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audreymaye

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Knowing deep in your "knower"
Posted : 13 Jan, 2013 01:59 PM

I also wrestle with these questions. It's easy to get paralyzed with fear when I analyze it to death. The thing about marriage is that it's between two broken people...and it's one of the few situations in life where a decision is permanent and also has the potential to cause so much pain and heartache. So...here's what I've figured out so far.



1) Every partner will have their flaws. Choosing one means we have to know ourselves well enough to know what problems are deal breakers for us and which aren't.



2) Trusting another flawed human requires us to trust ourselves enough to know that we can handle whatever challenges arise.



3) The single most valuable trait I can find in a potential mate is the ability to recognize when they are acting in a hurtful way and the willingness to change.



4) If I communicate to the person I 'm dating what behavior I find offensive or hurtful and that person consistently empathizes with the pain they cause and makes adjustments to avoid repeating hurtful behavior, I know they are a safe person that can be trusted.



5) Staying out of bed is CRITICAL!!!! It helps us to continue to think straight and evaaluate our dates correctly instead of only seeing what we want to see (through the haze of hormones). It also shows us if that other person has the maturity that we need them to have. Can they delay gratification...do they do what's best for the relationship even when it's hard...are they capable of self-control...do they respect and honor us or do they use us for pleasure without counting the cost?



6) Love is always a risk. If we do it right, it will always make a fool out of us. But we have to follow Solomon's advice and not "stir up love before it pleases." If we want the best, we have to use wisdom and be patient
audreymaye

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Modesty is Part of a Woman�s Call
Posted : 13 Jan, 2013 08:59 AM

I would go a step further and say that modesty is part of a woman's God-given nature. I think a woman, living from her regenerated heart, is (in essense) an invitation....vulnerable, radiant, beautiful. She invites exploration of her mind and her spirit and asks for her body to be honored and protected by the type of man who knows and appreciates the value of her sexuality. He understands that she is not his....and that her body belongs not to him, but to the Lord, and to whom she chooses to marry. He will not exploit her body nor use it for his own pleasure because he stands accountable before God for how he treats her. This type of woman appreciates and respects him for seeing her this way, and desires him to treat her honorably. She keeps her body covered because she wants to attract a man who desires to see her for who she really is. She has no interest in being seduced because she understands that it is empty and painful to be used. She desires to be a man's delight.