I wasn't sure where else to put this. Because I figured everyone would have an opinion and I was curious to see what thoughts were!
I'm not shooting for arguments or anything. I hope this doesn't somehow turn into a fight.
Anyway.
I have a lot of friends on their way to marriage. And my sister and her husband have been married for almost three years. So I've been to my fair share of weddings. Big ones, small ones, and I've been the witness for one couple as they eloped.
I'm curious. What are your thoughts? Or what do you think would be the ideal situation for you?
Something big and grand? A huge celebration for all to end?
Something small and intimate for close friends and family?
Or just an escape with the one you love?
My mama is probably the most influential person in my life. And during the prep for my sisters wedding she turned to me and said, Nicole? When you get hitched, do me a favor...elope. Go to Vegas or the Bahamas or Scotland and just elope. Get yourself an amazing dress, grab Katherine (my best friend), and get your partner to grab their best mate. And just do it. And then send me a postcard. A pretty postcard with a photo from the ceremony on the front.
Lol.
Now. Part of me thinks she was kidding. The other? I'm not so sure. Haha.
I guess when you're little, you have this idea in your head for what a wedding ceremony is supposed to look like. Or a fantasy of it. What are yours? Has it changed over the years? Do you think its become more of a show for the family? And is it totally bride centered? I imagine men have thought about their wedding day!
Again, I don't want to start a heated argument. I just want to get all "girly" and read some thoughts on the subject.
I want to hear from first timers as well as those preparing for another marriage.
Its silly, I know. But I'm a curious person. And recent events have made me wonder...What do others think about this whole wedding business.
I've worked in retail for ages! This is my first real year holiday season not working in a shop. Go me!
I always stick with a polite Happy Holidays! I don't want to presume that anyone and everyone celebrates the same holidays as myself. I offer a bright smile and cheerful tone because I am sincerely "into" this season and time of year.
People will correct you on both fronts. But, again, I just smile. And go on with my life.
I wasn't sure where else to post this and then figured, why not here! Because I am interested in what young adults today are doing to make the world a better place!
Do you volunteer? Are you going green? Are there small things you do to make a difference?
Maybe you are the youth group advisor at your Church! Or you spend your Saturdays at a soup kitchen.
Whatever you do, I want to know about it! I think itll be nice to see the array of volunteering among us.
=]
I volunteer with a grassroots organization known as Stop Modern Slavery. We work to raise awareness and promote aid and solutions for Human Trafficking.
I am also a leaflet distributor for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. I also sell homemade goods and send in funds as a form of monetary contribution.
At home I compost and recycle and work on an organic farm. Our next big step is biodiesel!
I've worked the picket lines for Planned Parenthood. Volunteered and worked for the Human Rights Campaign in order to secure non discrimination in the work field for the LGBTQ community.
I volunteered with visitors services and managed large groups with the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum for 3+ years.
I volunteer with other Friends to promote peace and equality throughout the nation and world. Campaigns, sponsorship, education, raising awareness.
I heart volunteering in a major way. =] Id have to say the volunteering positions I've held are way better/more worthwhile than any paid job I've worked. Lol.
So lets hear it from you! How do you give back? What inspires you to volunteer? Nationally! Internationally!
It comes down to everyone and everything else raising a child. As opposed to parents. Parents being there to answer questions. Help with homework. Share a family meal. And its not just having a woman at home while a man works. Its about both parents sharing the responsibilities of raising the children.
My sister and her husband both work. But they alternate on who drops the girls off in the morning and who picks them up. They both talked with their superiors and made out a schedule. The kids are never left home without a family member. We don't hire babysitters. If for some reason the parents can't be home, grandparents and aunts and uncles and the like are called.
This is the second marriage for my brother and law and first marriage (though she had children before) for my sister. They come from previous relationships. So there is a lot of family to go around.
I don't even think spankings are necessarily the issue. My nieces aren't spanked but they are extremely well behaved. I took care of them over the summer and it was great. There was a discipline chart set up and daily schedules and lessons. And whenever one of them was in trouble, it was a progressive kind of discipline. And it never led to spankings or anything physical.
This is largely due to the fact that one of my nieces was physically abused by her stepmother. And emotionally abused by her father. =[
We have a saying in the house...
HANDS ARE NOT FOR HITTING, WORDS ARE NOT FOR HURTING!
We explain to them each time they are in trouble. Alot of the times, with younger kids, its that they don't understand their feelings. Especially if they are emotional children. So we take them upstairs to their room so they can let it out. They can finish their "freak out" and calm down. After a few minutes, an adult comes upstairs and sits with them and we discuss what upset them, why they are in trouble, and better ways of handling their feelings.
Its hard. But it takes being their for your kids and wanting to raise them and loving them like its no ones business! I love kids. I absolutely adore my nieces.
Its not just about discipline its also about fostering good behavior in our kids. Its about building their self esteem. Its about encouraging them to excel. Telling them things like, "good job!" or "nice try!" or "that is very nice of you!". Teaching them how to cooperate and communicate and build friendships. To know to tell the truth. To know right from wrong. To respect themselves and their peers and adults.
Kids....are amazing! They are a gift! And we as adults and young adults are in good positions to work with them! If it seems like its not happening at home, think of ways you can inspire youth in your neighborhood or church or school. We have a responsibility to them and the future.
I'm a firm believer in teaching begins at home. But it would be insane to think that it always happens. Home lives can be bad or parents absent or its an issue of poor communication.
So do what you can. Volunteer at after school programs. Become a youth group advisor. Donate some time to the boys and girls clubs of america.
Do what you can to make a difference. And then maybe you won't always be asking these kinds of questions. =]
Do you think it's okay to compromise in order to reach the lost?
Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 08:19 PM
I am not even remotely kidding. I find the poor use of language and the lack of caring to be disturbing.
I don't see this as a small issue. If it were, then so many people wouldn't be involved.
I'm so tired of this being something that people just shrug their shoulders at. And I'm not ashamed of calling that person out on it. And I am thankful for those that also stood up to ignorance.
I would just be polite and ask about it. Maybe mention how beautiful it is or unique. You never know, there could be a good story behind that ring.
I wear my mom and dads original wedding bands. When they had a recommitment ceremony ages ago, they purchased new bands. Because the others had gotten too small or tarnished. My parents weren't really able to afford quality rings back then.
My mom had tiny fingers so I wear hers on my pinky. And my dads is on my ring finger. I come from a family of small hands. Lol.
I wear them to remember that love lasts. And its my way of keeping them close to me. Wherever I go.
Do you think it's okay to compromise in order to reach the lost?
Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 02:14 PM
Kat, I am so glad you made this as a discussion! And I'm here to offer my opinion on the matter.
I think it is wrong to compromise morals and values to reach out to others. Because I was in the chat room that night, I know exactly what was said. A member used the word "gay" in reference to something being stupid/silly/lame. Rather than use a different word, this member chose a term that society has corrupted and twisted.
I was offended by the remark. Because I am tired of people, Christians included, using the word "gay" in that manner. Gay is not synonymous with stupid. And its offensive and ignorant to use that word in that way. When someone does something that is less than intelligent, do you feel it appropriate to use the word "retarded"? Yes? Then I am just as ashamed. And disappointed. I would hope a person wouldn't use that word out of context either.
Its because society today feels the need to take these words and distort them. Its disgusting. And ignorant.
His basis for using this word was like you said. To establish street cred with todays youth. That if you don't use this language, you simply cannot reach out and connect with them. I find this to be false. And I find that speaking to them in that way does not help your case but hinders it. Shouldn't we be teaching todays youth how to not just be good Christians but also good citizens? If you believe that todays educational system has lapsed, then isn't it our responsibility to encourage education outside schools?
I think we should be explaining to the youth why using certain words is offensive. That their language carries weight.
To compromise these morals and values is, in my opinion, wrong. And I think it speaks negatively about your role as a Christian.
Did Christ compromise Himself? Did He compromise His values and morals in order to get "street cred"? Did He lower His Christian standard to be well-liked and popular?
As a member of groups such as Gay/Straight Alliance and Quaker/Friend/Christian and as a person on this planet, I find using words like "gay" in that fashion to be disturbing. And its a choice everyone has to make.
Will you compromise for the sake of a failing social structure? Or will you work that much harder to share morals and values and really work to make the world a better place?
I imagine some people do not find this to be that big of a deal. But it is. Words have meaning. Society distorts these words and their meaning. And we continue as if nothing is wrong.
As a Christian, and believe me Quakers are Christians, I am ashamed. I am disappointed that so many ignore this.
But I am thankful for those that stand up. To those that were in the chat that night, you know who you are. Kat. Cat. Brian. And others. Thank you for your efforts and help. Thank you for not compromising yourself as a Christian in order to somehow garnish or maintain "street cred".
Ill throw this one out here and see if it makes sense to anyone else...
Almost Famous.
Its a comedy-drama about a teenage journalist in the early 1970s. And how he is trying to be a music journalist. Rolling Stone ends up reading some of his articles from Cream magazine and they are insanely interested. But they think he is in his 20s. Mind you, the kid is 15 years old. But extremely smart and a talented writer. He ends up touring with the fictional band, Stillwater.
He ends up meeting Penny Lane. A legendary "band aid". But she is with one of the band members.
His relationship with her changes toward the end of the film. And while it may not end the people think, its a love story.
His love for her. Her love for the guitarist of Stillwater. And the ultimate love of music. And what the love does to people.
I am...a huge fan of Almost Famous. It is definitely one of my all time favorite flicks. And it doesn't get classified as a love story or romance movie. But I think you can toss it in that category.
If you love classic rock. If you have ever loved a silly piece of music so much it hurts. And if you have ever loved someone you couldn't have or thought you could have. ...Then you need to see Almost Famous.
Music and Lyrics is pretty great. My ex and I loved it! Lol. Funny but cute.
Hitch. I don't think you can go wrong with any Will Smith movie, though. And this one is really great.
Date Night. I think this is great for married couples. Lol. My sister and her husband can relate to it. Except for the whole...being chased by dirty cops and being part of mistaken identity. Ha. Tina Fey and Steve Carrel do an awesome job.
Office Space. Because its hysterical. And office work is killer, man! Lol.
I don't really watch a lot of "chick flicks". And I definitely don't want them while on a date. I watch them when I am alone and PMSing and need a good cry.
