I heard a most wonderful quote the other day, which has caused me to dive into it.
The purpose of a test is to gauge exactly where the student/taker is at, in terms of level of knowledge. Whether the person knows how to apply the knowledge gained, or whether the person just has a basic level, and barely recognizes the 'correct' answer. This information is applicable to the taker and the administrator.
But, what if the administrator already knows this? What if they already know the EXACT depth of your understanding? Then, it's all about me. It�s all about giving me feedback. What questions I have trouble with. What lengths I am able to answer the question. How far I�m able to apply the concepts. And flat out the things that I just don't know.
When I see a question on a test I think one of a few different things:
1. I know what this question is asking. I recognize it, know the appropriate equations, texts, definitions, etc. what leads to the answer, and can quickly give the answer without looking at the choices. The answer is: now, let's look at the choices to decide which it is.
-this is the ideal case. It suggests that I fully understand, and can apply the concept without pause. Without trouble. Instinct.
2. hm... I know the basics, and can come up with the solution, given time. so, let's work through it. ok, let's look at the answers to see which one matches. then, compare them. if one is off, then why.
-this is next to ideal. the only thing lacking is practice.
3. umm... I barely recognize this... so; let's look at the answers to see which seems closest to what I�m comfortable with.
-this is obviously less than ideal. even if I get it right, it shows a complete lack in knowledge. it tells me that I�m lacking most essential elements in this area, and need to look it up. then, once I have the basics down, need to practice.
4. holy lettuce leaves. I do believe there are too many ants in this pile.... umm... c? no, the last was c... I�ll choose the least absurd looking letter... or the choice that has the most words in it.
-wow... yeah I need to write this down. go back, ask teacher, look up definition and equations (etc.), and get cozy with this. I am so far from this I just need to go to battle to get it down. then, request myself on this later.
5. I�ve lost all confidence with my confidence in these questions, and am now resorting to just picking letters to get it all over with.
- absolutely the worst place to be in. it's time to devote myself to actually studying. need to change things up quite a bit.
now... why go through all of this? why list my reactions? because this is a lot like life. the quote I heard the other day was:
"The teacher is always quiet during the test."
if the teacher knows exactly where I am, how much I know, and how capable I am of applying this to different problems... then, this is for me. I can use this to be confident. I can use this to practice what I�ve learned, in order to make a part of myself. I can see how lacking my knowledge is, and where the gaps are. I can choose to feel overwhelmed, and start blindly choosing answers, with no real effort in solving any part of it.
then, after the test is turned in.... I can choose to take it in stride. go home and pick up the books, ask the teacher, or ask friends for help. or, I can choose to remain overwhelmed. stay in denial, and forget that I need any knowledge about it.
and here's the maturity with god part.
when god gives us tests... it's not for him to see how he can use us. he already knows. it's not for him to gauge how much he can trust us. he already knows. it's not for him at all, in fact, except that your choice can lead to glorifying him.
...
it's for us. it comes down to our choosing. for us to engage ourselves into it. to find out exactly how we are lacking to overcome the problem. then, to turn in the test, go home, and master what we were falling short in.
sure, we may find ourselves slow... we may find ourselves heavily lacking in some areas. we may just have no idea where to start. but, that's why god is there. ask the source of all things. [Matthew 7:7=ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it shall be opened to you]. that's why others are there for us. ask others for support. [there are so many for this... but, I like these best: romans 12:5=we are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. & Galatians 6:2=obey the law of Christ by sharing in others troubles and problems.]
to prepare ourselves for the next test. that is our responsibility. not to hide from the knowledge (or lack thereof) [Hebrew 10:24=encourage fellowship, don't hide from it]. god is not testing us to destroy us. he's testing us to show us what we are lacking. and the more he tests us, the more he wants us to pass the course. the more he wishes for us to be happy, and to get 100%. for, it is then that we glorify him the most.
...
so, during the test, the teacher is always quiet. not for punishment. not for abandonment. but, for our learning purposes. for, how are we to know where we are lacking if he just spouts the information at our every beckon? how are we to gauge what our level of knowledge is, if we just regurgitate at the time we are told it? how are we to grow, if we truly do not grasp the basics? in other words...
don't take him testing us as a sign of pain and suffering. he would not give the test if it weren't meant for our own benefit. for, that is the difference between god and Satan. Satan�s way benefits Satan, while blinding us from the consequences to come. and god's way... god's way is to teach us. so that ALL benefit. we are happy/healthy/successful. and, that makes god look good. we become lights unto the world so that god can spread that happiness to all.
...
Thank you, oh my precious father. Holy and majestic are you. Take care of my daily needs, so that I may be enabled to serve you. Your will be done, in all, through all. Forgive me for my wrongs, and help me to see how others are the same as me. This flesh lacking.... To show me you are my source for all. That without you I am nothing. Thank you oh lord for this lesson. Thank you for teaching me. In your silence, I am still being taught. deliver me from all evils. Remain as you are oh lord. Your promise kept for always, that there is a way out of all temptations. All these things in your name. In your kingdom. For your purpose. For your glory. For ever and ever.
no. having been in the military i know how it is out there. military life i mean. and, there are way too many women out there just for the money, and non for god. i mean, it's one thing to say she repented. but, you can only speak in retrospect, it was not a great decision to marry someone without the respect for the covenant of marriage. but, isn't that what mistakes are for? learning from them! move on bro... explore the pain, connect with healthy walkers in christ, embrace the mistake to spread the wealth of wisdom gained by it.
dk is right on the money. but i'd add the following (of course building on what dk said)
having eyes only for you is absolutely critical. but, at the same time it's important to know where they are coming from. being intimate with someone is massively important. but, not in the sexual way. that is for marriage. but, to get to know eachother in pretty much every way is what most look for in a deep relationship.
it's impossible to say one way or the other what his intentions are by the decision to remain friends for now. but, i say it boils down to his slight immaturity (and we all have our moments.. even myself in some regards) to define what it means to be in a committed relationship with a potential wife, as opposed to being in a friendship. but, at the same time, it seems quite clear that he has some good foundations, since he knows it isn't just about sex and romance... but also about building a bond.
you should be asking the guys that have told you this. typically, whether the reason is given by men or women, it's a sign of them lusting after the person they're saying it to. doesn't mean this is always the case. but, i say if you're denied because of your ability to wait... then who you are denied by doesn't need to be your concern. there is someone much better made for you than them. i mean denied because of purity... silly.
Graveled ground leads up to a browned barn. Hay raked to the inside corner of its walls. Stables to each side, horses filling a few, others left empty.
The Quilted Bed:
Cozy white light is filtered through the window curtains. Lighting even the furthest corners of the fluffy carpet. Rows are showin in the carpet, showing it's been recently vacuumed. The quilt is folded at the foot of the bed, and drapes over the edge with the comforter. Bed posts and frame made of solid wood, darkened with both wood staining and age. Yet, the age only slightly shows in the quilt threads, the room as a whole looks fairly ageless.
And I ask of you ... which do you sleep in? Which do you work in? I bet the answer is work belongs in the stable, and sleep belongs on the bed.
Same is true with spouses. You can work with the animals, the dirt, and the open barn doors. But, sleep where it is safest, and cleanest.
I use sleep as a metaphor. Sleep is the time when we are at our most vulnerable. When our guard is down the most. Whereas, work is when we are at our strongest. Guard at full alert.
So, why is it important to have a Christian spouse? Because our spouse is there through it all... Sure, there when we are at our strongest... But, also there when our guard is put away for the night. Fellow brothers and sisters are already sinners. We are all made as such, to truly understand why we need God. But, we also have the foundation of faith. That through our obedience we don't have to be perfect.
But, when we are without guard, we are more open to the elements of the other side of things. It may not be direct... It may not be the barn, but it may be the cold... or any other element we're open to out in the barn. These elements are more pronounced in the unbelievers' lives. And what is their response should you say "but... The Bible says..."? "The cold can not harm you..."... "The wolves don't come this close to the barn..." etc.
In other words, it isn't that they directly mean harm. They could... but, most times it's just a matter of them putting us in harms way, where God says not to sleep.
We are to confess ourselves to one another. A nonbeliever will question some of those morals, and may not get your confession. To say nothing of their less likely attitude towards reciprocating their confessions.
There are many, many other examples where the Bible gives us advice about things that are less likely to be upheld by those without the Spirit dwelling in them. Which just boils down to opening us up for indirect (at best) lashing from elements we were advised to avoid.
i personally view leaders as people that practice it on a daily basis. you don't have to be in a romantic relationship with someone to lead them. but, i'd also like to note that the good book also says we must submit to each other. then again, jesus was an excellent leader and servant of people. to lead and to follow... the wisdom is in knowing which to use at what time.
didn't mean to go off on the tangent there. but, the simple answer is the second sentence. find what your gifts are, come up with a vision, and do your best in your walk with christ.
i have a slight issue with the whole guys have to make all the first moves. if we make all the first moves, it makes it a player type atmosphere... i absolutely hate that way of thinking about it. if we were in person, or going to the same church, then ok. but, online? certainly a difference all together. there are far too many people. look at it this way: how does god get us to open our eyes if he does not say something (in some manner)? how then do you expect the guys on here to see you if you don't make yourself known? in going to the same church there's the added benefit that we see you walking around, and maybe go to the same services, etc... but, with online interactions? this isn't the case.
then there's the whole feminism of it all. how can women get more power, and not be expected to use it? the expectation is that i should message 50 people, if i'd like a response. sorry... if i'm interested in someone, they'll be the only one i focus on. i don't lust, i aim to connect with someone.. not every one.
there is a distinct difference between rebelling and standing up for yourself. i agree that things should be equal opportunity. but, there are those in the 'feminist' movement that demand overboard, and thereby rebel. it's all about avoiding double standards. everything should be filtered by the spirit. if you see or hear something that the spirit screams is wrong, then avoid it. but, if the spirit says that it's wrong to do nothing, then do something. and of course... it's always best to surround yourself with highly spiritual individuals, while pushing a cause. otherwise, you'll be advocating for ungodly causes. but, that's the same with every cause... so, nothing different there.
Thought the ex was the one...still trying to cope with being single.
Posted : 19 Jan, 2013 07:12 PM
i too have experienced great heartbreak. the key though is to bring it all to god. sounds like the typical answer and all. but, it's the way to go. every time you feel that pain or lacking... think of it like pouring from a cup, to let god take it. every time, just let god absorb that pain. eventually, you'll find that place more filled by awesome peace, rather than deep drowning. :)
