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Newlife2011 View Profile	HI Posted : 11 Nov, 2010 04:58 AM I was born in PR; but I came to the states when I was 4 months old and I grew up in the Bronx; They call us Neuyouricans..LOL I have 3 adult children and a 13 year old daugther (she lives with me). I married the man of my life who I thought would never hurt or abandon me for other pleasures in life. My dreams of growing old with him in a little cabin house by the lake is gone. Everyone tells me how strong I am that I haven't fallen apart, though I have cried many tears in my 31 years married to him. I do not remember a arm around my shoulder's when I cried or him bringing me to his chest and let me pour my heart out. I don't remember words, soft words of encouragement or "I understand how you feel"- I remember silence and a bothered disinterested look each time. Yet I saw the same man lovingly listen to the women in church as they cried with their sorrows. I remember "I am sorry's" only because he got caught - only to do it again - each time I took him back (for 31 years I did this). I have been strong but often I think what happened? I know that it takes two for everything in agreement. I was the only one in agreement and I think I held on for so long because I didn't want to be a breaker of a covenant I had made. It has taken an "after divorce care" class to teach me that I put up with more than I had to. Biblically, when my exhusband committed his first act of adultery I was a free woman - didn't know this. Also, learned that forgiveness means to let go...but it doesn't mean I should live with this for the rest of my life. That respect is something I should have never had to ask or beg for; it should be given from the heart freely if you truly love someone.
Newlife2011 View Profile	Just wondering if I am too old fashioned.. Posted : 11 Nov, 2010 04:48 AM When I was married my exhusband would watch shows like "Everybody loves Ramon and the Office" - though funny at times I had a difficult time watching my husband laugh at the part where Ramon's father would belittle and degrade his wife constantly; showed no appreciation though indirectly he loved her, he was too proud to express it in front of anyone. In the Office, the boss would degrade, belittle, humiliate and just treat the ladies in the office as if they were something to step on. I noticed after awhile that my husband would begin to treat me this way in front of my children. When I expressed my hurt he would laugh; when he saw me choked up with sentiment he would grin. Am I they only one out there that feels that what we sit and watch feeds our lives positively or negatively and that we have come a long way from disliking what the Lord would dislike? And we don't even realize he is right there by our side as we watch and listen and laugh at these things?

Newlife2011 View Profile	Body piercings and Tattoos Posted : 11 Nov, 2010 04:41 AM Not too long ago, I heard that in church. He was pierced for our transgression; when he was pierced his hand and feet bore the mark of that piercing. Though it was not that he went out there and say, "Hey, pierce my hands and feet" - it is called a "piercing" in the bible. Now, I have a son who in his adult age once he left my home has done tatoos on his arms. I have no control over that though I taught him for many reasons it was not a good idea. But if someone comes to church with tatoos, I have no problem with it. It is part of their body and just like we ladies put on mascara and eyeliner and no one has an issue with that - then who are we to judge that person. I would trust a person with a tatoo who sincerely loves God before I trust one with long sleeves, long skirts, long hair and a long tongue.
Newlife2011 View Profile	Am I a Minority??? Posted : 11 Nov, 2010 04:13 AM I grew up a "paddle board" christian. Meaning, a church that "everything" was a sin; to include playing basketball with unbelievers. We didn't cut our hair, shave our legs, wear makeup, wear pants, nor bathing suits, wear earings, bracletes; our skirts were below our knees and measure at the entrance of the church by a female usher. When I married a young minister he wanted me to wear pants, and make up. It was with him that I learned to wear a bathing suit and jewelry and cut and style my hair. I thought all my life that was a good change for me because I kept modest.When I reached my 50's he wanted me to wear low cut blouses when we went out and short shorts and more makeup like eyeshadow (I only where eyeliner, light mascara, foundation, blush and lipstick). I kept telling him that I felt uncomfortable dressed like that because I felt it was an insult to him that I provoke other men to stare and possibly lust after me (I didn't want to stand before God and be guilt of that). He said to me one day that he liked the thought that I turned men on?? I was shocked at this statement. I responded: So is this how you react when you constantly stare at other women? He said, No. From that time on it was obvious to me that my husband could not find delight in his wife unless he was turned on by another woman. Did this hurt? Very much so. Because my eyes and heart and desire were only for him. Am I an alien for feeling this way?