included cutting out some little paper arrows and made a trail leading from the entrance doorway of my house, to one of the rooms where i had his anniversay present and sweet little homemade card waiting for him. I had spent most of my time making the card, on which I drew a stick person with it's arms stretched out wide and the caption, "I love you thiiiiiis much!" along with a sweet, heartfelt message inside. from there, I, then, had another trail leading into the kitchen where I had prepared a really yummy, candlelit, special china-and-polished-silver kind of diiner waiting for us to linger over with the quiet strains of Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin crooning in the background. Afterwards, we danced in my livingroom to the music, which was quite romantic, which seemed to please him. He said it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for him which made it all very worth it. In return, he gifted me with a card of his own. In this card, he had the numbers listed from 1-to-365. After each number, he had listed something he loved about me. Something to love about me for every day we had dated. I thought that was such an incredibly romantic thing for him to do, also. It was a wonderful night.
Though, essentially, it is up to the couple whether the Mrs. should hold a job or not, I just wanted to throw in a little tidbit for considderation; The woman whom all we ladies are to strive to become like was, indeed herself, a business woman.
Yes, I am refering to the Proverbs 31 Woman of Valor.
In verse 16 (NKJV) it states, "SHE considers a field and buys it; From HER profits she plants a vineyard." and verse 24 tells us, "She makes linen garments and SELLS them, And supplies sashes for the merchants." and in Verse 18, "She perceives that HER merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by night."
The three of these verses elude to the fact that the Proverbs 31 does not leave all of the moneymaking up to Mr. Amazing. This woman makes sound business decisions on her own. It says that she plants a garden with HER profits. Not only that, but in verse 11, it tells us that, "The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain." Her husband trusts in her business decisions. Her judgements. He knows that she will not lead their houshold wrong because he knows her true character. This rare gem of a woman holds a job of her own. She doesn't want to see her husband struggling. Thats where we see that in verse 12 that, " She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." She helps where she can but she is humble about it. Yet, even though she has her on career, she still takes care of her household. Verse 27, "She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness" meaning that she manages her household and her time well.
I actually once dated a man who was blind but he most certainly wasn't helpless. He serenaded me on the guitar as well as the piano. He sang. He owns a recording studio that he runs. He cooks. He texts. He cleans. He works in a convenience store as a cashier. He never let it bother him and I thought that it was wonderful. We just made a few adjustments. Instead of going to the movies, we'd go to a concert. Instead of telling me I looked beautiful, he would say that I have a beautiful soul. Instead of him opening my doors, I opened his. It wasn't bad at all. Different can be good.
In all honesty, I don't see how it would be a bad thing. If I'm having a day that I feel terrible and slob around the house wearing no makeup, in my sweats and tube socks with my hair in a sloppy bun, he won't be able to tell the difference! For all he knows, I could be dressed to go to a ball at the castle!
I'm just saying.
Also, you'll know that he is in love with you for who you are inside because that's all he can see.
Thank you. All of your prayers are very appreciated!
There have been two more murders since the one I have written about and the Police Department think that there is a serial killer so please continue to remember this in your prayers. The bodies fromt he burned car have both been identified. A male and a female and both were friends of mine and their familes are heartbroken. Please remember them in your prayers also. Thank you so very much.
God is faithful and I believe He will take care of things. :)
