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luvinpray View Profile	Talking to multiple women?? Posted : 18 Oct, 2014 05:59 AM Sorry I didn't respond back to this post. I have been quite busy with work and school. Update on him. He actually apologized to me, and told me that he was not over her yet. He has cut it off completely with her now, because he realized how his relationship with her was effecting getting to know any other women. She didn't want to commit, and just wanted to string him a long. Long story short, we are now good friends. We don't hang out one on one anymore, but we talk at church, and in group settings.
luvinpray View Profile	Talking to multiple women?? Posted : 8 Aug, 2014 06:29 PM I have to agree with Hidden. Because while we were at dinner, she was texting, and he was and showing me what she wrote. So I think part of it is he does want her, but she doesn't want him. so this is partly a last ditch effort to get her jealous, but he is also curious and wanting to meet new girls. But also he told me a few days later that after I left from the restaurant he went home and she showed up at his house. That was after 9:30pm Idk He is also on dating sites that are not christian ones. Regardless I think I did the right thing by not hanging out with him anymore on a one on one basis. That being said, I was married very young and divorced, so I do tend to lack social skills especially around men in church groups. I tend to be a tad awkward. This has showed me that I should get to know people more especially at the social outings. (I don't like small talk at all). lol. But small talk at first is really the only way to get to know someone. I did take the step and ask one of my guy friends at church to get coffee with me. He said yes, so that should be interesting. Also there is a singles meetup group that I signed up for, they get together for social outings, so I might try that. Who knows maybe God will heal my social awkwardness and I will become a social butterfly? lol. Thanks for the advice.
luvinpray View Profile	Talking to multiple women?? Posted : 7 Aug, 2014 03:47 PM Guys, I know this is online dating, so many of you might be talking to multiple women. But here is my situation. Sunday I met a guy at a singles church group. I had seen him before, but never talked to him until then. We chatted and I ended up having a bible study tuesday and he showed up. Well after the bible study he asked me if I wanted to get dinner with him. We went to a restaruant and ate, and he payed. He opened doors, and was very gentlemen like. Well Last night we went to dinner for a second time. I enjoyed the time mostly, I think he is a nice guy, but his perspective on dating is not like mine. He told me that what we were doing wasn't a date. We were just friends and getting to know each other. He also told me that he has two other lady friends he is getting to know. One he ended up meeting up with after me. (That's a whole other story..because he wants more with her but she won't commit). So I told him I'm not interested in this game he is playing. So my question is, Guys is it normal to date like this? He is not kissing girls, or hooking up with him. But he is talking to 3 different girls. Sometimes texting them at the same time, etc. IDK just seems to me like he doesn't know what he wants, and he is just enjoying the attention? He told me that I should "talk" to multiple men, just be friends and get to know them before being serious. I don't think I have it in me to do that. On the one hand I believe God will bring me my mate at the right time. (This man doesn't believe that). On the other hand I do agree you need to be more sociable and build friendships. I guess I still have a lot to learn about men. lol.
luvinpray View Profile	Interracial Relationships Posted : 26 Jul, 2014 05:41 PM I come from a family that part of my dads side is racist and ignorant. As a child, teen, I was not allowed to be attracted to black guys. Or date them as a teen. For some reason though I attract black men more then white men, though I am attracted to the person no matter their color. Long story short, I have decided to not play into the ignorant racism that family has, I am going to wait for whoever God has for me, Black or white. My parents have now come around to the fact that I do date interracial. And they are ok with it now. The people that aren't oh well. I've also found that it is better if you are going to date outside your race, to go to a church that has many interracial couples. My church has all kinds of races dating. So no one feels weird or stands out. You do need to be a strong person though, because you will get looks, sometimes insults etc. But if this person is the love of your life, and your relationship is solid in God, then nothing will shake it, not even some ignorant comments or stares.

luvinpray View Profile	Dating after abuse?? Posted : 16 Jan, 2014 04:32 PM Thank you so much. I wanted to update ya'll on the situation. I decided not to date right now. But I still keep this website because I have found valuable friends and good conversation. Sadly I am still in the abusive situation but it is from afar. We have been divorced three years now, and have a ten year old daughter together. When I left him, my daughter and I were actually in Hubbard house, to get away from him. He is very abusive emotionally, verbally, financially, and sexually. He was only physically abusive with walls, and trash cans and things. I had everything in my court to get full custody, and probably take his rights away, or at least get supervised visits. But I was so scared of him and his parents. They harassed me, and threatened me. He also contested the divorce. I let my mom and his mom make the divorce arrangements, so we split everything down the middle. Long story short, he isn't a preacher anymore, he is addicted to methadone, bipolar, and ocd, and cannot keep a job or pay child support. Everytime I would take him to court for child support, him and his parents would harass me and threaten me. It worked over the years, but enough is enough. It's been three years, and I don't deserve to be treated like this, and he is not showing any improvement, and ins't stepping up to be a parent. So I filed for no contact with his dad and him, but contact with the grandmother. Since then the grandmother won't talk to me, and everyday he threatens me through text telling me I'm a horrible mom, I'm evil, and a liar, etc etc. Our court date should be in three months. I am hoping and praying that the court sees the control and manipulation and abusive behavior, and stops visitation. The other thing is my daughter is ten, she rarely ever wants to see her dad. She does want a relationship with the grandma. It is a weird situation because the grandmother is being abused to. I was in tears today at work, from the texts from him. I just don't understand how he can treat me like this. It never is about my daughter, it just seems like he doesn't want me happy. I also don't want my daughter to think this is how men are sopposed to be. My mom, and my grandmother were in abusive relationships (my mom still is with my dad), and it was passed on to me. I refuse to pass that on to my daughter. So if I have to not date until I have a healthy man come into my life so be it. I have a lot of healthy nice Christian male friends around that are good male figures for her. So please pray for me, and for my ex husband. That God's will be done in this court situation. And as for the one comment, yes some of the "abuse" may have been because we were young, etc. But the rest of it is not. He is now 32 and I'm 29, and he still yells, cusses, degrades me whenever he doesn't get his way.
luvinpray View Profile	Dating after abuse?? Posted : 5 Nov, 2013 07:39 PM Wow, thank you so much for your response. Def the words I needed. Well it is tricky because my ex husband was a preacher. So I still have hang ups with certain scriptures, preachers (if they have deep southern accents), etc. I think your right. I do need more time to just fall in love with the Lord, and let him heal every inch of the brokenness in my heart. I had a lot of brokenness caused by men, and I do not want to project that on to my Christian brothers, future dates, or future husband. I still struggle with my past because it was really traumatic, and still have nightmares. But God has already done miracles in my life, and I believe he will keep it doing them. I am actually really busy now with getting my life together as a single mom. I was too dependent on my ex, so I have had to learn how to work, pay bills, get my own place, and now I'm also in school. It is amazing to think how far I have come. So maybe like you said my "husband" God is still working on. Or maybe it's me God still needs to work on before we can find each other. I'm not terrified to be alone like I used to. But the feelings that come and go every couple of months of the desire to be loved, and have a family tug at me. And having a child, I wish that they had a good father figure in their life. But maybe I just need to have more faith, and show my child they can depend on God instead of man? Well thank you for your response. :)
luvinpray View Profile	College Students? Posted : 5 Nov, 2013 06:53 PM Me!! :applause:
luvinpray View Profile	Dating after abuse?? Posted : 5 Nov, 2013 06:43 PM I have a question about dating after abuse? I have a long history with abusive guys, so when I finally realized something was wrong I stopped dating, ended up becoming a Christian, and really healing my life. I didn't date for about 2 years. My best friend and I decided to date because we felt a connection there. Well dating him just didn't feel right. I didn't feel like he was going to be the man I marry, so there was no reason to keep dating him. I valued his friendship way more then I did a boyfriend. So my question is what does healthy dating feel like? Do you still get all those feelings like butterflies, and little crush? Do you think maybe I just need more time to sort through how I feel? I guess I'm just confused about the whole Christian dating. It is so different then how I used to date. For one the men are different, they actually treat you with respect, and are kind to you. They value your opinions. But they take forever to ask girls out too. lol. So you have trouble knowing if they like you. Most of my past relationships were based on sex and abuse. Which I haven't been sexual now for two years, I wonder if that will change the chemistry and feelings towards a guy I date. I don't believe that Christians should be having sex, I've seen too much of the consquences of it, so I know I won't want that in my future relationships unless he puts a ring on it. Should I just stay single and not date until I figure out myself more? Or should I date as long as I can keep it healthy and pure? I missed a lot of the social interaction that most people have when they are younger. At 18 I got married, and was married till I was 27 to an abusive controlling man. So my social dating skills are lacking big time. lol. I still have a hard time getting to know a guy and trusting him. My best friend is the first guy I've let get so close to me, and it's been a year since we met. I've noticed as each year passes and I heal more, my self esteem grows and my wants in a relationship change. So maybe I just need to make more healthy male friend relationships?