Since this thread is kind of old, I wanted to bookend it. In case you read this whole thread, please know that the gentleman who posted the attacking message herein repented and apologized to me. And of course, I forgave him, because I have first been forgiven.
And as I reflect on this, I am reminded that Jesus and John the Baptist had very different approaches. John's understanding of the Kingdom was different from Jesus'. John mostly preached repentance and Jesus mostly preached grace. These can be perceived very differently. Even so, Jesus commended John for being greatest among those born of women (Matt 11:11). I would conclude that we are wise to remember that there is a place for both Jesus-types and John-types in the Kingdom of God.
No problem. I forgive you. I have to admit that I was shocked to read a post full of arrogance, name calling, accusations and ignorance from a complete stranger, and on a Christian site, nonetheless.
Even so, I appreciate your repentance, and I forgive you for all of it. The good part for me is that I am blessed in the midst of it per Matt. 5:11-12.
I just today read through his again, hence the delay. To the gentleman above, I think JoJo, or something, I want to let you know that I forgive you for your arrogance, name calling, accusations and ignorance. While I am shocked at the behavior from a complete stranger, I appreciate your repentance.
Therefore, as a sign of your peace and goodwill, would you mind doing me a favor and not posting on my articles any longer? (including this posting, please) I sure would appreciate it, and I am sure it will prevent future misunderstanding. Thanks.
To everyone else: Jesus and John the Baptist had very different approaches. John�s understanding of the Kingdom was different from Jesus�. John mostly preached repentance and Jesus mostly preached grace. These can be perceived very differently. Even so, Jesus commended John for being greatest among those born of women. (Matt 11:11)
We are wise to remember that there are both types in the Kingdom of God.
I just today read through his again, hence the delay. To the gentleman above, I think JoJo or something, I want to let you know that I forgive you for your arrogance, name calling, accusations and ignorance. While I am shocked at the behavior from a complete stranger, I appreciate your repentance.
Therefore, as a sign of your peace and goodwill, would you mind doing me a favor and not posting on my articles any longer? (including this posting, please) I sure would appreciate it, and I am sure it will prevent future misunderstanding. Thanks.
To everyone else: Jesus and John the Baptist had very different approaches. John�s understanding of the Kingdom was different from Jesus�. John mostly preached repentance and Jesus mostly preached grace. These can be perceived very differently. Even so, Jesus commended John for being greatest among those born of women. (Matt 11:11)
We are wise to remember that there are both types in the Kingdom of God.
"Opposite Attracts".....wait how true could this be?
Posted : 22 Nov, 2015 05:00 AM
Great post and thanks. You know, I once heard a wise person say that in the areas where we feel deficient, we sometimes seek out others to fill that void. Like if a man does not like to talk, he might be attracted to a talkative woman, who can "make up" for his perceived weakness. Or a woman who thinks of herself as being bad with money, might want a man who is good balancing the checkbook. Sometimes this dynamic can be complimentary, where both parties benefit. But sometimes, this can also be disastrous.
To prevent calamity, I think it is wise to really determine where there are differences and where there are similarities. For example, the man who does not talk marries an extroverted woman. Well, that might help him at family gatherings where he just let's his wife do all the talking. But then, when they sit at home, alone, she might be lonely, with no one to talk to.
Or for the gal with money "problems", she really might just have a preference for spending instead of saving. But if she marries a CPA in order to make up for her "lack", that could lead to problems. Meaning, if he is a saver, and she a spender, well, then someone has got to bend.
I am a big fan of mutually beneficial relationships. However, I also lean toward finding something with more in common, than not. If I had to put a percentage on it, I would say:
75-90% similarities and 10-25% differences.
Otherwise, I fear that too many differences leads to disrespect and that can lean to contempt, which of course is one of of Gottman's four horses of relationship apocalypse. For more details, watch his short video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o30Ps-_8is
Long-distance story/advice needed (could go in broken hearts)
Posted : 22 Nov, 2015 04:26 AM
Thanks for sharing your story, my friend.
You know, one of my co-workers is based in another city and I rarely see her. When we finally had a company party, she was able to come to town and we had a chance to catch up. I of course inquired about her husband, a man I had met in the past, and had really liked. She let me know that she was now divorced and I was shocked!
Anyway, she told me the whole story and the part I want to mention is this: She said that it was not until she met another guy, who emotionally helped her separate from her husband and who encouraged her to leave him and who was there to be her man, as soon as she turned away from her hubby. She said, without him, she never would have had the ability to seek a divorce.
So, I have started thinking that there could be a lot of unhappily married women out there who just need another man before they will consider leaving their current husband.
In fact, not long after that, I switched jobs where I met a very friendly gal. Although she was married, she openly told me that she was going to get a divorce, as soon as she met a new guy. WOW! I was surprised that she was that open, but that confirms my thinking. I am sure this is not true of all situations, but it could be common.
So, maybe your friend was hoping you could help her to leave her husband...not just by your encouraging words, but maybe by offering her a ring. That's a bit commitment, however. And even so, I know that I could not get involved with a new woman who is depending on me to help her leave an unhealthy situation. Sticky.
Men are courageous by nature. Women are loving by nature. It is hard to undo these dynamics because it is as if they are stamped on our souls. Anyway, using that as a starting point, I wanted to give some of my female friends a bit of friendly advice.
It is not particularly helpful to accuse men of being afraid. I mean, maybe little girls learn they can get a rise out of little boys by applying that label, but for mature women, they know that it makes little sense.
See, the other day, a female friend said something like this to me, �Why are you afraid to commit?� Hmm... I don�t think she is getting through. I mean, why would she assume I am �afraid�? Maybe I am not interested in committing, in general? Maybe this is not the right timing? Maybe my intuition is warning me and it has nothing to do with fear. And maybe it�s because of HER, that I am not interested. Even so, I find many women assume men are afraid when it comes to relationships. And maybe some of them are. But the use of the word �fear� might short circuit what woman really want to know.
Let me give an example to help this. What if I said to my same female friend, �Why are you so unloving, that you drive men away?� Hmm... In the same way, I am not sure I would get my point across to her, because: 1. Why do I assume that men are are not interested in her, BECAUSE she is unloving? and 2. Why would I think she IS UNLOVING? See, if I recall what I wrote are the start, I know that women are, by nature, loving. So, to accuse a woman of being unloving is somewhat nonsensical. It is like saying, �Why don�t you have skin?� See how it would be strange to say that? I should not label a woman as unloving since it is her nature to love. She might in fact be driving men away, but it is very unlikely that it has anything to do with being unloving. Similarly, a man might not want to commit, but it is very unlikely that it has anything to do with fear. And we should not label a man as fearful, because men are, by nature, courageous.
(Of course, some will object at this point and call to mind those oddball few women out there who are just mean. And there are also those few men in the world who are fearful. But in both cases, they are very much in the minority and they are the exception, not the rule.)
So, for ladies who want to be respectful when talking with men, I suggest recognizing they are courageous by nature, and supporting that. Similarly, wise men will do well to recognize a woman�s loving nature, and to support that.
Finally, in relationships, it take two to tango. So, if a guy is not interested, there is a good chance it has something to do with the gal. Not always, but let�s say at least 50% of the time. So instead of saying, �Why are you afraid to commit?�, a humble woman might try something like, �Is there anything I could do to make myself more appealing?� It takes real humility to go that route and many would prefer instead to accuse and name call. Even so, I think it�s a more effective approach to getting the answer most women are seeking, which of course is: DOES HE LIKE ME? and DOES HE WANT TO MOVE OUR RELATIONSHIP FORWARD?
While I am shocked at the behavior from a complete stranger, I appreciate your repentance.