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cowgirl1984 View Profile	Curious Posted : 19 Nov, 2011 12:45 PM No matter how devoted you are to the Lord, I strongly believe you cannot have a happy marriage if you do not have other things in common. Regardless of whether it fails, it would not be happy. For example, if you are outdoorsy and want to live in the country but your spouse hates the outdoors and wants to live in the city, one of you has to sacrifice what you want. And while that might seem noble, it is impractical. If you don't want the same things in life, one or both will be miserable. Most likely both, because if your spouse is miserable, generally you will be also even if they don't mean to make you miserable over it. If you have no interests or activities in common, then you will either never spend any time together, which is bad, or one of you will be bored while participating in the other person's activity or at the very least hold them back, which is not fun for either of you, which leads to frustration and a lack of enjoying the activity, and that also is bad. I think you should have things that each of you enjoys and does separately, but you also need things you both enjoy doing or talking about in order to be able to spend enjoyable, quality time together. A relationship cannot grow otherwise. And if it's not growing, it's either wilting or stale, and no one wants that. Another point is that the healthiest marriages are where the spouses become each others best friends. You can't be best friends if you don't love spending time with each other. And to love spending time together, it's important that it's something you both enjoy. That way when the spark dies, and it ALWAYS does, though it can also always come back, you have your friendship to fall back on.
cowgirl1984 View Profile	Time clock Posted : 16 Nov, 2011 03:51 PM *But just LIKE IHeartDogs, not just IHeartDogs
cowgirl1984 View Profile	Time clock Posted : 16 Nov, 2011 03:50 PM 1) No. I will never settle. Too many bad dating/relationship experiences to even consider settling now. 2) Yes, but not out of desperation to have children. It has been on my heart and mind to adopt since I was only a child myself. I think one parent is better than no parent, so if I were in a place (solid income, stable home, etc) where I could reasonably support a child, I would adopt regardless of my marital status. But just IHeartDogs, not in the diaper stage! :laugh: Partly because I'm not a "baby" person (other than my nieces and nephew of course!) and partly because the older ones are the ones who need homes the most because they are least likely to find one. 3) I don't have any "time clock" nerves because I do not wish to have children via the natural method. I want to adopt. And since I am fine doing that alone, I'm in no rush to get married just to have kids.
cowgirl1984 View Profile	Oh my gosh! Posted : 24 Oct, 2011 10:08 PM ENF, that is so cool that you had a breakthrough/revelation in how you see Godly relationships :applause: God's punishment after the fall from grace of Adam and Eve Genisis 3:16 (NASB) "To the woman He said, 'I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you.� When it says, "Yet your desire will be for your husband," it is talking about wives not wanting to submit to their husbands, which is what brings about the, "And he will rule over you," part. You are definitely not alone as someone who struggled with the idea of a woman submitting to her husband. Nearly all women struggle with it. That is part of what happened when Adam and Eve sinned. I think it is awesome that you have been able to finally see past it because that is a huge step toward having a successful Godly relationship!
cowgirl1984 View Profile	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 24 Oct, 2011 09:37 PM Always go with your gut when it's telling you there's something off, because there probably is. I think you handled it fine. It's kind of interesting actually to see the shoe on the other foot. I didn't know this happened to men also. I always thought this only happened to women.

cowgirl1984 View Profile	Profile review Posted : 24 Oct, 2011 09:22 PM I agree with the previous posters. There is nothing wrong with your profile. And it looks like you have several pictures on there that show you very well, which is great. I'm not sure why you aren't getting a response. Maybe it is the message and not the profile? Certain types of messages get better responses than others certainly. What's an example message you send?
cowgirl1984 View Profile	3 types of Relationships Posted : 24 Oct, 2011 09:18 PM I'm not sure I 100% agree with what was said on the radio station. I mean, at least they allow for friendships as some of the really brutally strict Christian "experts" do not, haha. I think somewhere between friends and betrothal, there has to be something. I don't want to use the word "antiquated" for courting, because I don't think there's anything wrong with it, and "antiquated" does not always mean "not applicable" or "bad" or anything like that, and "modern" is not always better, but in many ways it is an antiquated concept and dating is not necessarily bad. I think Christian dating should be halfway between. As Christians, when we date, we should of course keep our hearts, minds, and bodies guarded. But at the same time, the population today is much MUCH higher than it used to be, so options aren't quite as limited as they were when people were actually still doing the courting thing. When options are limited, courting makes more sense. However, with such a high population, busy lifestyles, and most women working, it takes more time to get to know someone than it used to, and the first person you get to know might not be the right one. As far as I'm concerned, I need to know I like him BEFORE he starts coming around my family and my home!
cowgirl1984 View Profile	Does this bother anyone else as much as it does me? Posted : 10 Oct, 2011 08:59 PM I disabled the chat feature because it was bothersome to me as well.
cowgirl1984 View Profile	What do you say??? Posted : 2 Oct, 2011 09:39 PM Thanks for the advice everyone! It doesn't happen to me very often either, but when it does, it makes me uncomfortable when it's right there like that. I think part of my discomfort stems from some of the inappropriate comments that have been made to me about my body. Part of it too is it makes me wonder if they're talking to me because they're interested in what I have to say or if they skipped my profile and only cared about the pictures.
cowgirl1984 View Profile	Going nearly insane here... Posted : 2 Oct, 2011 12:54 AM A few things: 1) Lilo put it perfectly. 2) You are only 22. The fact that you haven't found a wife yet doesn't mean God won't bring you one. Read the story of Abraham and Sarah and their desire to have a son, God's promise that they would, and their mistake in trying to do it their way instead of God's way. Seriously, read it. It is so applicable to where you are right now in your life. They put their desire for a son (like your desire for a wife) before God. They rushed things, and instead of waiting for God's timing, they were afraid because of their age and thought they were running out of time. They didn't have faith that God could and would overcome their age to fulfill His PROMISE to them. So what did they do? Abraham had sex with Sarah's maidservant Hagar, who then begot Ishmael, the father of the Muslims. Isaac is the father of the Jews. And now the Muslims and Jews have been warring ever since. This entire disaster in the Middle East all goes back to Abraham and him not waiting for God to fulfill His promise and instead taking it into his own hands. So the point is, God's timing is almost never our timing, and if you try to take it into your own hands, only bad will come of it. Wait on God, and in HIS timing, He will bring you the joy that you seek. 3) You live in a bad area to try to find someone who is sold-out for Christ. I'm NOT saying you should move, because that may not be God's plan. But I do HIGHLY recommend praying and asking God if He wants you to move. Consider doing a missions school somewhere. IOnlyDateCheerleader's suggestion of staying active is a good one, and what better way to stay active than go into missions and spread the Word of God to those who are lost? 4) Self-diagnosis is a VERY dangerous thing. To do your own research and decide you have something like social anxiety disorder can cause serious issues as you may not be right. If you believe that there is something wrong, then seek professional help from a Christian psychiatrist or psychologist. They do exist, I promise :glow: But again, self-diagnosis can be a very very dangerous thing. For one thing, you may not have any disorder at all. It could be some feeling within you caused by external influences that the enemy is using against you. Or it could be a disorder, but a completely different one. It could be nothing, or it could be a serious problem. But if you believe you have something, then definitely go to a professional and hear what they have to say.

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